Thread by @SaeedRizvan

Criticising #Malala or longing for #MiaKhalifa? Men's response to #MalalaOnMarriage

A long thread containing inferences from Twitter data. 1/n

To me what Malala said about marriage can be contested on cultural and religious grounds but as an adult human being it’s her ultimate right to make choices for her personal relationship.
I collected data against trends #Malala & #MiaKhalifa 2/n

propagated since Malala’s interview. I categorized the Twitter users into 4 categories based on their comments abt Malala. The most worrisome thing was to see a reflection of sexual frustrations, rape inclination and child abuse tendencies among many young men Twitter users. 3/n

Before sharing the categorization of responses, I want to share my understanding of Malala’s comment. She did emphasize on partnership, but the tone seemed more like avoiding potential toxicity/cultural restrictions related to marriage instead of zealously advocating for 4/n

partnership. Her last comments in the same interview strengthen my perception as they reflect the fluidity of her positioning and cognitive contestations. It seems natural thought process that an individual goes through at earlier stages of adult life. 5/n

Please see last para of her interview …“Even until my second year of university,” she continues, “I just thought, ‘I’m never going to get married, never going to have kids – just going to do my work. I’m going to be happy and live with my family forever.’” She turns to me, 6/n

full of revelation. “I didn’t realise that you’re not the same person all the time. You change as well and you’re growing.”

Categories of users who talked about Malala’s statement:

1) People with Consensual Disability
I use this term “Consensual Disability” for 7/n

the people who can’t understand the concept of consent. For them a girl’s consensual relationship with her partner means she has “consented” to all men of the world. Unfortunately, most of Pakistani men fall in this category. Malala said that partnership with a person is 8/n

okay without marriage but what the people with Consensual Disability listened “Malala is willing to have sex with anyone and she wants to become a porn star”. Many users also shared a doctored picture where five black men (with prominent bulge in their underwear) 9/n

lustfully looking at a young girl whose face was replaced with Malala’s. This doctored image reflect these men’s sexual fantasies that hint towards child sexual abuse and gang rape culture. Similarly some incels used pic of dogs to talk abt "partnership". 10/n

In psychological terms, users who are abusing Malala in name of denouncing Zina are actually using Sublimation. The urges & behaviours whose expression is disliked at social level are expressed in a socially acceptable way. It is socially unacceptable to talk about sexual 11/n

fantasies. One option is to take refuge in a socially acceptable behaviour that could be criticising illegal sexual relations. This might be the case with Twitter users who bashed Malala by propagating Mia Khalifa and other porno stuff. 12/n

2) Conspiracy Theorists
The people who are configured with the message “Every non-Muslim in the world is conspiring against Islam and Pakistan”. When they see any Pakistani (especially woman who comments on political/social issues) getting respect from West or praised by 13/n

global media, they start the mantra of conspiracy against Pakistan and Islam. Many people had been saying that Malala was planted by the West. Now they have got the proof, as they claim. 14/n

3) People with Delusion of Grandeur
These are people who think they are global celebrities so they deserved more fame and global stature than Malala. Their delusional thinking guide them to express inner insecurities by making cheap comments in the 15/n

name of criticism. In rest of categories I only shared the tweets without user names but for this I am sharing an example. 16/n

4) The Critiques
The ones who did not like Malala’s comment on marriage. They raised their concerns and shared own point of view without passing moral judgements & declaring Malala a whore. This was the group who generated bigger “conversational networks”. The percentage of 17/n

reply/reply mention/quote was 12% among this group. The percentage for the same edge type was 5% in #MiaKhalifa group. 18/n

A question is whether there would be the same rage if a man had expressed such thoughts? I have heard many men proudly quoting (or misquoting) a famous political personality's saying "If milk is available from market then what's the point to have own buffalo at home". 19/n

Notably this statement has no comparison to Malala's. Despite sexism I never saw any outrage or even slightest discomfort against this statement.
Everyone has right to criticise as long as it's not abuse & character assassination of the person being criticised. 20/n

To me an important thing that could have been capitalised on was Malala’s statement on headscarf. She said, “when we follow our traditional dress, we’re considered to be oppressed, or voiceless, or living under patriarchy. I want to tell everyone that you 21/n

can have your own voice within your culture, and you can have equality in your culture.”
This statement beautifully challenges western xenophia and presents an ethnocentric cultural view of Pakistani society to the western world. n/n