Thread by @SamSykesSwears

Tired: Half-Orcs with tragic origin stories steeped in violence.
Wired: Half-Orcs with embarrassingly doting human and orc parents who make terrible jokes and always send them to the dungeon with a box of food.

“So you’re a Fighter now?”
“Ma, I just took a level in Fighter. I’m still a Barbarian.”
“Why couldn’t you just be a nice Cleric? That’s a very safe profession.”
“Ma...”
“Why not a Warlock? They get patrons. With tentacles.”
“DAD.”

“So I hear you’re going to the Frost Tombs of Jarl Grökka?”
“Yeah, he’s been causing trouble for towns—“
“And just like that? You’re not going to take a coat to a cold place like that?”
“Ma, we have potions.”
“Leave him alone, Hrathka, the boy has potions.”

“Did you hear about your little playmate, Kraagthor the Loathsome?”
“He’s not my playmate, Ma, he’s my sworn nemesis. He slew my entire party with an act of betrayal.”
“He’s a Doctor now.”
“He’s a NECROMANCER.”

“So how come you never bring your party members around anymore?”
“No reason.”
“Always liked them. Except that Paladin. I found her a little too...”
“Dad.”
“Holier than thou.”
“Dad, please.”

"What do you say we go out and toss the ball like old times?"
"I don't think that's a good idea, Dad."
"C'mon, you're not too tough for your old man."
"I wield the hammer Gnarl Fang, it shatters giant's sternums, Dad."
"Pff. Listen to Mr. Big Shot Paul's Fang."
"GNARL Fang."

“So did you save the dungeon by being a Mr. Grumpypants?”
“It’s RAGE, Ma. A Barbarian Rage!”
“Oops! Sorry, I always forget and go back to what we used to call it when you were little. Remember, Harold?”
“Oh, he was SUCH a Mr. Grumpypants.”
“DAD.”