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oh fuck
OH FUCK
I was supposed to slay Dracula, like
yesterday
god damn that totally slipped my mind
all right
shit
I’m getting in my car right now hang on
so yeah wow
if your spouse has been abducted by a giant bat, that is entirely my bad
okay fuck I’m getting to it
I’M GETTING TO IT
I just reached the moat, that’s...what, 10% of the castle right there?
I just have to answer the ferryman’s riddle and boom
all right so the ferryman might
MIGHT
be dead
we got to arguing over whether his riddles were bullshit, things were said, and now we’re going through the window that can only be opened by nobody asking questions
okay so before you ask yes I am working on it I am wading through this forsaken castle with blade and spear okay
things are getting done
I JUST want to say that there is a LOT of skeleton-slaying in this job and before you go judging me maybe you should have to fence with a femur
all right yes I agree this would be ideally be solved by now
but it didn't happen so we've got this okay
I'm in the middle of the Unnecessarily Sexy level of the castle
like, it's obviously all a LITTLE sexy but this one is just tasteless
all right, so far I have beaten the shit out of a merperson, a reverse-merperson, a medusa, some kind of were...horse? Beaver? I can't fucking tell
anyway, I am for sure closing in on Dracula so just fuckin chill about the Blood Red Moon rising grim and unnatural in the heavens
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More from @SamSykesSwears see all

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Sam Sykes
@SamSykesSwears
Tired: Half-Orcs with tragic origin stories steeped in violence.
Wired: Half-Orcs with embarrassingly doting human and orc parents who make terrible jokes and always send them to the dungeon with a box of food.
“So you’re a Fighter now?”
“Ma, I just took a level in Fighter. I’m still a Barbarian.”
“Why couldn’t you just be a nice Cleric? That’s a very safe profession.”
“Ma...”
“Why not a Warlock? They get patrons. With tentacles.”
“DAD.”
“So I hear you’re going to the Frost Tombs of Jarl Grökka?”
“Yeah, he’s been causing trouble for towns—“
“And just like that? You’re not going to take a coat to a cold place like that?”
“Ma, we have potions.”
“Leave him alone, Hrathka, the boy has potions.”
Read 7 tweets
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Sam Sykes
@SamSykesSwears
consider: Donald Duck visited both Duckburg and his friends elsewhere, but Mickey and Goofy never visited him in Duckburg
was this intentional
were they forbidden
were Goofy and Mickey enemies of the state? Or were outsiders forbidden from Duckburg?
it is implied that Scrooge McDuck’s presence alone moves an economy roughly the size of California’s, thus suggesting that he is perhaps a strongman, an oligarch who wields capital mercilessly
this suggests that whatever Mickey and Goofy did, it was against Scrooge
Read 5 tweets
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Sam Sykes
@SamSykesSwears
*crawls out from under your bed as you sleep* anyway another cool thing about #TheWitcher is how they weren't worried about subversion or deconstruction. A lot of the characters lean on tropes and let the relationships between them explore the depth of those tropes.
*disappears as you wake up in a cold sweat* it's a cool thing to observe in this day and age. Stories, especially long-running nerd stories, tend to get catalogued, codified, arranged, so that subversion is the only joy left. #TheWitcher avoids this by being unconcerned with it.
*crawls across your ceiling as you try to fall back asleep* it's worth noting, since as our more prominent media starts to rely on subversion, a subtle pressure is exerted and writers begin to think ALL stories need this, when that isn't true. Subversion is fun, but not necessary
Read 13 tweets

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Seth Cotlar
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Wow.
I haven't fully thought this through so I might change my mind, but right now I'm thinking this is brilliant. We should just flood Facebook with fake, anti-GOP crap. Create fake MAGA FB pages and fill them with ads where Trump attacks Mitch McConnell and Lindsey Graham.
Create convincing ads in which incumbent Republicans running in Red states are "exposed" as being anti-Trump RINOs. Run ads with made up quotes from Trump about how much he hates travelling to sh*thole states like Michigan, Ohio, and Wisconsin.
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ladynada
@heartdaughter
THREAD:

01] A Message From Father #God for Sunday November 12, 2017

Establish My Kingdom On Earth Before #Jesus Returns

medium.com/@ladynada/esta…

To all My Beloved Children, so few of you ask what is on My heart for Mankind on Earth? I seek to close out this age.

#Prophecy
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