Thread by @TheEdVerse

jason_wilson @jason_wilson
What was the fate of Zeboaster the Blunt, @TheEdVerse? He was a highlight of 1989's "Forgotten Realms Adventures."

1)
Zeboaster the Blunt was an effete, perfumed-bearded sage of Ordûlin, in Sembia, who specialized in matters of theology and history among the humans of the Dragonreach shores, and was dubbed “the sage on the run” after his loud…
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2)
…public opinions repeatedly forced him to flee the wrath of rulers, authorities, and the powerful and influential.
Zeboaster disappeared from public view during the Time of Troubles in 1358 DR, in Selgaunt, after angering the…
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3)
…clergy of Myrkul and narrowly escaping death at their hands eight times. Grasping their deadly intent, he plunged into hiding after witnessing a fat merchant and his equally fat wife trying to murder each other; while…
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4)
…grappling, plunging knives into each other, and wailing in pain, they fell from a luxury inn balcony past Zeboaster’s balcony, and perished when they slammed into the roof of a covered barge, breaking bones and dashing…
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5)
…themselves senseless, then slid off it and (weighed down by the fancy-dress armor they were both wearing, from a revel they’d just attended) promptly drowned in the harbor, sinking and leaving only bubbles behind, that…
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6)
…trailed away to nothing without them bobbing up again.
Seeing his chance, Zeboaster broke into their rooms, intending to shave off his beard and pose as the merchant. However, he discovered that the man was too short, had…
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7)
…feet that were too small, and was too slender for any of his garb to fit. However, the merchant’s wife (thanks to a whim of the Watching Gods) was a perfect fit.
So the shaved Zeboaster crossdressed and became wealthy…
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8)
…Zarorba Athelmoin, widow of Augrust Athelmoin, and hastily booked passage on a ship bound for Westgate. “Her” haste was a good thing, because “she” was soon suspected of her husband’s murder. So in Westgate, Zeboaster…
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9)
…changed his name again, becoming Aumra Gulthanor, a fortuneteller, and joined a caravan bound for Berdusk, Iriaebor, Scornubel, and Waterdeep.
“She” was on the road across the Heartlands for the worst of the tumult of the…
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10)
…Time of Troubles, narrowly avoided being murdered in Scornubel by a band of halfling thieves who sought to seduce “her” and relieve her of her valuables, and ended up working with those thieves, the Buralt Brothers, in…
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11)
…Waterdeep, becoming their den mother [providing them with “cover” and a home and treasure-stash] (and still a fortuneteller) in Trades Ward, where “she” eventually became the lover of several bored older noblewomen who…
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12)
…consulted her (on larks), discovered that “she” was in fact a man, and decided their husbands would never suspect their indiscretions if Aumra was very careful to maintain her gender fiction, so they paid her well to do so.
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13)
One of them happened to be of a size with Zeboaster, and so was able to slowly cast off gowns and accessory garments, and build Aumra quite a wardrobe.
Living this life, Aumra lived to a ripe old age, dying of heartstop…
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14)
…late in the winter of 1426 DR (having outlived all but one of his noble patrons; the last one paid for his burial on her family estate, so “her” secret could die with her—and it did. Until now.)
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