Thread by @c_shepherds

"Forgive people in your life, even those who are not sorry for their actions. Holding on to anger only hurts you, not them." - Unknown

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Here are some coping strategies to manage your anger
1. Think of some place you always feel calm, secure and confident. You need to have a personal sanctuary.

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It could be a physical place it a picture you have at the back of your mind so that it gives you the necessary comfort that you require.

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Where can you find your sanctuary? Do you associate any sound with your sanctuary? What does your inner sanctuary feel like?
This is what you require when going through unlimited stress.

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It is sometimes very difficult to understand how to manage anger,very difficult because you are in the moment, but it's also very interesting to look at principles that will allow you stay smart & out of trouble.

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2. Taking care of yourself: Do you know that many times we don't give ourselves the necessary break?

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It is crucial that you give yourself permission to take a break when you sense that things are getting so tough or you need to plan a break in your day when you need it most.

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Once in awhile it is key that you withdraw, but what is important on a daily basis if you reside in a busy city like Lagos is that the hectic schedule you face daily must have some personal breaks & interventions

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Because if things are hectic, when you get home from work & you need to look for some form of detachment from work, you need to incorporate some downtown before you get home or when you get home.

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In taking care of yourself, look for something you can do that will help you rejuvenate.

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Relaxation techniques: it is essential that you need to learn to relax if you want to reduce your anger level.

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If stress seems to be wearing you down and out, and you are having trouble bouncing back, you may need to actually consult your doctor.

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"Anger is never without a reason but seldom with a good one. Anger doesn't solve anything, it build nothing but it can destroy everything." - Unknown

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However for those who encounter day-to-day stressors, here are some quick ways to lower your stress level quickly:
a. Deep Breathing: this means you get to loosen whatever you are wearing...

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...close your eyes, and mentally relax and take 10 or more deep breaths. Each time you exhale, you need to count silently, this should relax you when you are done.

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b. Music: Find the type of music that relaxes you.
c. Laughter: it is a good medicine. A good belly laugh can lower blood pressure, slow down adrenaline and reverse the stomach acid that comes with negative responses.

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All you need is a few moments to collect your thoughts, don’t say anything, and allow others involved in the situation to do the same.

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d. Exercises: Physical activity can help reduce the stress that will cause you to be angry. If you feel your anger escalating, go for a brisk walk or run, or spend some time doing some other enjoyable physical activities.
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Getting some exercises is very key, and once you are calm you can express yourself better. As soon as you are thinking clearly, express your frustration in an assertive but non-confrontational way.

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e. Take a Time Out: Time out ain't just for kids. Get yourself short breaks during the time of the day that tends to be stressful.

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f. Resilience: Every stressful experience that you have prepares you to deal with one in the future. The more resilient you become, the more of an impact each of these events have on your mind & body.

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Many of us go to great lengths to avoid stress, and although avoidance initially feels like we are doing alright, the reality is that stressful things come up in our lives all the time.

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The better we become at handling them, the more resilient we become and the healthier we can be.

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Each stressful experience leads us into a cycle of confusion and anguish. If we stay with those feelings in an attempt to minimize the stress the impact will have on our lives, things usually get worse

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But if we make a decision to deal with those circumstances by problem-solving & adapting, we develop resilience & can enjoy life more & be more careful.

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Always identify possible solutions instead of focusing on what makes you mad, work on resolving the issue at hand.

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Always remind yourself that anger won't fix anything and might only make it worse.

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If you know that you have increased tension, then, describe the problem. Be respectful & specific at all times.

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Don't hold a grudge with your partner.Forgiveness is a very powerful tool if you allow anger &other negative feelings to crowd out positive feelings that you have for your spouse, relative, colleague...

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...you might find yourself swallowed up by your own bitterness or sense of injustice.

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If you can forgive someone who angered you, you might both learn from the situation and even strengthen your relationship.

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To take off that fuse or buttoned-up emotion, then you have to use humor to release tension.

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You use humor to help you face what is making you angry and possibly any unrealistic expectations you have for how things should go.

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Understand how to practice relaxation: When your temper flairs, you need to put some relaxation skills to work or repeat a calming word or phrase

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You can also keep journals or pick up yoga, whatever it takes for you to relax please do it.

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There is nothing that supersedes knowing hen to solicit help. Learning to control anger is a challenge for everyone at times but if you seek help for anger issues...
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... if your anger seems out of control & causes you to do things that you regret or that will make you hurt those around you, then it is time to seek help.

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Communication Tips & Tricks:
1. Asking Good Questions: Communicating can help you minimize angry situations & manage your own anger. If you can express yourself well & listen well to others, you will reduce miscommunication.

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If you understand how to communicate with others, you can express your anger in an assertive and healthy way.

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Two of the most basic elements of good communication are asking questions & listening to others.

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There are two kinds of questions: closed questions & opened questions.

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Closed questions are those that can be answered by either yes or no, or with a specific bit of data such as your name or date of birth.

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These questions restrict our responses and give us little opportunity to develop our thoughts before answering. As a result, these questions require very little effort on either person's part.

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They can be used intentionally or unintentionally as a way to shut down or close a conversation.

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On the other hand, open questions encourage people to talk. The questions are framed so they cannot be answered with a simple yes or no because you are digging deep.

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