Thread by @megelison

I just ruined a jackhole's day in Hayes Valley. Fuck with me.

Still shaking.

Motherfucker comes to my table, unbidden. I assume he's a waiter; he's not. I'm having a drink and a snack. I look up and he's got Fake Concern Face on.

Without preamble he says, "If you took better care of yourself, you'd find somebody to love you."

I'm already steaming fucking mad and I almost throw my Coke in his face. Instead, I calmly show him my wedding ring, and then give him the finger. I don't speak. I'm looking at Met Gala photos; leave me ALONE

He half-turns away, then turns back. This albatross fuck. "I didn't mean anything offensive by it. I just think we have these moments of clarity--"

I cut him off.

I tell him if he needs to make a fat girl cry so he can have something to jack off to, then he better pay by the minute for it because there are professionals who provide that service. I am not one of them, and this is not an appropriate place to solicit me.

He can't get his mouth working right. I speak over his sputters, tell him idk who the fuck he thinks he's talking to, but he's dismissed.

He has the NERVE to "Namaste" me as he slinks out of this place where I was having a peaceful moment by myself.

Friends, I yelled GO FUCK YOURSELF at his cringing back.

I still feel more rattled than triumphant. But seriously, my good bitch. Go fuck yourself. Who does that? Don't do that.