A toxic culture: Why I switched from the ‘intellect’ to ‘intelligence’? There’s a time and place for the critic. Otherwise, it’s toxic. If you people please, you’ll waste your life, others’ and the planet, for someone who cares not for this: the ‘critic’. #Justice4Australia 1/23
The critic said to me: Find highest pay job. I was a ‘permanent student’. I care ‘too much’ about Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people. Refugees. People with a disability. My partner’s from a ‘third world country’: Is using me for money. Or get his kids to Australia. 2/23
When I worked as a disability support worker, the critic asked: why do you hang around with people who slow you down? After my first episode of psychosis, I put on 30kg from meds. The critic noted: gee you’ve had a good winter. Which I later learnt meant I was fat. 3/23
In the midst of my second episode of psychosis, the critic advised: you are who you hang with. Change your career. Spend more time with more healthy and ‘successful’ people. This week the critic reduced brilliant journalists to feminist activists. Oh the joys of the critic! 4/23
I didn’t find any of this helpful. Or comforting. If fact I didn’t ask for a critic! What I needed - we’re biologically wired to have - was to feel safe, connected, accepted and a sense of love and belonging. Do you know what I love the most about devoting my life to others? 5/23
Who might be unwell, disabled, disadvantaged or from a minority group? Rarely are they ever judgmental. They’re almost never the critic. I feel safe. They’re kind, honest, down to earth and incredibly generous. I’ve met some of the most broken and misunderstood people. 6/23
They’ve shared their entire lives with me. Not what they’ve been taught to say by the critic. Not what might impress me or please the critic. Because it is not about me. Often for the first time in their lives it’s finally about them. There’s also no power imbalance. 7/23
Instead it’s a collaboration that assists them to establish stability, clarity, the ability to regulate their emotions and experience a sense of connection and belonging. It’s about safety, freedom, health and wellbeing. Crucially, it’s about truth and trust. 8/23
Had I obeyed the critic I can safely say that I wouldn’t have the privilege to be myself. Had I’d chosen highest paying job over of being a ‘permanent student’ for a fraction of my life. I can’t say I’d have the insight to write this or the confidence to speak my truth. 9/23
Very sadly, I’ve also observed, had I not completed my PhD in Psychology, the critic would not have taken me seriously and still struggle to. Being a ‘Doctor’ somehow gives you a social license to challenge the very person who should be questioned the most: the critic! 10/23
It shouldn’t be this way. However, the West is the West. Obsessed with the ‘intellect’ (see Thread: How to hold your Frog). One positive is I can assure you nearly everything we’ve been taught is untrue. There’s a time and a place for ‘the critic’; otherwise it’s toxic. 11/23
Science and technology are wonderful tools. The intellect can judge, analyse, dissect and synthesise. We can assess, prevent and manage risk. This is vital for safety and survival. However, if that’s all I did as psychologist or an academic I would be mostly unsuccessful. 12/23
When it comes to life, truth and love we cannot measure these phenomena entirely. That’s why poets, artists and musicians have so beautifully expressed the unmeasurable and deeply touched the lives and hearts of many. This all matters. Every life and voice matters. 13/23
However, the West is the West; obsessed with the ‘intellect’ (see Thread: How to hold your Frog). I’ve lost count how many people I’ve helped find their way home. I can safely say if I’d obeyed the critic I wouldn’t have done this. I am not referring to scientists here. 14/23
There are beautiful scientists who care deeply about humanity and the planet. A true scientist knows the intellect’s limits. However, not everyone knows this. Used obsessively, it’s toxic. Whether it’s a stranger, friend, family member, man or woman, is not my main focus. 15/23
My focus is there’s a time and a place for the critic; otherwise it’s toxic. The intellect, with no breaks on, fuels society’s ‘toxic culture’; we can now see this. Threats (fight, flight, freeze, collapse) to safety and sense of self across all institutions and contexts. 16/23
It took 20 years of psychology and two episodes of psychosis to appreciate this. I am now thankful to the critic: They taught me why I should follow my heart. How to become my own best friend. They set me free. Which happens to enhance the wellbeing of those around me. 17/23
The thing about the heart (aka ‘Intelligence’) is it’s non-discriminate (self-compassion: kindness, common humanity, mindfulness. See thread: ‘Why I switched from self-esteem to self-compassion?’). The trouble with the head (aka he ‘intellect’) is it’s the greatest critic. 18/23
Why? The very nature of the intellect is prejudice: division. Like a sharp knife it’s a cutting instrument. The scientist came to know a frog from dissection. He pulled it apart. Knew all it’s pieces. But then the frog was dead. However, science now has ‘ethical standards’. 19/23
Similarly, technology has nonviolent instruments (e.g. brain scans instead of dissection). However, has society caught up yet? Or are we still trying to love each other with the sharp knife: the ‘intellect’; by judging, analysing, dissecting then discarding once dead. 20/23
Have we saved the planet or we’re still try to “know” and “fix” it with a cutting instrument? Do we use ‘intelligence’ or only our ‘intellect’? My series - ‘Clarity for Integrity (Integration)’, - describes incorrect use of ‘intellect’ feeds a ‘toxic culture’: the critic. 21/23
This will make more sense if you read the thread, ‘How to hold your Frog’. To fully appreciate just how difficult it is for the ‘intellect’ to switch to ‘intelligence’ you will appreciate the thread on my: ‘Psychosis: What if psychosis is not losing touch with reality?” 22/23
Breakthrough: I wrote, Why I switched from self-esteem to self-compassion? based on Dr Kristen Neff’s research. A switch from ‘intellect’ to ‘intelligence’ extends this to include existence. See how a couple of simple ‘words’ from the ‘intellect’ obscures/enhances clarity. 23/23
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