Fighter: I'm... dead?

Cleric: Sorry.

F: Why didn't you save me?

Paladin: We tried, gave it all we had.

F: What now, is this the afterlife?

Bard: Not quite. This is your mind.

F: You're just in my head?

C: We're as real as you need.

F: Why?

P: So you can say goodbye.
#DnD
Fighter: Wait, no. I don't want to go. I wasn't ready!

Cleric: Neither were we.

F: Can't you bring me back?

C: Maybe. But it won't save you from what happens next.

F: What's next?! The inferno? Heaven?

C: You aren't afraid of those. You know what's coming.

F: ...Nothing.
Cleric: You have enough time now, longer than you know. It moves... different now.

Fighter: I can stay here for a while?

C: You can stay where you like. In memories, in imagination, or nowhere.

F: Are you going to leave?

C: In a sense but not right now. Right now, we're here.
F: Please don't go. I don't want to be alone.

C: We can't stop it. But we will stay as long as we can. We must say goodbye eventually.

F: I guess it doesn't matter. You're not really here.

C: You misunderstand, the farewell isn't for our closure, it is for yours.
Fighter: So what happens to you? The... real you?

Cleric: We will live, until we don't. Then we will be nothing too.

F: Unless you get brought back?

C: For a time, the nothingness comes for us all eventually. You can only deny it for so long. Usually until you are forgotten.
F: How depressing.

C: Is it?

F: Well it won't matter, nothing will. It's just... empty at the end.

C: It's empty, but your life isn't. If you get a second chance, or third, you will know its importance.

F: That's a big "if."

C: Yes. And now our time is up.
F: I thought you said I had more!

C: I said you had enough.

F: But this wasn't enough! You lied!

C: Would it ever be enough?

F: ...no.

C: And so.

F: Will I see you again?

C: ...Goodbye.

F: Goodbye... I'm going to miss you all. Thank you... for everything.
Whoops, tragedy. Oh well. Follow me for more nonsense. ImageImage
If you teared up, you have to RT. Thems the rules.

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More from @snickelsox

10 Mar
Halfling: And this one we age in volcanic rock until it can vote.

Elf: You halflings certainly have a... lot of cheeses.

H: You don't even know! There's Mulshoot, Shadow Cheddar, Wormmilk, Bear, Bramblemold, Ashkiln, Angry Mozzarella, Uncheese, Underswiss, Ga-

E: Please.
#DnD
H: Oh, sorry. As a cheesesmith I can get a little carried away.

E: What's your most dangerous cheese?

H: Dangerous? Reaper Blend. It's a mix of demon's milk, fireball spells, and a... well, there are some proprietary ingredients.

E: Can I try it.

H: You'll literally die.
E: I've tried all of the elven cheeses. I think I'll be fine.

H: I've had your "cheese flavored products" and, no, you won't be. Let's start with Mycomunster.

E: Will it kill me?

H: No but it will let you commune with the universe.

E: Is it spicy?

H: To your tastes? Very.
Read 4 tweets
9 Mar
I once was tricked into arguing with someone on social media who didn't exist to "see if I cared." Don't test people.
They went through all the trouble of setting up and maintaining a fake account, just to see how I would respond. The "person" was rude and aggressive when I told them to back off my partner. This went on for weeks because my partner refused to just block this account.
They made me feel crazy and jealous even for asking to block them. And maybe I was, I don't know. But to find out they weren't even real... what a ride.
Read 9 tweets
28 Feb
DM: So wait, your warlock's patron is you?

Player: Yes.

DM: Explain.

P: I'm a being beyond their comprehension, from a dimension foreign to them, and I give powers through ancient texts and random surges of power.

DM: The handbook and dice?

P: Shhh! They might hear you!
#DnD
Cleric: Hey, what's up? You seem distracted.

Warlock: Sorry, my patron was getting in an argument. I might be getting nerfed again.

C: Nerfed? Again?

W: Yeah I only get powers when they argue a pretty trivial point. It's frustrating but I think my patron really enjoys it.
If you like meta, I do meta and more. Follow me for more or hit patreon to find it all.

Patreon.com/snickelsox
Read 4 tweets
27 Feb
Dragon: Amazing! I was looking for an animal companion!

Paladin: No, we're here to slay you.

D: Cute! I was about to start adventuring. I'll call you Major Jingles.

P: No, we're the adventurers! And I'm not an animal companion!

D: You're adorable when you're flustered!
#DnD
D: Do you want a snack?

P: No! I want your blood!

D: Oh no! My poor companion has come down with vampirism! Here, this potion will take care of it.

P: I don't want your stinkin potion!

D: Thats no way to behave! I'm going to have to boop you on the snoot with a scroll.
P: Did... did you just slap me with rolled up paper?

D: Oh, sweetie! I'm so sorry. I just... you have to listen. You don't always understand everything and I have to keep you safe. But I'll try to handle it better next time.

P: You are really serious?

D: Yes! Let's adventure!
Read 4 tweets
26 Feb
Elf: What is that you're eating.

Dwarf: Century potato. A true delicacy in my kingdom.

E: The name implies-

D: Yup! Aged a full century!

E: That's a rock.

D: To an unrefined tongue. Try some.

E: My teeth literally cannot eat rocks.

D: But iron and salt are fine?
#DnD
Elf: Those are minerals, they are tiny.

Dwarf: For your tiny teeth? Or for your tiny world?

E: Excuse me?

D: I didn't studder. I see you eating only chicken tenders and fries almost all the time. You judge my "rock" but couldn't describe more than 3 flavors. Now open up.
Elf: You're mean.

Dwarf: And you're fussy. Now open up, here comes the Choo Choo.

E: *munch*

D: Soooo...

E: It hurts and tastes like...

D: Like...

E: *swallows* ...a rock.

D: Yup!

E: I hated it.

D: Probably. But at least you tried something new. I'm proud of you.
Read 5 tweets
25 Sep 20
Totally reworked Preferred Bounty (finally) into a Prey ability. Less a blanket skill (and rip off) and a more focused and versatile one now. Glitch Hunter is pretty much finished. (Obviously more balancing required). #Retroverse Art @LluisAbadias Image
Three Subclasses are Slayer, Protean, and Shade. Think Doom, Metroid, Metal Gear Solid. A bit more complex than that and trwisted to allow lots of different play styles but that's the basic idea.
Spell Chamber pushed down in level so you get it sooner. Changed up a bit for clarity. Really hope y'all enjoy. Loads more to work on but look forward to those in TW3.
Read 4 tweets

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