Thread by @wandyvirus

Sometimes I just look back and wish things had happened very differently. Do I regret choosing my Wife over my Family? No. Do I begrudge them? No. I Love my family to bits& I also know I am the least understood of them all. Will I do it again with everything I know now?

https://twitter.com/DavidHundeyin/status/1368891544309207047

Maybe. I'll want all of my family members to be at my wedding and accept the woman I love For who she is& what she stands for. It was not the case when I got married. It was alienating. And that is a pretty toxic situation that breeds other very unpleasant issues that may make or

Mar the marriage. Against all odds I went against my Father's wishes and married the "girl of my dreams". My sisters begged, fought me and didn't show up at my wedding nor did my Dad. My younger sister's husband showed up and to be honest I don't know how he pulled that off.

I respect him and my sister for that and I am eternally grateful. It must have been tough on him showing up. So many vile things were said about my wife and her family and I shut up as many people as I can. Days to the wedding my Dad was painted as this huge monster who

Could disrupt the wedding. And that carried on to the wedding day. That was far from the truth My Dad is one man I wish I can emulate he was the better man. He may have been wrong opposing my choice, but he was not a bitter man nor vindictive. He was just set in his ways.

My sisters didn't want to upset the cart and they were a lot closer to my Dad than I was. I wish the marriage had survived it. I wish i can smile and say we did it and let others know it can be done.Too many people wanted the story to be exactly as it is. In desperation the ones

Who cared the most to see that it succeeded smothered it until it choked. Two kids, and 6 years after....it crashed along with everything. When you have to fight to keep your marriage, when the toxicity permeates the couple it is almost inevitable. My wife was constantly

Afraid and didn't trust my family nor my mom who was the only person to support and show up on the day. I resented my Father-in-law's constant check-in. So while we were married she was still at "home" with her family. I became the intruder. I had no one to turn to. My mom was

Intruding so much that i had to start fighting her too. To stay away and let us be. Deep down i know they cared and wanted to prove everyone else wrong. It was choking. Imagine going to work everyday with all that going on in your head. And coming back to a home that is cold

And unfriendly. It was not long before we started resenting each other. I told my Father-in-law not to call me ever again. I wanted to stay far away from home as far as possible especially the months of Omugwo. My wife is fragile and given to emotions, I am pragmatic and blunt

Almost tactless. So it was a mad house mentally.
I am a Nigerian man and I went through hell and high water to see that my wife was accepted and respected. On the other hand there was a constant undermining of my space&person.
Did I do a lot of things wrong? Yes. Could certain

Situations been handled better? Maybe. Looking back to everything lost and all that happened, I'll say you only know after the facts. Survival mode kicks in and you want to save whatever can be salvaged.
It does not help when the person you are married to never left "home".

Twitter will have its take but ẹni kàn ló mọ̀. You can look at one side of the picture and say oh he had an affair and his wife left him or you can actually look at actions that lead to the crash. I am grateful I got married to her. I regret the affair(s).

But I am also saddened that I was left high and dry. That She left at the lowest point in my life(she had a right to) months after I had opened up about my infidelity. All these just because I went against my family to marry. We came out changed forever. I just need her happy.

And hope her family will allow her find it. Context:My Dad and her Dad were best of friends till we started Courting. That ruined their relationship as well. Before we got married there were no longer on talking terms. Then their friends took sides and then the friends of their

Friends took sides. So you can imagine.Yet when certain things started happening in the marriage, I had to keep it in and shut my trap. That is my philosophy. I was wrong. I should have reached out. I had no one...Not one person on my side of the ring.Not good mentally..not good.

NB: When i say Family i mean nuclear family members.Some of my cousins showed up. My best man was my Cousin some of my aunt also showed up. Aside from my best man & one or two others, the rest came to spite my Dad😂😂.It was their perfect clap back at him. Marriage=complexities.

NB: A Year after I got married My startup crashed & $m of investors money went down the drain. Then the battle to make The marriage work was compounded by The fight for the soul of my startup. Everything went down the drain. Yet the only place I found peace was at work. #purpose

Context: I had always known my Wife. I was at her parents wedding (my Dad was MC) and she is one of nicest persons I've ever known. She is also one of the best PR professional I know. She is good at her craft. Marriage is a different ball game entirely. She is a great mother too.

My experience is not unique. So many Nigerian men do exactly what #HarryandMeghan did. Stand by their women but as @frankofemfrank will put it: will they see it? If I could move my family to a place away from both families and vile speech I would. I did what I could. Never easy.