MARJORIE TAYLOR GREENE: Next I'm going to a wax museum to learn why I shouldn't eat the candles on top of the cake. They are not candy y'all.
MARJORIE TAYLOR GREENE: Then I'm gonna go to the Van Gogh Museum cause I parked my mini-van this AM and we can't find it anywhere.
MARJORIE TAYLOR GREENE: Next week I'm visiting the American Museum of Natural History. We have all been reading too much unnatural history y'all. We need to get healthier history. Without all the toxins.
MARJORIE TAYLOR GREENE: My polyamorous tantric-sex guru says I should also visit something called the Bangkok Museum, but I'm not sure he means the one in Thailand.
MARJORIE TAYLOR GREENE: Then I am gonna go to the Getty Museum, cause you can never get enough Rush.
MARJORIE TAYLOR GREENE: And then lastly I am doing the so called 9/11 Memorial & Museum.

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More from @jeremynewberger

6 Jun
SEAN SPICER: The former President did not pee or poo himself last night. His pants were stylishly wrinkled and his lower gut is not a fupa. He looked dry, handsome, and stylish. PERIOD!
MARK MEADOWS: We are strongly investigating a credible plot, by Italy, to give President Trump a pair of pants with the front in the back and the back in the front, as a way to thwart his chances of reelection. Fashion terrorism. We believe we have key evidence.
KAYLEIGH MCENANY: If you notice, the media will photograph the Bidens out on their bicycles, but President Trump models new and exciting pants, that retain rain water, which is good for the environment, the left pretends to care so much about, and they immediately go negative.
Read 12 tweets
5 Jun
I’m at a...... mall.
Forever 21 has a busted air conditioner and my daughter has about 8 items to try on. I am like one of those suffocating Mars people in Total Recall when the oxygen gets turned off.
Hollister has a deal, buy one way overpriced item, get one item for slightly less than that. Oh joy.
Read 4 tweets
4 Mar
And now an MTG musical number.
MARJORIE:
They think that a gal, who thinks differently,
Can’t get things done, but I’m insistent see.
Tho, I may not sit on any committee.
I’m still allowed in, I've got an ID,
So QAnon gals, like me on TV,
Get tons of attention, and all for free!
CHORUS:
Let’s all go and adjourn,
Nancy’s buns start to burn.
Obstruct and annoy,
Gum the works, boy oh boy!
How much time on Fox News can I earn?
MARJORIE:
To think I used to be an activist,
Chasing school shooting victims, how they were pissed.
And all the big tragedies I dismissed,
Lasers fired by Galactic Globalists.
I’m an elected insurrectionist,
And my support in the House is polyamorous.
Read 7 tweets
18 Feb
There once was a Senator named Ted,
He left his poor Texas for dead.
He abandoned his rubes,
Put the kids in some tubes,
And tanned his man boobs instead.
There once was a man in Cancun,
His vacation, a wee bit too soon,
While his state boils tap water,
He puts in a room service order,
And now shamefully hides in his room.
There once was man from Texas,
Who went on Twitter to cure his erections,
After inciting a riot,
He vacationed real quiet,
And is off planning his next insurrections.
Read 4 tweets
4 Feb
Hey @RepMTG this is after American Airlines Flight 77 hit the Pentagon on 9/11. 184 people killed. The only thing so called about it is your expertise.
And these sweet faces are the faces of actual victims of a terrible school shooting at the Sandy Hook Elementary School. Not staged. Not fake. Carried out by someone who should never have had a gun. May their memories be a blessing forever and always.
And these beautiful faces are the victims of the
Stoneman Douglas High School shooting in Parkland, FL. Also not fake. Not staged. These young people are not actors. They are losses that grieving families will never get back. You have given those families more pain.
Read 5 tweets

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