Thread by @iowahawkblog

The problem with that bobcat body slam video: unreasonable expectations by women who think they deserve a man who will body slam a bobcat for them, and men who think they deserve a woman worth body slamming a bobcat for

I mean I've protected my wife from a few rodents and garter snakes and flying insects, but whether she crosses the bobcat threshold remains a strictly empirical question

I will say this: if a bobcat ever attacks my wife in the driveway, I will spring into action of some sort

It's another one of those days that I'm happy my wife has never been on Twitter

The problem with our society is that we no longer appreciate the lovable coward

forget Bobcat Guy, THIS is the dude who is really contributing to my wife's unreasonable expectations

Wife: why can't you buy me a 46 room French chateau, renovate the whole thing by yourself while beekeeping and cultivating a massive garden from which you cook me daily Michelin 3 star dinners?

Me*: you're lucky I pay for your cable TV and bobcat repellent

*in my head anyway

Let's face it, I am the only honest man on the internet

In conclusion: rest easy Diogenes, your long search is over