The history of the world is one in which men have been taught to leverage our dominance over women – power granted simply by virtue of our being male. /1
For my father’s generation, men didn’t learn to negotiate as equals in their relationships because they controlled the economic power in the family. Men didn’t learn to deal with the daily uncertainty of not knowing because they were free to declare how things should be. /2
Whether we openly leverage it, this legacy of privilege has been handed down to us. Accordingly, developing our more nuanced relational capacities faltered or failed utterly, preempted by masculinity's habitual assertions of dominance. /3
And even when we attempt to navigate the complexities of equity in our romantic relationships with women, always behind the carrot lurks the stick of our power as men. /4
It takes only the slightest bit of empathy to imagine the rage this would create for us were our positions with women reversed. /5
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How we are encouraged to think about Billionaires in America. --> Last time I checked, billionaires have feelings too. When you tax a billionaire, how do you think they feel? How do you think it feels to get taxed when you’re a billionaire? You just think about that. /1
Some people think it’s a good idea to tax billionaires. Well let me tell you something. If we tax billionaires we might as well just go ahead and tax ourselves. Keep your hands off my billionaires! /2
Also, what if the other Russian billionaires Make fun of our American billionaires if they have to pay taxes? Do we want Russian billionaires making fun of our American billionaires? I’m sorry but I can’t live that way. /3
Gun violence by police and mass shootings are both rooted in our dominance-based culture of masculinity which, beginning at birth, strips boys and men of expression/connection leaving dominance as the only way to validate our masculinity. /1 medium.com/remaking-manho…
Our dominant culture of masculinity, also called man box culture (a term based on the pioneering work of Paul Kivel and @TonyPorterACTM ), enforces a performance of masculinity that has zero upper limits on the assertion of male dominance. /2
@TonyPorterACTM Man box culture is a bullying, hierarchical power structure. It trains boys and men to accept bullying from those above them and to dish abuse out to those below (or lose status increasing the number above us.) Victimize others or be victimized are our options. /3
THREAD: Gun rights folks clamor for us to individualize gun violence, to pin it on individual shooters' mental illness. NO. Our larger culture is at fault. Our dominance-based culture of masculinity's obsession with guns, violence and power over others is the "illness." /1
Mass gun violence is an extreme expression of dominance-based masculine culture, which trains boys that power over others is the ultimate expression of masculinity. Gun violence is dominance culture being expressed. It's disconnected young men doing what they've been taught. /2
The obsessive political movement which holds gun rights as the ultimate expression of manhood, promotes a version of masculinity which is utterly lost in individualism, dominance, disconnection and shadow. /3
THREAD: Atlanta mass murderer Robert Aaron Long is one of us. Because we’re raised in man box culture, all men contain fragments of masculinity extremists’ world views. His beliefs are not separate from ours, they are just more extreme. remakingmanhood.medium.com/were-all-incel… /1
Lately, I’ve been writing about Incels. The more I consider them, the more I realize they are not so far removed from the rest of us. The incel world view arises from the roots of the same tree, our larger culture of masculinity, where all our ideas about manhood originate. /2
Mr. Long's supposed "sex addiction" narrative is one example of the victimhood narrative which is central to MRA, INCEL and MGTOWs; to all masculinity extremists' world views. "Look what you made me do." /3
THREAD: The Atlanta shooter is one more example of the direct correlation between white supremacists and male supremacists. These populations feed into and recruit each other's members. You can not be one without being the other. medium.com/remaking-manho…
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In our dominance-based man box culture of masculinity, we teach boys a narrow and limited set of rules for being a man. The primary message man box culture teaches boys is “women are less.” We do this by policing boys’ and men’s masculinity via the denigration of the feminine. /2
The bullying and policing of boys and men begins shortly after infancy and goes on continually. "What are you, a girl? What are you, a sissy?" This denigration of the feminine takes place not weekly or daily, but hourly, designed to continually police us back into the box. /3
Until men aggressively police other men's violent words and deeds towards women and girls, we will continue to be collectively responsible for the billions of violent sins committed daily.
In the The U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention reports that “Approximately 1 in 5 (21.3% or an estimated 25.5 million) women in the U.S. reported completed or attempted rape at some point in their lifetime.” /1
Given that most sexual assaults and rapes go unreported these estimates are likely very low. /2