Thread by @TamarPedsRheum

Today is #TransDayOfVisibility and this roughly marks the one year anniversary of when we realized that our youngest child is #Trans. It’s been a steep learning curve for us accompanied by fear & anxiety about how to best support him in a world that is not yet accepting. 🧵:
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First let’s talk about the terminology that even as a doctor I only fully learned this year. #Trans is an ☂ term: the experience of having a gender identity that is different from your sex or the gender assigned at birth, includes non-binary.
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en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transgend…

#Trans is an adjective. It is NOT a noun. You are a #transgender *person*, just like you are a smart person or a short person. merriam-webster.com/dictionary/tra…
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The easiest part of this journey so far has been supporting my kid. I realized that I just have to keep doing what I’ve been doing. Loving him unconditionally and getting out of his way enough for him to discover himself and who he wants to be.

#TransDayOfVisibility
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My biggest fear remains making sure I do my best to make the 🌎 safe for him. The first step has been making sure our 🏡 & community is safe for him. And this involved talking to the people who love and support us about him. This was not always easy.

#TransDayOfVisibility
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This week is #Passover The Haggadah that we read at the seder discusses the different ways we have to approach the story to people w/different levels of understanding. It’s told through a metaphor of 4 sons. It resonates w/how we’ve had to approach talking to friends &family.

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First, there is the “wise son” — the person who already has a good amount of knowledge about what being #Trans means. The people we told us immediately, “how can we support you and *him*.” To that rare person, I leaned on the most for support.

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Second, the “contrary son” — equally rare, the loved one who refuses to accept our kid’s identity, “*she* will just have to adjust to me.” To them we insist this not about their comfort this is about the safety of our kid. They may never understand, but w/ ❤️will come around.

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Third, the “simple son” — in my experience, most people (& lots of doctors) are in this category. They just don’t know. Their reactions were “but *she’s* so young” & “where do you think *she* got the idea from?”

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To them I try to explain that most kids develop a strong sense of gender identity around the age of 3. That gender is not “naturally” binary and that no one has to give a child the idea that they may not fit into the gender assigned at birth.

healthychildren.org/English/ages-s…

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Fourth is the “child who doesn’t know how to ask a❓” or maybe: “the child for whom a❓doesn’t even occur.” In my experience most young kids don’t blink. The kindergartners in my kid’s class are more interested in what his favorite animal is. It’s a 🦁 if you’re asking.

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