“Research” 🙄
Responses to the original post are not invited, by the way
The problem with these social media clickbait polls is that “Everyone has an opinion” does not always translate to “Other people care about your opinion”.

Also, “tryna” is cringeworthy exactly 100% of the time.
My system for buying bananas hasn’t changed in three decades: you buy some yellow, some greenish yellow, and some deep green ones so you don’t have to buy more bananas in three days. THE PROBLEM IS THAT THERE ARE ALMOST NEVER GREEN BANANAS ON THE SHELVES
MY WIFE: “When you buy bananas, be sure to buy some of each.”

ME, AT GROCERY STORE: (sees 200 bananas, all of which are the exact same shade of yellow with the faintest hint of green)

• • •

Missing some Tweet in this thread? You can try to force a refresh

Keep Current with Dreamweasel

Dreamweasel Profile picture

Stay in touch and get notified when new unrolls are available from this author!

Read all threads

This Thread may be Removed Anytime!


Twitter may remove this content at anytime! Save it as PDF for later use!

Try unrolling a thread yourself!

how to unroll video
  1. Follow @ThreadReaderApp to mention us!

  2. From a Twitter thread mention us with a keyword "unroll"
@threadreaderapp unroll

Practice here first or read more on our help page!

More from @Dreamweasel

26 Apr
We’ve been over this. The people who comprise the Republican base are not exactly strong candidates for MENSA.
Once a talking point takes hold, no explanation is sufficient to un-clench it from the lexicon of Things the GOP Will Always Believe.

“If you’re explaining, you’re losing”, paved the way for a Party whose entire notion of virtue could be broken down into “winning” vs. “losing”.
The takeaway is that there is no real downside to the GOP strategy of ATTACK ATTACK ATTACK, because neither they nor their base are constrained by honesty or critical thinking.

Trump is gone (for) now, but there is no effort whatsoever from his Party to evolve beyond him.
Read 5 tweets
22 Apr
“DEBATE ME, YOU COWARD!” is always the sign of a serious thinker
As always, only reason the dogmatists want public “debate” is to lend unearned legitimacy to their views by rattling their opponents in public.

MTG is less a public servant than a 24/7 shitposter, so any publicity she gets is a net gain for her.
Read 4 tweets
18 Apr
Yes, we all remember President Obama with his incendiary and notoriously divisive rhetoric, particularly when it came to race
For the record, I’m giving you all credit for recognizing the intrinsic absurdity of my premise without having to explain my sarcasm
Because if there’s one thing that never happens on Twitter, it’s deliberately absurd statements being taken 100% at face value
Read 4 tweets
14 Apr
I’m thinking about writing a science-fiction screenplay where a cynical TV commentator who reliably repeats white-supremacist talking points is replaced with a bona fide white supremacist who believes every word he says and NOBODY NOTICES THE DIFFERENCE BECAUSE IT DOES NOT MATTER
ALIEN 1: There is conservative commentator Tucker Carlson; let’s scramble his brains to make him a bona fide racist

ALIEN 2: Wasn’t he already—

ALIEN 1: No, it was just for ratings


CARLSON: We have too many immigrants

FOX VIEWERS: Something seems...not at all different
Read 4 tweets
9 Apr
But is he up to the responsibility of making 60% of the country furious every day for four years
We’re never gonna see a Republican like Bush, McCain, or Romney again. The GOP might as well replace their goddamned elephant with an actual poop-flinging monkey.

- Don’t know jack about shit
- Make headlines for boldly ignorant sloganeering and/or smug putdowns
- “How triggered are the liberals” is primary measure of success
- Defended by wave after wave of Whataboutism on Fox News et. al
Read 4 tweets
6 Apr
1. Why was the “DRAKE” caption on his forehead needed; the tattoo was perfectly recognizable without it

2. Was Drake recently in an accident where he had a MEMENTO-style memory affliction

3. Was Drake cancelled for some reason
4. Did somebody who was desperate to hide their Drake tattoo imagine an enormous snail in its place and think “Eureka; the perfect crime!”

5. Who in history has ever had a giant snail tattooed on their body

6. Why not stamp “SNAIL” on its forehead so we don’t get the wrong idea
Read 4 tweets

Did Thread Reader help you today?

Support us! We are indie developers!

This site is made by just two indie developers on a laptop doing marketing, support and development! Read more about the story.

Become a Premium Member ($3/month or $30/year) and get exclusive features!

Become Premium

Too expensive? Make a small donation by buying us coffee ($5) or help with server cost ($10)

Donate via Paypal Become our Patreon

Thank you for your support!

Follow Us on Twitter!