I am tired. I’ve spent the last 8 months caring for #COVID patients. I’ve missed my family and friends. I’ve missed birthdays and my own wedding anniversary. I’ve coded nurses and doctors who worked in the same hospital as I when they contracted #coronavirus. I kept going.
I believed my country needed my skills to save American lives so I dropped everything and flew to New York. I’ve worked in South Jersey, Philadelphia PA, Chester PA and now I’m back in Texas. We were making gains. The numbers were dropping. The curve was flattening.
I was able to leave the Covid ICU. I was assigned to a non Covid floor. I was finally able to go home. My toddler has stopped crying every time I leave the room because she was scared I wasn’t coming back.
It’s heartbreaking to watch a happy child get sad because she thinks her Mama is leaving again. Children don’t understand their parents being gone for months at a time. We were finally settling in and getting back to out née normal.
But then @realDonaldTrump and his followers started this anti mask bullshit. Now our numbers are climbing again. Actually they are worse (in my hospital) than the first wave. I’m going back to the #COVID unit.
I’m going back to a small cold one bedroom apartment and leaving my home. I’m going back to an uncertain future. I’m going back except now I’m losing hope.
The worst part of it all is my little one. She is so happy that her Mama is home. Now I have to leave again. I dread the holidays. Not one of these selfish anti maskers is going to care that I’ll spend my holidays alone so they can be assholes and not wear masks.
They don’t have to see my child’s tears. They wouldn’t care anyway. She won’t get to eat my sweet potato pie on friendship and fellowship day. This will be the first year that she’s excited about our tree and the gifts under it. I’m going to miss it all.
This is what I have to give up so these horribly selfish people can go to their grandmas house and infect her with Covid. Then they’ll bring her to my hospital. They’re not kind. The are entitled assholes who think someone else got grandma sick.
They’re the ones that will follow you to another patients room to tell you their grandmother is more important than the patient you’re going to see. They’re the ones that will take off their AirVo to blame China for the “China virus” they are the ones that call me girl.
They tell me how admirable it is that I “speak good English” and manage to overcome to get a college degree. They are racist covidiots and they refuse to acknowledge the harm they cause.
I deserve a break. The deserve to watch my baby open her gifts on Christmas. I deserve to work without fear that today might be the day I contract coronavirus. I AM FUCKING TIRED.

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More from @WellReadBlkGrl

16 Apr
I spend my nights busting my ass to keep Americans alive. I don’t care what color they are, how much money they make or who they voted for because life is precious. I became a nurse because I believe that life is precious.
I remember my first semester in nursing school. We were all eager to get started on this new adventure. We felt like the chosen few.
Out of 400+ applicants, there were 125 of us sitting in front of a very dignified professor. We’d all heard about her. She was a boss.
Read 18 tweets
6 Apr
A nurse died today from #COVID19 my heart breaks for her family. After dedicating herself to a career of helping people, she died alone. I think of all the lives she impacted thru healing....the patients she educated on how to live their best lives.
I think about those who will never know her or her love for this profession. She loved being a nurse because she loved people. Now she’s gone. @realDonaldTrump and @jaredkushner that stockpile belongs to TAXPAYERS. It belongs to the doctors, nurses, respiratory therapist and aids
We don’t know if she would be alive today if she had had proper #PPE but for her family to be left wondering is a travesty of justice. Trump is making a mockery of one of the most respected careers in our country. We are dying taking care of American citizens.
Read 4 tweets
25 Mar
How valuable is your life? What dollar amount is adequate reimbursement for you to make the ultimate sacrifice? How about your children? Name a price. I’ll tell you how valuable our lives are to this administration and Congress. $1200 for you and $500 for your child.
That’s IF you didn’t make $75k last year. This #stimulusbill is spitting in the faces of American healthcare workers. I’m not talking about doctors or nurses this time. I’m talking about the CNAs who barely make $15/h, the food service workers making $10/h and EVS workers...
They’re doing good to make $8. All of these people are essential. I can’t do my job without them and you can’t heal without them. Not only are they exposed to #Covid19 but they face social stressors trump and the senate couldn’t imagine. Schools are closed. That’s childcare.
Read 10 tweets
23 Mar
I’m a critical care registered nurse. I just got off my shift where I worked 13 hours straight with no break. I didn’t even have time to use the restroom. When I got there we stood in line to get our temps checked, answer screening questions and get our assignments.
We usually only take 2 patients because our patients are the sickest and are fighting for their lives. Last night I had to take 3 very ill patients because my co workers were assigned patients diagnosed with #COVID19. We were issued mask that don’t protect us from the virus.
The look on our charge nurse’s face was that of extreme sadness and guilt. She knew just like we did that if another patient came up (there is a constant flow) we would be exposed and that thin yellow mask wouldn’t protect us. I took the mask. Something is better than nothing.
Read 11 tweets

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