Thread by @morefluids

Every day I get asked what area of anaesthesia I want to specialise in. Answer is. I don’t know yet.

Got me reflecting on how long it took to get to this point. Someone said you must share your story. Feels like over sharing, but bear with me. Long thread!

At school my physics teacher told me. Girls don’t do science. I took these words to heart. Ditched physics, flunked chemistry & scraped through biology. Went to college & did English, Art & Communications A levels. Worked in Asda for a couple of years, then applied to Bristol..

University for a degree in Social Policy & Sociology. My GP wrote a letter to specialist referral saying how I was lying about doing A levels & was clearly fantasising. One teacher Mr Tempest believed I could do it. Supported & encouraged me. I did my degree.

Fast forward some years & I’m married living in Los Angeles pregnant with my 1st child. Working as a marketing research manager for a software firm. Early days of the Internet & companies were being bought out all the time. I got laid off with a severance package & time thinking.

My ObGyn Dr Yashari showed me what compassionate, skilled medical care was. Not working & pregnant I began to look at his job. Slowly dawned on me that I should have become a doctor. Poor careers advice & no role model, he became one. Motherhood & medicine seemed incompatible

But I kept looking at it. Thought it would not be possible as had no idea what becoming a mum would be like. In labour, I first met my anaesthesiologist who took me from the worst pain ever to no pain at all. I was mystified & decided there & then that was the job for me...

Aged 28, new mum & living 5000 miles away there was no way. I started classes at UCLA as my English qualifications were meaningless. I soon gave up & looked at the huge cost of attaining an MD. I wanted to go home to the UK....

But my second child came along & life took over. I worked freelance doing PR & writing longing to become a doctor. One day I had a fortune cookie & it said ‘Your Impossible Dream Can Become Reality’. Cheesy. But I read it & decided to do something about it...

I wrote a list of the steps & things I needed to do to get into UK medical school. It was absurd & looked impossible. No science background. Older & a mum. I set up MomMD.com to find other women in medicine. We inspired each other....

I applied to medical school. I forgot to add a mandatory qualification to my UCAS form & got flat rejections. Meanwhile I volunteered for two years @UCLA Santa Monica hospital making sure that medicine was for me. In that amazing programme my own OBGYN showed me his work...

It was brilliant. But the work of the anaesthetist fascinated me. I waited again to apply. I contacted the BMA for advice. I was told that those aged 30 are not really suited to medicine because we couldn’t manage the intellectual requirements 😂. Oh well, I applied anyway...

But life happened. My husband at the time was rushed to UCLA hospital where I knew by my colleagues not making eye contact with me that something was wrong. Eventually the ED doctor came & sat down to tell him he had a huge mass sitting on his IVC & it was probably cancer...

Our health insurance didn’t cover cancer care in that hospital, so he was sent home dosed on opiates to return the following day to a hospital within network. I drove him to a surgeon who told him it was inoperable. I drove to another doctor, the same thing...

By mid morning & grim news we arrived at the oncologist. She told him, he would get through this. He was immediately admitted to hospital as he was seriously ill. I called his mum in the UK who took the first flight there. Chemo was to begin as soon as possible...

I went home to my children devastated. Opening the door there were two fat brown envelopes from the UK inviting me to interview at Kings & Bristol medical school. The timing. The timing was bad...

I phoned them both and explained that I could not attend & withdrew my application. There was no choice. They said apply next year, we shall interview you. My husband went through chemo (RCHOP) and he got through. Life had a different perspective now...

After hesitation & discussion I applied again. I got one interview offer at Bristol. One January week I flew to the UK for my interview. Horrendously jet lagged I cried in the toilets before my interview. ‘You didn’t just fly all the way from the States for this did you?’ ‘Yes..’

I did my interview, spent a week with family & flew back. I logged on to UCAS to see my unconditional offer. As an overseas student. An unaffordable cost. Still so close but so far. I appealed. Eventually aged 34 the whole family moved home to the UK & I started a 6 year MBChB...

My first class of physics I was given a test to assess my maths. It was a disaster. They must have made a huge mistake in letting me in. I would never manage this. What on earth was I thinking moving my family miles, being broke & studying so old!!

I made it through each term. Each year. Slowly. I studied while parenting. Graduated with honours aged 40. Divorced & remarried I started F1 pregnant. That went down well 😂. Was told to give up first week into F1. Asked if I had planned my pregnancy. Told I was not competitive..

Was told that I wouldn’t ‘stand a hope in hell of getting an anaesthetics training post’! Well by this time & so many obstacles I wasn’t listening to anyone. Fourth child born in F1. Started ACCS anaesthetics in 2014. And here I am.

Of course I get ‘do you know how old you...

will be when you finish your training? Yep, I do 😂.

It’s taken 23 years to get to today & I am old enough for Saga holidays.

Not sure if this is of interest at all. But obstacles & discouragement make the journey long & winding. One step at a time... keep on going.

Diversity of background, age & experience mean we all bring something different to medicine. Rather than discouraging & judging I hope we are more supportive & open of our differences. #MyPathToMedicine

Wow! Thank you for your comments. It’s been worth it. But I think of quitting frequently. Medicine has a long way to go. I’m often compared to my more confident, white male counterparts. It’s frustrating. Those days of the traditional medic are long gone.

You don’t compare the pineapple or banana to the ubiquitous apple. Apples themselves come in many varieties. You look at a varied fruit bowl with excitement & appreciation of the differences of each fruit. We should look at people with that same appreciation #diversitymatters

Anaesthesia is such a supportive specialty as a whole. I was lucky as an F1-2 to be allocated Fiona Donald as my ES. She continues to be my mentor & has supported & encouraged me the whole way. Plus, brilliant CTs such as @edcur1, Hugo Hunton who taught & supported me. Thank you

https://twitter.com/RCoANews/status/1359231865840951297

Thread reader might help make this a quicker read! threadreaderapp.com/thread/1362891…