Thread by @cicerfics

Okay, I have ANOTHER modern!wangxian a/b/o brainworm I must yell about!

I really want! An a/b/o AU! Where LWJ just decides to get artificially inseminated!

He knows he wants a baby, but he doesn't think a relationship is in the cards for him.

And, like. Maybe his parents were an A/O pair. And their relationship was super dysfunctional and unhealthy. So LWJ looks at marriage like...

Hm. I think Not. 😑

So he just buys some sperm, like a Strong Independent Omega Who Don't Need No Alpha. And he gets himself knocked up.

(Sidenote: I am sure LQR FREAKS when he hears about this plan, and objects VERY strenuously!)

(But by the time A-Yuan comes along, he's fully on board. In fact, he has totally forgotten that he was ever opposed to A-Yuan's existence.

Because, y'know. His grandbaby is the BEST grandbaby in the entire world. You WISH your grandbaby was as cute as his. Etc.)

So I am thinking that LWJ makes friends with JYL, who is also expecting her first baby. They bond over being first-time parents. They enroll in Lamaze classes together and swap tips about cloth-diapering. They have playdates. They're buddies!

And I am thinking that when A-Yuan is about 6-7 months old, WWX moves into town. He's got a little nephew now, so he wants to live right next to JYL! He plans to be 110% involved in A-Ling's life!

Of course, wangxian meet through JYL.

And of course, WWX is positively ENRAPTURED with both LWJ and A-Yuan. He thinks they're both the cutest and coolest people EVER.

A-Yuan is perfect, incredible, show-stopping, amazing, never-been-done-before, one-of-a-kind, etc.

And LWJ is, uh.

Well, WWX is nursing a not-so-small crush.

But beyond that, he just thinks LWJ is super neat and he thinks it's incredibly badass that LWJ went the single parent route. He hypes LWJ up a whole bunch and says how awesome that is.

So WWX just starts...hanging around. A lot.

Like, he tells himself that he's just trying to Make Friends With His Sister's Bestie. And maybe he's just trying to Help Out a Single Parent Who's Going It Alone.

But he's highkey auditioning for the role of LWJ's Husband and A-Yuan's Second Dad.

He probably tells himself that he is simply Being Neighborly to the nice single parent with a tiny baby. Just casually offering to run errands for LWJ, or come over and clean out his raingutters!

He will not accept payment for these neighborly gestures, no matter how many times LWJ offers. But he WILL hold A-Yuan and coo over him for thirty minutes straight. That's payment enough!

And I think LWJ probably does not INTEND to accept any help at first.

He said he was doing this parenting thing all by himself, so he's gonna do it by himself! He's a Strong Independent Omega Who Don't Need No Alpha!

But there does come a day when everything has gone to hell.

A-Yuan is teething. He's been awake (and miserable) for most of the last 36 hours. One of the bunnies is mildly ill and LWJ has been ministering to her, too.

He knocked over a glass of orange juice and stained the carpet, and he hasn't even had five spare minutes to clean it up. The sink is backed up. One of the toilets is running. Everything is just a mess.

LWJ prepares to swallow his pride and beg his brother for help.

LXC would GLADLY help, of course! He's been sitting on his hands and NOT helping so far. But only because LWJ has made such a point of Doing Everything Himself!

LWJ has been very clingy with the baby too.

He's fine with visitors, but he's super reluctant to let anyone actually babysit.

NMJ and LXC are both DYING to have A-Yuan all to themselves for a whole afternoon. But so far, LWJ has rebuffed their offers. He's a nervous first-time parent, so supervised visits ONLY.

LXC is trying to Respect Boundaries.

But he would rush over to LWJ's house, at the drop of a hat, to help with the baby or any household tasks that need doing. LWJ knows that.

So he's bracing himself to call his brother and ask him to come over.

But just at that moment, WWX texts. He has taken to requesting daily pictures of A-Yuan (and sometimes the bunnies).

LWJ humors him. Secretly he's very happy to have a chance to show off his adorable baby, so he always sends pictures whenever WWX asks for them.

But today is not a good day.

It's 1pm and LWJ is still in his PJs. A-Yuan is crying and his face is all swollen from teething. The bunnies are molting and they look super raggedy. The house is a mess.

There is literally nothing about his surroundings that LWJ is willing to photograph.

So he tells WWX that. WWX eventually gets LWJ to admit that everything is sort of a disaster at his house right now.

And WWX is like, "COOL COOL COOL. I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES."

He NYOOMS over to LWJ's house with a toolbox (and a bottle of baby Tylenol for A-Yuan, and a chocolate bar for LWJ).

And he insists on fixing the garbage disposal and the toilet, and scrubbing the stained carpet, and dropping the bunny off for her vet appointment.

He's very sweet with A-Yuan (who is still cranky and restless and not his usual Gerber-baby self). He's extremely nice to LWJ (who is devastatingly aware that he's wearing stained PJs and his hair is a disaster).

He stubbornly refuses to take ANY money for fixing everything.

And I do think that LWJ was aware, before this point, that he had a tiny crush on WWX.

But at this point, he's like

After he had A-Yuan, he concluded that he had officially destroyed his prospects for a romantic relationship. Because there's that old stereotype that nobody wants an omega who's a single parent.

And LWJ was fine with that!

For his entire LIFE, he refused to give alphas the time of day. People tried to shoot their shot with him, and he shut them down so hard. He froze them out and chased them off. No, he does NOT want to "grab a coffee" with you, BRIAN.

So when A-Yuan comes along, LWJ is like, "Nobody will see me as a romantic prospect now, and THAT'S PERFEFCT. I can finally go about my business in peace, without getting hit on. 🙌"

Except. Now. He has feelings for WWX.

And for the first time in 28 years of existence, he WISHES an alpha would invite him to get coffee. :/

...And because ya girl has a lactation kink, I do want there to be a scene where, like. WWX has just finished fixing the garbage disposal and LWJ slips off to feed A-Yuan.

WWX blunders into the room without warning, like, "GREAT NEWS, the sink is all fixed!"

And accidentally catches a glimpse of LWJ feeding the baby.

😳😳😳

WWX tries very hard to play it cool, but inside, he is SCREAMING. Because he DID NOT KNOW that this would be a turn-on for him, but OOPS, OOPS, IT SURE IS.

He has learned something about himself today. How fun.

He's trying to help his sister's best friend, the parent of a tiny adorable baby, and now he's hornier than he's ever been in his life. How marvelous.

He probably flees the house pretty soon after that.

LWJ thinks WWX is grossed out, turned off, and reminded why single parents are a bad romantic prospect. :(

Meanwhile, WWX spends fifteen minutes willing away his boner. Then he calls JYL in a panic and says, "Okay, I need to be disowned. I'm a pervert. I'm disgusting."

"I'm cancelling myself. I cannot be allowed in polite society. I'm fleeing into the woods to live in a log cabin. Goodbye. I will miss you. Please raise A-Ling well. 😭"

It takes JYL a while to talk him down and pry the truth out of him.

Of course, WWX refuses to TELL her, "I saw LWJ nursing his baby and it made me super horny and I want to marry him and fuck about five more babies into him."

But he does shamefacedly admit that his feelings for LWJ are not exactly 100% pure and wholesome. And also, he loves A-Yuan very much and he would be very happy to help raise him. It would be a privilege to be A-Yuan's second parent!

JYL is, of course, delighted!

And I like to think that she swings into action and gets these two dummies together.

God knows they wouldn't manage it themselves. Not in a timely manner, anyway. A-Yuan would be finishing high school by the time they got their shit together.

But if JYL plays matchmaker, I think it could work out! She can do anything she puts her mind to, and she would really like her little brother and best friend to kiss-kiss-fall-in-love.

Anyway. They do get married, and they give A-Yuan lots of little brother and sisters.

And LWJ is mildly chagrined that he has to thoroughly (and publicly) reverse his position on marriage and alphas, but OH WELL.

...Yeah, that's about as far as I can take that particular brainworm.

Am I done yelling about O!LWJ?

I will probably be back later with more wangxian a/b/o brainworms. 😔

Please let me know if there is anything in particular you would like me to scream about!