After seeing a bunch of well-meant but increasingly irritating advice that some of us, the #loveisnottourism - communitiy, received & still receives, I decided to share something too.
Why can't we just break up with those partners and move on and make everybody's life easier?
Why can't we just break up with those partners and move on and make everybody's life easier?
Why are we insisting on making our own lives hell?
Maybe this will shed some light: Have you ever gone through a breakup but you did not want to? That you did not feel relieved but broken?
This is, to some extend, what we've been dealing with for more than 7 months.
Quote:
Maybe this will shed some light: Have you ever gone through a breakup but you did not want to? That you did not feel relieved but broken?
This is, to some extend, what we've been dealing with for more than 7 months.
Quote:
"Studies [say] the same areas in the brain that light up in imaging scans when we break a leg are activated when we split up w/ our mate. As part of a reaction to a breakup our brain experiences the[ir] departure [..] in a similar way to that in which it registers physical pain.
When we break up with someone, our attachment system goes into overdrive, and [...] we can think of nothing but getting back together with our loved one. The fact that one person can take away all our discomfort in a split second makes it very hard to resist [seeing them again].
Just being in the same room is enough to entirely relieve the anxiety in a way that no other single friend or family member can."
End of quote.
Just like in a breakup, our partners are out of reach and there is nothing we can do about it. It's out of our control.
End of quote.
Just like in a breakup, our partners are out of reach and there is nothing we can do about it. It's out of our control.
It is no wonder that so many have broken up over this because the pain is unbearable.
The difference to the "not being with each other on a day to day basis" to what is happening now is that this was somewhat in our control. And we felt safe meeting our loved ones elsewhere.
The difference to the "not being with each other on a day to day basis" to what is happening now is that this was somewhat in our control. And we felt safe meeting our loved ones elsewhere.
Would you end things with your partner because of a virus? No. We don't want to either. The problem is, this pain affects both us and our partners. And at some point we just want it to stop. This is why people give up.
We never asked for difficult long distance relationships, arguments about the future, arguments with our family and friends, and the dread that pursuing this love means a 💩-load of sacrifices.
The thing is, you appreciate your s/o more, because they go through the same for you.
The thing is, you appreciate your s/o more, because they go through the same for you.
Quote taken from "Attached: the new science of adult attachment and how it can help you find—and keep—love / by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller". I recommend this book to everyone. It is the handbook for love we never got but needed.
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