After 2 weeks of multiple health screens and asking everyone to quarantine, I surprised my closest inner circle with a trip to a private island where we could pretend things were normal just for a brief moment in time.
After 2 weeks of multiple health screens and asking everyone to quarantine, I surprised my closest inner circle with a trip to a private island where we could pretend things were normal just for a brief moment in time.
After 2 weeks of multiple health screens and asking everyone to quarantine, I surprised my closest inner circle with a trip to a private island where we could pretend things were normal just for a brief moment in time.
After 2 weeks of multiple health screens and asking everyone to quarantine, I surprised my closest inner circle with a trip to a private island where we could pretend things were normal just for a brief moment in time.
After 2 weeks of multiple health screens and asking everyone to quarantine, I surprised my closest inner circle with a trip to a private island where we could pretend things were normal just for a brief moment in time.
After 2 weeks of multiple health screens and asking everyone to quarantine, I surprised my closest inner circle with a trip to a private island where we could pretend things were normal just for a brief moment in time.

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More from @iowahawkblog

28 Oct
The "I just left a hipster coffee shop" legend exists in all cultures
A good rule of thumb for telling if someone is insane: they follow 100,000 people on twitter
jfc I follow only about 500 accounts, carefully curated to minimize exposure to nutjobs, and my Twitter feed still often reads like feces scrawls from a padded cell
Read 5 tweets
27 Oct
I told Twitter Support I had some of their secret Zoom meeting recordings
Contrary to too many conjectures, I was not suspended, nor have I ever been suspended by Twitter for any reason. Some asshole hacked my account, and got it back probably because a few notable people intervened on my behalf.
if you're looking for a culprit in the great Iowahawk hacking caper, look no further than this sack of shit. This account was magically created immediately after mine was hacked, renamed & deleted. Now serving all your natural health and Somali telecommunication needs
Read 7 tweets
26 Oct
Van Halen played Hilton Coliseum at ISU the night before, then Diamond Dave led the Hawkeye marching band at halftime during the Iowa-ISU game at Iowa's Kinnick Stadium. VH played Cedar Rapids that night. /1
This still pisses me off because it reminds me how Iowa State (the supposed cow college) actually got good campus concerts, the latest MTV hair metal bands and New Wave groups, while Iowa (the supposed bohemian party school) didn't. /2
Read 6 tweets
20 Oct
CNN can't deny America's unslakeable thirst for ratings magnet Jeffrey Toobin
the main difference between working in journalism and working at Panda Express is you probably can get fired for masturbating at work at Panda Express
Read 4 tweets
20 Oct
Rejoice Zoom wankers, #MeToobin movement has arrived
"how would you want to be treated if you accidentally got caught pleasuring yourself during a work Zoom meeting?"

I think I'd be pleasantly amazed if I was able to escape with a suspension and some punitive mockery
No, there is absolutely nothing mockworthy about the New Yorker magazine assembling its intellectual A Team for a Zoom election simulation, and then the guy assigned to play the Supreme Court starts choking his chicken because he thinks the mute button turns of the camera
Read 5 tweets
19 Oct
OK I added DogPipeGuy as my avi again. Didn't realize he was that big a thing.
Ingredients of DogPipeGuy:

Dog: Bernese mountain dog from a 1980s Xerox ad

Pipe: the pipe from Magritte's The Treachery of Images

Guy: random professor from a 1960 Luther College yearbook, forehead, neck and suit photshopped for extra geekiness
IRL I much more resemble this guy
Read 9 tweets

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