Thread by @MadeleinaKay

1/ Thread on the endemic nature of sexual assault & harassment in our society.

It's taken me a few days to muster the courage to share my personal experiences, but I feel strongly that women's voices need too be heard.

The full article is here: madeleinakay.com/endemic-sexual…

2/ When I was 14, I was attacked by a naked man on a beach in Norfolk. I had gone to the beach alone to do some sketching. He chased me down, threw me around & groped me. As I ran away he stood wanking himself, screaming “Fuck me, Bitch!”.

3/ When I was campaigning, an older male activist developed an obsession with me. At events he would greet me by grabbing both my arms & kissing me on the lips. He would follow me around everywhere and try to stand or sit as close to me as possible. He put his hands on my legs...

4/ and pressed himself into me. When I told others what was happening, I was told that they couldn’t do anything because he was “alcoholic and emotionally vulnerable”. I was so terrified of him turning up, I started avoiding events where I knew he would be there.

5/ I’ve been harassed innumerable times online. The worst was an older man sending me messages that he dreamed of marrying me & having children. Who then found out my address online and started sending “gifts” and postcards to me in the post. I’ve also received rape threats.

6/ The murder of #SarahEverard & subsequent protests against gender violence and #sexualharassment have left me feeling anxious & distressed. I also feel extremely disempowered, as I have been unable to join the protests in London & local protests in #Sheffield were cancelled.

7/ I have lived in #Sheffield for 6 years & feel very safe here. I would frequently walk home at 10/11pm at night, sticking to well lit main roads and not feel any particular anxiety. But for the first time last week, I felt panic & anxiety, convinced someone was following me.

8/ Of course, this fear is statistically irrational; men are for more likely to be victims of stranger violence (1.4%) than women (0.4%), and the incidents of unknown men randomly attacking, raping and murdering a woman, although horrific, are rare.
ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulati…

9/ But given I have experienced violent sexual assault by a stranger in the past, the fear is very real. And if that fear is powerful & widespread enough to make women across the country change their behaviour to protect themselves, then the cause needs to be addressed.

10/ Women should be allowed to walk home at night without fearing for their lives. This should be a basic right in any decent society. #ReclaimTheseStreets #ReclaimtheNight #ReclaimTheStreets

11/ And women shouldn’t be victim blamed for male violence. “What was she wearing?”, “Why was she walking alone at night?”, “She shouldn’t have been breaking Covid-19 restrictions.” etc. Women should not be punished and restricted by the actions of men.

12/ The issue of #streetharassment is also major concern, with 97% of 18-24 year old women (YouGov poll) having experienced sexual harassment. It is not just a minor annoyance, it is an endemic, aggressive male behaviour which serves to control women in public places.

13/ During my tour of Europe, I experienced street harassment in all but country. The constant macho behaviour wore me down: It made me feel singled-out, isolated, intimidated, self-concious, anxious & fearful.

I wrote a blog about it at the time: facebook.com/91753659169208…

14/ I've also experienced incidents across the UK. In Sheffield, a man grabbed me on the way to an open mic. In Oxford a man sat next to me on a bench where I was sketching in a busy public place, edged closer & closer to me & touched my leg whilst supposedly rolling a spliff.

15/ Whilst out jogging, i’ve had all manner of things yelled at me by men in cars. Once a man pulled up & told me he'd seen me a few times with my dog & asked for my number, taking advantage of an opportunity when I didn’t have a large alsation to protect me.

16/ I thought this behaviour was only directed at me because I was a lone female. But with my boyfriend, I still experience incidents of men shouting about my hair/clothes as they drive/walked past. Once, a man looked me up & down then made objectifying comments to my boyfriend.

17/ In this fight, we need men to take women’s side. And men need to listen and understand the situation from women’s perspective & act to remediate the inequality. It’s not good enough to sit back and say “well I’ve never behaved like this myself” ...

18/ The men who respond with the comment “NOT ALL MEN” are contributing to the problem in the same way that the “ALL LIVES MATTER” brigade contribute to racial inequality. #NotAllMen #YesAllWomen

19/ People unfollowing female activists for speaking out about their experiences of #sexualharassment, with a Victorian-era “women should been seen & not heard” mentality are silencing those “outspoken women” & exacerbating the problem.

20/ I've been told that I shouldn’t tweet about my experiences of #streetharassment because it was just a natural way for men to behave towards attractive women. I've also been told to take it as “a compliment” & be “grateful” for the attention. I've been accused of lying.

21/ When women speak out against sexual violence and harassment, online or in public spaces, we are demanding one thing: that we are treated with equality and the respect & dignity we deserve.

22/ I honestly fear we are slipping backwards on equality; with rising race, gender & class divisions. The police now seem more concerned with protecting statues and the government’s agenda than the public. I wonder what kind of country the UK is becoming?

23/ If home is somewhere you feel safe and secure, the UK certainly doesn’t feel like a place that I can call home. But then I wonder, where in the world does feel safe for women and girls?

24/ Putting more lighting & CCTV in public places isn’t going to cut it, there needs to be education & cultural change. We need men to stop attacking women before they become criminals, not increase surveillance to catch them afterwards. Women don't appreciate being used as bait.

25/ Women needed to be provided with a safe space to talk about their experiences without shame or fear of being dismissed or accused of lying, & they need to be given a platform so that others realise the truth of what is happening in our society. #ReclaimTheseStreets

26/ NB. This is not an exhaustive account of my experiences of Sexual violence & Harassment - just what I felt able and neccessary to share to make my point. Thanks to all my trusted friends who helped me edit the article. madeleinakay.com/endemic-sexual…