1. I'm the CEO of a platform for females & know I have a unique insight into the single sex space debate. I see it play out in real time.
During our 1st MVP test phase, 1000s of TW onboarded & created "KILL TERF" profiles.
Are we supposed to take these seriously or not?
2. I fought to include TW on Giggle but the reality is I fought not knowing the hostility of the situation. I was shocked & devastated by the KILL TERF & other obscene profiles, but...
Is "KILL TERFS", "RAPE TERFS" & "LOOK AT MY GIRL DICK" what we can except in the real world?
3. Is it "just" something said to women online or is it something that would be done in "analogue" female spaces?
It's a really important questions to ask, because not only do women not want to read stuff like this... we don't want to physically experience it either.
4. It's important to remember, without this abhorrent behavior we'd all be having a very different debate.
This behavior has *added* to womens fear.
You can dismiss it if it doesn't suit your agenda. But if you do, no solution to ensure the safety of *everyone* will be found.
5. When I read something like this, what stands out to me is the line "a lot of the time I'll get side eye or even outright harassment." Lucky you!
Imagine getting a rape threat.
When that statement is put into the context of the admission prior to it, it's scary for women.
6. Rape threats are scary even to read. They can be sent by someone across the world, with no chance of ever raping you, but they're... triggering.
They remind us of when we were raped, of how easily it could happen again. They remind us the threat is always there. Possible.
7. Women want a break from this behavior, from the threats, from the indignity, from the fear.
This is why female only spaces are so important - even online. Now as much as ever.
But women DON'T have to use their trauma to justify the want and need of a female space.
8. So if you can say "trans women are women" & demand no debate in response...
females can say "we want female only spaces" & give no further reasons.
We didn't make those rules. But we can use them. We've got reasons, but we're happy not to use them.
9. Female spaces are fun. They're supportive. They're a unique experience. They're not always agreeable (but how boring would that be?)
I want trans women to get to experience this with other trans women. To find confidence & camaraderie to celebrate who they are. To be safe.
10. I want the fighting to stop, the adults in the room to wake the f*** up & solutions put into action. Because we all have other things to focus on. We have lives to lead & enjoy.
And I NEVER want to walk into a bathroom & hear "KILL TERF".
Ever.
11. Disclaimer: I'm not doing a disclaimer "Not all trans women". I know that there are absolutely amazing, intelligent, funny & beautiful trans women in the world who acknowledge reality. But we don't make laws based on our best people, do we?
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1/ I left Hollywood after 8yrs & moved to NYC. I needed to be away from the toxicity of Hollywood (& sexual harassment/assault) but I wasn't ready to give up. NYC was my middle ground. I needed a room to rent. I went on all the apps. Men were like "Do you need a boyfriend too?😉"
2
Others were all "You can live here rent free if you walk around naked 😂" & I was like, "SERIOUSLY? CAN I JUST DO 1 THING WITHOUT SEXUAL HARASSMENT?!"
When I returned to 🇦🇺 & was in therapy recovering, my mum & I would chat. She had the idea for Giggle - as a roommate app.
3
She wanted there to be a place for women to find accommodation without sexual harassment. Then I was like, "Oh, what about freelance work?" Then we started talking about all the areas women need a female support network, which was what I was simultaneously learning in therapy.
I created Giggle because I wanted women to have a "refuge" away from misogyny. I'd spent years in Hollywood being sexually abused. I knew my life would be better with an easily accessible female support network. I needed one. I knew I wasn't the only one. So I created one.
1/
I created Giggle not knowing that women in certain parts of the Western World were fighting just to be able to acknowledge females, without getting verbally abused or rights threatened.
When I educated myself, I realized exactly how vulnerable single sex spaces are.
2/
FYI it's called "giggle" because giggle is the collective noun for a group of girls. I know we often refer to each other as "girls" in casual settings. I do.
Also, the Giggle algorithm creates groups of up to 6 users all based on choice & consent.
Want to know what its like being a female CEO of a company you created & founded? In a meeting I called to voice my dissatisfaction of his companys work, where I was a client, I was berated to the point where I walked out. He sent this to the 1 man connected to Giggle. MY DAD 1/5
EMAILED MY DAD. Like my Dad, aka Giggle's very hardworking intern (his official title & role) who has zero authority over Giggle & me, was going to lock his 35 year old CEO daughter in her room until she had thought about what she had done. "Bad girl! Standing up to a man!" 2/5
I often wonder how many male founder/directors/CEO's get told they can't be CEO incase they can't answer a question (see pic) about the company they created. I also wonder if every male CEO ever created can answer every single damn question ever asked to him. 3/5
I respect pronouns & understand being misgendered can be triggering. I know what it's like to feel triggered. When recovering from sexual assault, domestic violence, harassment or plain olde misogyny, having a man/male presence around can be triggering even with no bad intent1
After sexual assault, it took me a long time to feel comfortable being around my DAD. Not because he had EVER done anything bad towards me. But because he is a man and men had violated and invaded me and my life.2
I don't have a choice in how misogyny is dealt to me. I can't Self ID out of it. I have to find the best possible way to cope with it and, little by little, do what I can to eradicate it3
As a writer who left the industry b/c I experienced so much sexual harassment & assault in meetings/etc by execs/producers/directors and had 0 support from my representation... I can't tell you how privileged I find leaving an agency over #JKRowling to be. 1
If I could articulate it, perhaps I would be a better writer... My experiences were in Hollywood, not the literary world. But I know I'm not the only female writer, writing about the female experience, who experienced misogyny & worse on a near constant basis. 2
#MeToo didn't even really change anything. #misogyny is still everywhere. #BelieveWomen is seemingly only acceptable if we're "taking down" straight men, which is absurd. We can't even be believed in our own experience. 3