Young women over an SMV of 5 are sitting on winning lottery ticket and have NO idea
If they can just make it to 25 w/o getting fat, getting tattoos, being masculine, having tons of sex, abortions, or wrapping their identity around a “career” they can literally have it ALL...
-Children
-Full time focus herself and them
-Plan vacations and family events
-Build the family’s social circle and impact
-Create a beautiful home
-Not worry about bills or survival
-Make a FAMILY
-Take it multigenerational
Instead they want to believe the lie that there’s something more meaningful to do with their lives besides motherhood
Or that they can do both well
(When every actual mother disagrees)
They’re fear-mongered into believing that being a wife and mother is slavery, or a waste
Uncomfortable truth: Women are not children, but to a man, a woman has more in common with a child than she does with a man
That is to say, the strategies & tactics he uses when working with children are going to produce better results with a woman than those he'd use with a man
She'll say "men and women are both just human beings" in a (near constant) effort to impress upon him her value beyond sex, but it's a moot point in the context of a relationship because it's about about what WORKS and what doesn't
And here's what works:
- Being very aware of her emotional condition
- Withholding certain information that will make her feel deeply unsafe
- Demonstrating that we have thought about her deeply and anticipated things that she may not have thought of
The first mindf*ck we wrestle with when sh*t hits the fan is that for men, the answer to better relationships cannot be found by looking at the relationship, or even in looking at the person we’re with
Fact is that all our relationship issues have very little to do with either
Understanding that both women and children are naturally reflective beings, and their behavior is an outgrowth of our own, takes a while to settle in, to really get
Boys of the past 3 generations weren’t told we have that power. Conspiracy or not, this has been a cancer for us
Nature punishes men who look for anything in their relationships. That type of seeking and needing comes from childhood lack, and both women and children are scared by it
Fact is, no one cares what we need. No one owes us anything. Relationships aren’t “for” us (as receivers)
It has boys believing deep down that they're somehow bad people because they're driven by a desire for sex instead of what they're SUPPOSED to want (a long term relationship where they get deeply involved in her all of her emotions)
It needs to be widely understood that this shaming is what actually CREATES metoo men. Natural alphas and those with strong fathers will resist and be unashamed (and reap the rewards), but the majority of boys will listen to her words & believe they have something to hide
They go underground and get covert in their behavior, hide their sexual motives, feign interest in who she is as a person (which ironically leaves no room for them to actually connect with her). If any masculinity is toxic it's the "fake personality covering sexual frustration"
can be a more useful question than “what do you want from me?”
This forces them to define what they think they want, and hopefully be confronted with what is and is not a realistic expectation
As men we’re not defined by our gender or our hormones (we obv all contain both feminine and masculine), but we need to make our women aware of the trade offs involved when we occupying our natural pole
However, we also can’t expect her to grasp it (99% of women aren’t aware
of how their attraction actually works). So we have to master reading her emotions
What does she need right now (regardless of what she says she needs)?
Men innately believe that we are able to alter our environment, circumstances, and situation through action
So we are concerned with the root causes of things, and communication is our tool to find out what to DO
Women don't have this underlying belief. Life happens TO them...
... so they are concerned not with root causes, but with effects
Communication is their tool to connect with others ABOUT those effects, to examine them, and exist more fully within them, not necessarily to understand them or find meaning in them
Men seek resolution in communication, the point is to end the interaction.
Women seek an extension of the connection they get from communication, ending it is the worst thing you can do