Thread by @guylikericky

Dame akikuambia ameenda "road" trip wewe jua the "a" is always silent bro

A Thread

My pal Vic alikua ameshapata DL na kajob mahali, now it was our job to drive these women crazy. Alikua ametoka from a relationship right back home, to the streeeeets. From "morning baby❤" to "battery full remove charger😂" from "kupigana cable" to "unplug cable from socket"

Napendanga watu wakirudi streets, kupiga sherehe na heart broken souls hukua greatness tupu!!. Tulikua tunatafuta that one party ya kujump start dhambi. Hio time big man bar-zu hakua amefungua bar na hatukua na Uhuru wa kunywa Pombe so tulikua tunakata maji chini ya maji.

Tuliorganise some friends in our inner circle na a few girls tukawashow watag some friends . As a girl ukiwai ambiwa tag your friend, kuja na your cheating friend please, acha kutuletea your SDA friend, hatutaki mtu anapiga shot ya fanta anazima😂 So-ya bring your freaky friend.

Drinks na ride sisi ndo tungesimamia halafu madame wakuje kutukalia tukiwakunywa waki-ride along. Drinks nazo zilikua in plenty, zilikua Kibao. Tulikua tunatafuta gari spacious ndio tusi-Chrome ndani, gari kubwa kama Noah hivi. Nikawaambia wasiworry, you know why? Coz I Noah guy.

So on that day, meet up ilikua kwa Vic juu yeye ndo alikua ameendea hio Noah kwa car hire. Watu walikua wanakuja kwa kina Victor wawili wawili ungedhani ni Wanyama wakiingia kwa Noah's ark. Tulikua 10 people: 4 guys na 6 girls. Kwa hao watu kumi watu hawakua wanadate ni sisi lads

Nilitupa manifesto kwa Ray, my pick up line was "girl are you from Tennessee, coz you're the only ten I see😍. Aliingia box, akajifungia na akameza funguo. Tulikua tuende 14 falls huko Kilimambogo kujibamba. Maini zilikua ziumie hio siku lakini what's the point of dying healthy??

We were in a party and it didn't want anger, it didn't want Bomboclaat niccurs. It just wanted ripe quants and we had them😂. Walikua na short dresses ndio waache room washikwe thighs. Some touch of make up and bata ngomas for the culture ,a kasmall purse, you get the idea.

Mkiwa na sherehe hua mnabuy kila kitu except tumblers na sijui kwanini?? Ilibidi tumesimama place tukabuy ndio tuanze kumarinate. Kingfisher ilikua main course because IFYKYK. Vic kadere ilibidi amekunywa Fanta like niccurs in Sondu Miriu😂. Sasa wacha watu waanze kuchoma😭

One of the girls tulimpea LYFT ghasia akararua sachet akaanza kulamba kama glucose. Her friend akamshow "haitumiwangwi hivo wewe" lakini ya'll know the rules, "hakuna kuchoma nusu nusu, kama ni kuchoma choma hadi mwisho" for the culture. You can imagine the ghettaux😖. Aibuu!!

After some time, tulikua Kilimambogo polisss station kwasababu zilikua zimearrest kuliko Sakaja. Kapombe kalikua kameRipoti kuliko Mashirima. After tumefika on site, kuna madame wawili nikama ziliwalemea and they could not can, so ilibidi tumewaacha kwa gari sisi tukaenda laps

We didn't like what we saw, maji chafu imejaa foam mingi, so we didn't stay much. After 30 minutes tulikua tusharudi. Tulikua tunadhani ati wale madame tuliwacha kwa gari wamelala juu ni walevi?? Kusema ukweli madame ni kama spaghetti, they are only straight until they're wet.

Tulipata mmoja ako juu ya mwingine, coochie zilikua zinafunikana kama sahani. Anyway, give to scissor what belongs to scissor. Sisi hatukuona anything cause what happens in Paris....👀, kama unafikiria your women are straight bro, uko pekee yako, you are all bi-yourself😂😂lmao.

After a while tuliwasha system ya gari tuskize some music and have a kasmall outdoor party. Ungedhani huko kuna partnership ya Kenya na Tanzania, kulikua na Uhuru na Pombe. Kila kitu ilikua sawa until Kingfisher ianze kazi😂 so this is what girls say wakicheat and guilt kicks in

"Aki I love my man but there's something about you💀" Hio ni time mnamake out, then inaenda kwa "I won't cheat on my boyfriend so I'll only give you head💀" Hio ni time things zimewaka halafu mnamalizia "We don't have to smash, I just want to see if it can fit💀" mkiteremshana

Dame yako akunywe pombe hajalipia, atumie gari na mafuta enye hajalipia halafu unadhani hataguzwa juu ni dame yako😂😂. Kwani we ni nani? After wamecheat by mistake on purpose, ndio wanatext their man "aki babe I'm tired, I've missed you today, nitakutext nikifika, I love you❤"

Halafu wewe na kiherehere unareply "take care, I love you too❤" You're not a clown you're the entire circus bro. Dame yako akikuambia hataki kuenda na wewe club or "rod trip" coz utakua jelaz ni juu anataka freedom ya kua ratchet without being held accountable😂 iriz what iriz

Anyway every woman is bi, you just have to find out kama ni sexual or polar. Nairobi relationships ni 50/50, you pay for her nails, sisi tunagwara usiku kucha. Unampost, tunamhost. Unamsweet talk, tunamswitch talk. Umepata jiko ni sawa, lakini sisi ndio tunaweka kuni.

That day we had lots of fun, tulifika home poa cause our kadere was sober. Mkienda out make sure your driver hayuko under the influence, kama nyi wote ni walevi take a cab na msiogope, there's no shame in safety. Stay safe

Thanks for the support and feedback. Check out my other threads, follow for more threads. Tag your friends.❤❤

https://twitter.com/guylikericky/status/1310846574919069697?s=19