#IKnowAGuy
Season 5
The Swindlers - Coming Soon.
.
11:30pm.

This girlie opens the door of her apartment and locks it behind her. But there is some uneasiness.

Like someone else is in there. She rushes to her daughter's room, finds her asleep. Just like she left her an hour ago.
Phewx.

But she's still scared. Very scared for someone who has walked from Tamasha to Rose Avenue past 10pm.

She goes into her bedroom, gets under her blanket and whispers a prayer.

Lights off.

Kidogo, she someone breath out sloowly.

She freezes.

Her heart is in her tummy.
Her duvet is lifted slowly. That someone slides into her bed. He smells like half a man. She jumps off on the bed for the lights, but bumps into another man, who grabs her by the neck, lifts her and pins her back into her bed.

The first guy chuckles.

She begs 'Please, please.'
'Ssshhhh... Quiet.' He says.

He rubs his hands on her tummy. The other man sits on the bed.

'Shhh...' He endeleas, 'Or we will do bad things to your daughter in front of you.'

She relaxes her whole body and lies still.

She didn't know she had that much tears.
.
#TheSwindlers

• • •

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More from @paushinski

19 Dec
So...

Mrs. 178 set up a WhatsApp group last week to organise a surprise house warming for 108 who moved into a main house.

[PS: 108 will forever be 108. Ata aende wapi.]

Anywho, sguys jitolea what they bring ama cash pledges.

Mrs. 256 and a few others are not in this group.
On Tuesday, Mrs. 256 is added to the group.

😭😭😭

And I had said huyo Mama asiingizwe. Hawakuniskia. Kiburi tu.

She says she wants to be in charge of the women delegation, alafu she says she has a special surprise for the young man.

She also says she wants to be treasurer.
Context:

It is a tradition, (not a standing order) that if you move into the Esto, the committee organizes a special welcome / Doulos kinda orientation.

Usually a few people will visit younas soon as you move in. Alafu on the last Sunday of the month, people come with food.
Read 16 tweets
21 Nov
Guys.

The guys at house 147 ordered at about 2pm lunch and a mzinga, but it was delivered to house number 47.

Imagine watu wa 47 wamesema walidhani wametumiwa care package with an 'anonymous' person.

Wamemaliza chakula yiote, na mzinga ishafunguliwa.

Leo ni leo. Kitaeleweka.
The guys at 47 have offered to cook for 147.

147 guys are maaaad. Naskia kuwafungulia paybill gofundme aki.
The guys at 147 are crying because hiyo food walikuwa wamechangisha.

Now they want either their money ama watu wa 47 wazae hiyo delivery pap.

Wanaongea na machungu aki.

😭😭😭
Read 5 tweets
20 Nov
An Old Poem.
.
If we must ever have to write each other, it must be poems.
You must write in short sentences, using catchy phrases.
It must be in at most three verses that stand alone, but that find much deeper meaning in each other.
Nothing more than a page. Maybe slightly more.
If you should ever write me a poem, it should take my whole being into it. My mind, my heart, my body and my strength.
It must not have my name, but whoever reads it must know it is me.

It must be short and sweet, it doesn't matter how much rage is there. Sweet rage even.
It must be so discrete, not open to everyone, that someone can steal and send to their loved one. Or the one they hate.

If I should ever receive your poem, it must be about passion. Or hate. Or Anger and pain.

It must be open, straight, upright and full of integrity.
Read 4 tweets
16 Nov
The Real F**boys of Nairobi.
#IKnowAGuy
Ssn V: Ep 4.
December 14, 2014.
Mambashani, Pwani.

.
Stephanie calls home to check on Kaylan, her 2 years old boy.

It is 6:00pm. The phone rings until disconnects. She gives it a few minutes, in case the call will be returned.
.

#TRFNrb
Nothing.

She tries a couple more times.

Still.

Nothing.

She chills kidogo, looking extremely calm on the outside.

An hour later, she calls again. Ala? It takes a while to connect. And then now, the nanny's phone rings funny. Like… she is out of the country.

Ai... Strange.
She tries more times nonstop. She's frantic and wants to tell nanny off.

Finally, ringing stops. Just hollow silence.

She calls a neighbor, asks her to go & angalia kwani what’s up.

Neighbor says ‘Ai. Si nilidhani mumesafiri nyote? Ukweli sijaona Margie na Kaylan for a while.’
Read 66 tweets
21 Sep
The Preacher's Wife Ep 3B.
.
Previously...

Mike drops Cate home after surprise birthday bash fails. Their lips decide to touch. While their lips are touching, the Pastor decides it is the perfect time to arrive home.
.
#SafeIsSmart
.
The Real ***kboys of Nairobi,
#TRFNrb
***
Disclaimer: This story may trigger emotions for some harm is outrightly intended. Similarity of names and situation purely coincidental.
***

Plug: This Episode has come out faster than I thought, because @Niloticbantu_ and @mumssoulfood sent good munchies.

Thank them oya!
Pastor is looking through the windscreen towards them. The kisser and the kissee are looking straight at him. Cate is praying and calling on angels for help. Pastor switches off his car. He steps out. Pauses a bit. Alafu he walks towards Mike’s car.

Mike and Cate wako statue.
Read 45 tweets
17 Sep
Meeting has kicked off.

And no. We are not kwa Kibanda ya 108. Tuko main House ya 108.

Also, msee wa SQv108 has not been invited for this meeting.

178 & Mama Tuyu are the chairs.

#SafeIsSmart
The following are at the meeting.
1. Intercessory Lady
2. Mama Tuyu
3. Baba Tuyu
4. Tuyu
5. 188
6. Mr & Mrsc135
7. 230
8. Min Moraa & Baba Moraa
9. Treasurer
10. Mrs 178
11. Gava Guy's Wife.
12. Me
13. Mr & Mrs 108.

I have volunteered to Acting Secretary.

#ChaiHaitakiUzembe
The Intercessory Lady has started with a word of Prayer.

Amesema Mungu atusaidie tushinde vita dhidi ya adui mkuu.

Me I just said Amen.
Read 12 tweets

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