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Katie Profile picture
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2 Aug, 4 tweets, 1 min read
Walking home from a catsit where I couldn’t find the bin, so I’m jauntily dangling a poo-bag filled with dessicated cat turd as a little accessory, and thinking how hilarious it could be if someone decided to mug me at this very moment
Surprise, bitch! Cat turds in your eyes! Enjoy that toxoplasmosis, sucker!
I do not lie on Twitter dot com Image
I have literally only one fault & it’s my total inability to lie convincingly

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More from @ZiziFothSi

Katie Profile picture
3 Aug
I think it’s very important for the people to know that both Mads Mikkelsen and his wife Hanne, are hot, ImageImageImageImage
It’s always nice to have something in common with your partner
They’re both dancers Image
Read 4 tweets
Katie Profile picture
3 Aug
Oh my god so

I highly recommend checking out the Yellow Card Scheme reports that show what side-effects people have self-reported from different covid vaccs:
Menarche is the technical word for the very first time someone menstruates in their life.

So I’m not entirely sure how two people reported that the vaccine delayed its onset and one reported that it brought it on too early

Do they know the future Image
Huge if true Image
Read 32 tweets
Katie Profile picture
19 May
The real reason they discourage MRIs during pregnancy is because then people would realise they’re incubating nightmare demons and would be rightfully terrified ImageImageImageImage
I like how this one has its hand up like HELLO MOTHER DEAR I AM COMING FOR YOU Image
LET ME OUT

I THIRST FOR THE TUMULT Image
Read 10 tweets
Katie Profile picture
28 Oct 20
My cat just brought home a sword
How did you get this through the cat flap raffy

Also are you the king of England now
All hail the rightful king of England
Read 6 tweets
Katie Profile picture
19 Sep 20
Good morning today my job involves trying to find and capture a small hedgehog that is somewhere in the basement
Apparently the hog is “the size of a small hand”
Once I find the hog I am to call The Hedgehog Man
Read 11 tweets
Katie Profile picture
25 Jun 20
Why the actual fuck do men act like they’re going to die if they can’t touch strange women on the waist and lower back
Women: we hate this, it makes us uncomfortable, we don’t do this to men, here are alternatives if you don’t know any

Men:
Yes yes yes “not all men” but let’s not ignore the fact that it is men who are perpetuating and defending this action against women who almost uniformly hate it, come on
Read 8 tweets

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