Sometimes I ask myself if I have become that bitter Full Professor. Stupid academic crap gets on my nerves and my tolerance for games is gone.
I think I came into academia kind and trusting, and I have gotten beat up. 1/
If academia was my spouse, I would have kicked that joker to the curb YEARS ago. No person should be in a relationship with someone who says one thing and does another. Academia has been a gaslighter. 2/
Academia attracts some really unethical folks. I wasn’t ready for that. I’m talking about folks who profess morals and values as they practice racism, sexism, and ageism.
Guess what though? Nobody calls it out. Academia is a place where there aren’t always real rules. 3/
If there are rules, they may not be followed. A lot of people want to get paid, but they are terrible leaders. You have folks making $200K+ who wouldn’t even be good managers at a fast food restaurant. 4/
Academia has not lived up to the pedestal I put it on. I guess I shouldn’t have put it on a pedestal in the first place though.
I am a full professor who expected more & better. I thought that when I got to this place there would be a stronger community of brave people. 5/
Being a full professor is a status symbol for many. Get more awards and be more titles. Pump yourself up.
Y’all that’s not me. This rank isn’t fulfilling just because it’s a title. If I’m not changing lives, this rank and title means nothing to me. 6/6 #realtalk
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Today I will tell you how POC/WOC leaders can be harmed in a system even if they are in charge. 1/
The Withholders
People who work around and for you can keep information from you that you need to do your job well. They make you have to learn info from scratch. It wastes your time and increases the likelihood you won’t succeed. 2/
Two-faced allies
People say one thing to you because you are the boss and another behind your back. They don’t know which way the culture is moving so they stay in the middle. They hurt and help at the same time. 3/
This morning I pray for the incoming dean in my org.
I can’t tell you the number of times I have been up at this hour crying and crying out to God because of bad situations in this org. Today I am up for a good reason. 1/
I pray that in the midst of administrative chaos, she will find rest. She will be surrounded by wise counsel and people who want success for her as much as she wants success for herself. 2/
I pray that people in this larger organization will educate themselves about intersectionality and what it means. May they remain humble as they are supervised by a Black women & may they seek understanding in new ways that allow them to grow. 3/
Organizations can be dangerous places for #BIPOC bc no matter how intense the organizational violence is against them, there are not policies and ways of doing business that will address issues facing the BIPOC.
This means that professional deaths occur as people watch. 1/
Orgs that are violent against #BIPOC are full of folks who either do nothing or ask permission do something.
If someone was being beaten within an inch of their lives, why wouldn’t a person DO something?
What makes people not DO something against workplace violence? 2/
Systemic oppression continues when folks wait for someone to be the 1st to address organizational violence, but what happens if no one has courage?
That was the day that I knew I couldn’t go on like that. I realized that my job was not sustainable without larger organization change. I could not fight that battle 4 yrs more feeling attacked all the time.
Something in me was snuffed out that day & I never recovered.
It was public humiliation after humiliation with no protection.
No one I know has been embarrassed like that even when they deserved to be.
Hit after hit after hit for years.
People have no idea the toll that took on me, my mind, and my family.