Thread by @mynamesnotgordy

What I learnt on the Twitter this week:

1. Alberta's War Room says it's just like any other plucky little startup with $30M of no-strings-attached budget, an unaccounted for $1.5B and logo design department called Google search.
2. Doug Ford learned how to colour code Excel tabs

3. Conservatives are outraged about cancel culture and urge people to stop shopping at Whole Foods to force them to uncancel poppies.
4. Doug Ford says government deregulation is required in order for business to grow and that's why he's legislating Whole Foods to listen to him.

5. Kenney says "personal responsibility" is the way to fight Covid, not lockdowns; then locks himself away in his mom's basement to avoid media.
6. Ford's new tiered pandemic system politely suggests a change in business hours if all your customers are hospitalized or dead.

7. O'Toole says veterans fought and died in wars so people buying organic avocados could see the produce manager wearing a plastic flower.
8. Doug says the best way to honour veterans is to cut $100M from LTC funding and wear a plastic flower for a week.

9. Lecce says that since one school in rural Ontario is doing okay that proves the provincial system is working.
10. The Ford government quietly opens up GTA's protected lands for commercial and residential development by Vaughan Working Families.
11. Doug Ford went to McDonalds.

12. 10.5K Canadians dead and thousands left with lifelong debilitating health conditions; this is shaping up to be one of Canada's worst hoax seasons.
13. Ontario government colour codes lockdown stages, Manitoba considers a curfew and Alberta says house parties maybe a bad idea.

14. Auditor General says UCP's War Room's finances a bigger mess than ever witnessed before. War Room says they got a little behind in their bookkeeping because of "the flu" going around.
15. Kenney moves 8 construction guys to a new curb-repair project, claims massive job boom.

16. Dr Tam suggests three-layer non-medical masks are better. Conservatives outraged that learnin's is involved in a new and ever-evolving situation.
17. During a press conference Doug Ford and Brian Lilley reenact that scene from the Flintstones when Fred and Barney disgaree.

18. Trump furious votes for Biden are being counted. That's it. That's the funny part.
19. Trump children sign Instagram Influencer deals with Goya beans, mypillow and nasal reconstruction plastic surgeon.
20. Bill Barr and Pence spotted at hardware store buying backup generator.

21. Right Wing outraged with Left. Left Wing outraged at the Right. Centrists outraged about all the outrage. The world's conservative overlords are tickled pink.
22. Twitter flags Trump's tweets for misinformation. Facebook forgets to take down Bannon's little beheading thingy.

23. US election ballot counting going into its 8th month and Melania still hates Christmas.
24. Ontario experiences record-setting fall temps. Doug Ford says it's all part of their best plan ever.
25. UCP MLA says labour unions selling human organs. Outraged they're charging PST.

26. You can't teach an old Doug new tricks.
27. Backing away from all the digital vinegar, vitriol and vehemence for a bit is the best approach to calm internalized outrage. Also, binge watching The Office. While eating licorice. But it's really the gin.