AltFDA Profile picture
Sep 3, 2020 11 tweets 4 min read Read on X
There is a lot of chatter about #vaccines and phases right now but it’s all at a science level and we know the understanding is getting lost so, #Thread 🧵
Let’s look at the phases like a Midwest Christian out on the dating scene after their first marriage.
Phase 1- You’re on your 4th date and no red flags have popped up so it’s time to see what each other is bringing cash and prizes wise to the relationship.
You do a little heavy petting, some kissing, maybe even some sorta oral and agree that each of you are ok with the data you’ve provided and agree to move forward.
Phase 2- 2 weeks later after you have prayed and discussed every last detail with your friends, you set up sex date 2 (this one you go all the way!).
The next day you’re all wine hung over but don’t feel like you have a walk of shame out to your car. The sex was good but they couldn’t quite get you there with their data. On the plus side, they used protection and no harmful side effects (baby) appeared.
Phase 3- 2 days later and it’s fucking on! The sexting has you all worked up and ready to see what they really have to offer.

Your friend reminds you though, the third sex is where all the freaky stuff comes out.

You’re like whatever! I got this based on previous data.
Phase 3 (that night)- You’re doing it and during a pause for a wine sip, they whip out a gimp mask!
You’re like wtaf! That reaction came out of nowhere. Well it’s not serious and probably not going to happen often so you put the mask on.

At the end of your night, they orgasamed 4 times and they only made you see the light once.
Data review- You’re home, you’re talking over the trial with your thirsty bestie and realize that they were only 25% effective and had a rare but pronounced side effect (gimp mask fetish).
In the end the Vaccine was marginal and while safe, you could not give it’s number to your thirsty ass cougar friend.

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More from @alt_fda

Nov 10, 2022
THREAD 🧵 Every pundit right now is “Gen-Z showed up to vote, why? “ and not a single one has gotten it right. So to all you talking heads, let me fill you in on some shit. (1)
Culture wars are fought by ppl who have shit! Gen-Z is looking around and seeing that they can’t afford, oh I don’t know, food, housing, school, fucking life! (2)
Because they can’t afford shit, battles over CRT, wokeness, litter boxes in schools, I could go on… These arguments are bullshit and not helping anything or anyone other then controlling assholes. (3)
Read 9 tweets
May 6, 2022
⛑⛑Ladies⛑⛑

A bunch of fuckers are working to take away your rights. I’m sorry but here’s how I can help beyond voting their asses out. A thread on how to make #Abortion pills at home. 🧵

First, watch this video: archive.org/details/FTVDIYA

Now the lab advice you need😉
First I’m going to add a few more things to your need list to make this happen:

Wax paper
Distilled water

If easily gotten, Rubbing Alochol.
(This is not a need and will make no difference in the outcome, it’s just for cleaning your tools)
Step 1: Gather all of your items and clean them. If you have Rubbing Alcohol, rinse all your tools with the alcohol (except the Wax Paper) and let them dry.
Read 14 tweets
Nov 4, 2021
I’ve been seeing a lot of “The Pandemic is ending” pieces of late. They all have 1 thing in common, they are opinion pieces. As such, I thought I would put my 2 cents in there as well, I’m not a reporter compiling sources and parroting what they say into “news”. 🧵#Thread
The pandemic is no where near being over. It’s merely evolved into 3 distinct groups (experiences). Group 1- The vaccinated. Group 2- The partially/ under vaxxed but no longer give a fuck and Group 3- The Un-vaccinated.

Let’s talk about each group/ experience.
Group- 1: The fully Vaxxed. This is ppl like me. I am restarting my life and I am very comfortable with where we are in this.

New variant wise the risk is now low, most (more dangerous) variants are generated when the virus meets a new gene pool (population).
Read 19 tweets
Jun 22, 2021
All over the news, all I’m hearing about is the Delta and it’s not the one I want news about! 😡 #Thread 🧵
It’s not this Delta either
It’s about this Delta.
Read 12 tweets
May 27, 2021
Thread Jacking this #Thread to write a #Thread 🧵 because I’m loosing my mind over this “it came form the lab” shit right now.
First off, let’s get a VERY IMPORTANT FACT STRAIGHT. All scientist agree (Read that again), #COVID19 is not a man created bio weapon! forbes.com/sites/coronavi…
Once again #COVID19 is not a BIO WEAPON!
Read 10 tweets
May 25, 2021
This dropped today and I have some thoughts on it. #Thread 🧵americanoversight.org/document/foia-…
First off, I cannot wait to read my jacket.
Beyond that, this is a critical step in seeing how far trump and his Russian admin went in securing his rule.

The @GOP screams #CancelCulture while claiming some authoritarian tactics to protect the US are ok.
Read 7 tweets

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