Thread by @DrJRMarcelin

I am still having trouble processing all of the emotions right now.

Didn’t sleep last night, too anxious about the needle...did I tell you I didn’t like needles? Never have...I’m nervous before every vaccine and blood draw.

Spent 15 mins in my car anxious before going in...

When I got in I went straight to sit for my injection. Very nice nurse asked me a bunch of questions about my risk factors, prior allergic reactions, and possible covid symptoms.

Then she got down to business. I started talking to the camera because I got nervous again.

She was so kind. I told her I didn’t like needles. She spared me the countdown so I wouldn’t know when it was happening and tense up (vaccine needles hurt more when you tense up)

I felt the needle. It hurt. But honestly, Tdap vaccine jab was worse.

Then she was done.

I had prepared a speech that in my mind sounded so eloquent, but instead I was a ball of emotions and probably incoherent. So whenever the @NebraskaMed video comes out I apologize in advance if I don’t make sense. I’m still processing it myself now.

I thought of my cousin Dave, of the 300+K people who have died and all of the Black and Brown people who died at higher rates.

I thought of those who are unsure and in my anxiety I understood them. I thought of the people who are at higher risk than me waiting.

I have a headache...because I didn’t sleep last night? Probably. Don’t panic.

All I know is the thought crossed my mind to run away. I thought of my sis @gradydoctor and her emotions when volunteering for the trial earlier this year.Thanks for calling to check on me, Kimberly 🤗

I thought of the enslaved folks who looked like me who did not have informed consent. Whose bodies were traumatized, experimented upon, whose lives were taken, in the name of science and medicine. I thought of the folks who look like me who recall these memories and grow wary.

After reading the data myself and talking to folks I trusted, I consented to that vaccine. I thought of what a privilege it is to be able to give informed consent.

I know the data and I trust it💯. AND I thought of the very real reasons people have to be anxious about this, and how despite a phenomenal conversation I had with my parents to help them feel better about ME getting vaccinated, there I was anxious about getting it myself.

Maybe this thread will help someone. Or maybe it’s a terrible idea and I might regret it. I am after all an ID doc admitting that I was anxious before getting the covid vaccine. My anxiety was not because of skepticism. I believe in this vaccine.

My anxiety was...complicated.

In the end, I did it. I rolled up my sleeve. #IGotTheShot. For myself. For my parents. For my family. For my community. For Dave. For all the folks who died and those struggling to live. For my ancestors. For Henrietta Lacks. Because Black Lives Matter.