Chxta Profile picture
5 Jan, 5 tweets, 1 min read
An acquaintance of mine was attacked around Orlu two days after Christmas. They were taken to a literal "kidnap factory", where the people involved kept bringing in more victims.
His assailants made him open his phone, went through all his banking apps and made him transfer all the money they could see to some accounts.

These guys weren't even bothering to hide the accounts, indicating a level of impunity that is worrying.
Eventually, after extracting all they could from his accounts (he spent a day in their custody), he was stripped to his boxers, his shoes taken, then he was given ₦500 "as transport" and released.
Here is where the real problem is: he has blocked his SIM but cannot retrieve his phone number because of the new @NgComCommission guidelines.

His family members say that his WhatsApp number (looks like they connected his phone via WiFi) is still asking his contacts for money.
Essentially, asides from being robbed, he is STILL suffering from identity theft, all because of bureaucratic nonsense.

This despite that he's been back in Lagos since before the New Year and trying to sort this nonsense out...

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More from @Chxta

5 Jan
Umu Igbo ka anyi juo onwe anyi ajuju: Okonkwo ọ bụ odogwu? link.medium.com/Cxnog8bNNcb
Ubọchị ole na ole gara aga, agbaara m ntuli aka na Twitter, na-ajụ maka Okonkwo na Akwụkwọ nke a na akpọ Things Fall Apart. Ọ bụ dike?

Emechara m ntuli aka a n'Igbo, asụsụ ndị nna nna m, n'ihi na ọ bụ naanị ndị Igbo ka e mere ntuli aka ahụ.

Dika m tụrụ anya ya, imirikiti ndị zara ya, pasent iri asaa, kwenyere na Okonkwo bụ dike. mu onwem, ọ na atam echiche.
Read 16 tweets
4 Jan
Part of my problem with #Nigeria's way of doing things (asides from the routine anyhowness) is the "unmerited favour" approach, even to governance.

Please read this story, and then let's talk about it. bit.ly/2X5nyHR
At best this is government-by-wishful thinking, at the middle, it is government-by-banter or government-by-miracles, and at worst, plain sabotage.

It is what is so annoying about the way we do things here.
How can you tell us that the first batch of vaccines will arrive in the country at the end of this month, tell us you aim to vaccinate 20% of the population, then in the same breath, tell us that your committee has not yet selected the vaccine most appropriate for the country?
Read 4 tweets
2 Jan
Here is the thing about these 2015 conversations that many appear to have refused to move on from.

They should be a teachable moment. Sadly, aren't asking the right asks. Too many people from my neck of the woods (SE/SS) keep insisting on narratives that won't stand scrutiny.
I'll speak for the Igbo side, we are letting ourselves down in what should be a race to advance our agenda within #Nigeria bit.ly/3hzmXYl
Yes, it is undeniable that there was an element of ethnic chauvinism in the coalition that came together against GEJ, but to attribute his loss simply to that factor is to completely miss the lessons of 2015, and as a result, set yourself up for another failure.
Read 25 tweets
31 Dec 20
Today is the last day of 2020, a year most will agree saw years' worth of events happen. I agree with that, but draw the line at saying it was "the worst year in the last 100".

I'm sure that people who lived in 1929, 1937, 1941 and 1966 will have a lot to say about that...
For me, like for many, 2020 started with a lot of optimism.

This quickly gave way to caution when shortly after my return from holiday, I fell quite ill.

This illness ended with me getting a new accessory, my spectacles.
No sooner was I back on my feet, than #covid19 caused global panic and lockdown became a thing.

What started out as a cute holiday with @LoladeSowoolu using me as a very willing culinary guinea-pig ended with her broadcasting a video of my now corpulent self attempting to dance.
Read 11 tweets
27 Dec 20
I can't but help coming back to this thread. I owe Uncle Gbenro a bottle of cognac for it.

Let me build on it a little...

Prior to when Carlos Zappa renamed Ahaba to "Asaba", ndị Oshimịrị were quite an intertwined people who knew their kin.
As such, you could not "kpa alo" in Ahaba without a priest from Nri present.

This kinship is seen in the names. Onicha Mịrị, Onicha Ụgbo, Onicha Olona, as examples, the first being the great market town, the last two being on the west side of the great river, Ori mịrị...
Then Carlos Zappa came, and renamed Ahaba to Asaba, while TE Dennis renamed Onicha to Onitsha.

A hypothetical child, let's call him Chukwudebe Isichei, born exactly 120 years ago today in Asaba, knew himself as being Onye Oshimili, as did his cousin across the great river.
Read 14 tweets
3 Dec 20
By now it should be obvious that there is precious little willpower on the part of @NigeriaGov to do what has been asked of it and disband the obnoxious @PoliceNG unit called SARS.

They really can't #EndSARS - bit.ly/3lBUbqj
The best we are going to get is renaming SARS, shifting positions, and outright belligerence like the shame of policemen refusing to work because they felt hurt by the protests.

Then today's spectacle of the IG asking a court to stop all the panels into police brutality.
I think it's important to ask why the government seems so unable, and indeed unwilling, to stop police brutality.

I've given it a bit of thought, and for me, the answer comes down to money. #Nigeria is pretty skint.
Read 13 tweets

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