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29 Aug, 46 tweets, 20 min read
59.01/ Week fifty-nine, Aug. 28-Sept. 3, 2021, thread begins here.

Week 58 thread below.
59.02/ Scoring a run on a balk is such sweet victorious humiliation. Like in NFL when a QB gives up a safety by running out the back of the endzone. Thanks Nationals. #LGM
59.03a/ One year without fans in the stands and they forgot how to act right.

The fans can't be abusive, throw objects, hurl slurs. This we know. But we cheer and boo. That's our job. And if players enjoy the cheering they need to fear the booing as well.
59.03b/ For the record look at this at-bat by Javier Baez, ringleader for the thumbs-down histrionics.

Six pitches. None are in the strike-zone. All strikes swinging. Look at 1 & 6! With runners at 1st & 3rd, he strikes out on a pitch 10 feet away from him. That deserves boos. From ESPN's app with Baez's...
59.04/ I need new printer paper & once I get free shipping I go through clearance items; but then a psychological battle plays out between my love of office supplies & bargains vs. common sense.

And when my super-prepper reflexes get involved, it's crazy:
staples.com/one-piece-cove…
59.05/ My son sent a video reading this script and it's both funny and also has amazing concepts. Joker saying "You drink water, I drink anarchy!" is a great line. #BotBatman

59.06/ This is such an excellent piece of advice about switching careers (or adding one, like in my case) later in life.

(I had always planned to be a rabbi and Ph.D. but it wasn't a normal path and I'd still do it, even knowing what I know now.)
56.07/ We scored 5 in the bottom of the 9th to win. 3 runs on 2 outs. Baez & Conforto - the scapegoats today, esp. Baez - with the heroics. Story. Book. #LGM
Image
56.07b/ I sent the above message quickly and didn't add the alt-text. It's a screenshot of the bottom of the 9th from this game (which isn't listed in July because it's officially back dated to April. Baseball stats are goofy).
espn.com/mlb/playbyplay…
59.07c/ Because this was so exciting (and I mis-numbered above), here's more about the final play:
Gary Cohen's call:
Booth view:
Howie's call:
Closeup on Baez slide:
#LGM
59.08/ An instantly iconic picture.

(And it's good to see that the commander is the last to leave. That's how it should be for anyone who has the ultimate authority - in peace, war, or crisis - needs to act this way.)

59.09/ A thread about the problem of "One Good Man" via @sadydoyle - e.g. men who set themselves up as sole heroes - and how an ethic can catastrophically be tied up with the rise/fall of one person (it's halakhic analog is #ChillulHashem).
59.10/ I'm trying not to turn my feed into a pure Torah/Mets account (in my defense it's #Elul & Sept.) but this is a brilliant comment. I'm a fan of a number of teams and there's some things that feel singular but are universal. Not this. #LGM
59.11/ I'm pro-abortion because I'm anti-forced birth. TX's new law is horrific. It's anti-women, anti-family, anti-life, anti-freedom.

It's also religious persecution. Jewish law demands abortion in many cases so TX is making my religion illegal.
59.12/ Ah, how #Elul can it get? Central NJ now under a tornado warning. Torrential rains too. All fun.
59.13/ When it rains, it pours of course. My laptop has been held together with a wing and a prayer and now multiple keys are becoming inoperable. The tornado warning was worse, mind you, but I'm not a fan of this #Elul.
59.14/ Welp, the basement flooded from the torrential rains. I can see why it's a "flash" flood because it was fine for hours, even when we huddled there avoiding the tornado, but then WOOMP there it was. People have it much worse but this is a lot for #Elul. #Selichot time!
59.15a/ Ya know, amidst the pandemic, tornados, floods, religious fundamentalists enshrining vigilante violence to oppress the majority via corruptly gained minority rule, I missed when I just had "first world" problems. [Video below from 59.13]
59.15b/ Joke's on me: the USA as "1st World" was propaganda.

Look: America took my refugee ancestors in and I am loyal and forever grateful to this country, but our national greatness lies in our lofty Constitution and the ability to criticize when we don't fulfill it.
59.16/ This stress "defense" mechanism which prevents any decent sleep is as messed up as my allergies that treat pollen as if it's mustard gas.

Logic brain: Sleep is needed more than adrenalin!
Lizard brain: Nope. Red alert all night. Nose agrees with me.
Nose: Lizard's right.
59.17/ At least my fitful night, and nightmares, were mostly about the Texas GOP & their vigilante vendetta against women and not as much about my flooded basement. Nice to know that when jolted awake 2020 style at 3 AM my priorities are right.
59.18/ How* can people be blaming RBG when Mitch McConnell is right there?!

Scalia dropped dead & McC held the government hostage to fill the vacancy, inviting in Trump (ym'sh) & his Russians to ensure it.

Don't absolve the TX GOP either!

* I know: because she's a strong woman
59.19/ Silver linings for my flooded basement: my parents were visiting a few days ago, thank God they didn't have to sploosh around in the guest room during the Jersey-Nado. Also, if this happened after Friday then it'd be 5 days until work could happen (weekend, Labor Day, RH)
59.20/ Nothing like a bunch of natural catastrophes that require skilled labor, and good old fashioned muscle work, to fix up everything back to normal to show how essential Labor is for a functioning society. Yay #LaborDay.
59.21/ Agree with this whole thread about the AFG withdrawal, that Biden is blamed for others' mistakes when he had the courage to extricate from a quagmire. The bad behavior from the MSM is in some ways a key lesson. Not sure there's an easy fix.
59.22/ Agree 100%. Enablers aren't direct perpetrators, but without their help, the abusers wouldn't get far. Enablers don't only open the door, they cover-up, protect, and in that sense they aid and abet. Alderson is at the very least an enabler. #LGM

59.23/ This column by @joshtpm is really excellent from top to bottom. SCOTUS is corrupt and corrupted and JMM takes it to the conceits of the "thinkers" in the legal profession that supports this folly.
talkingpointsmemo.com/edblog/scotus-…
59.24/ It's gratifying to see that the utter, depraved corruption of the GOP SCOTUS has led many lawyers to snap, the way Trump (ym'sh) did for historians & senior national security types. Even people who try to be non-partisan reach their breaking point.
59.24b/ This is a basis for my conclusion: many people, even if they have biases, are still committed to the system being fair & functional. Even if they aren't benevolent, they do expect to TRUST the system. Chaotic whim is toxic & they know and fear it.
59.25a/ Started #Slichot this week. I like the idea of saving my life through poetry.

Also I propose the "Order of the Broken Pasuk" - for those who've had to lead slichot on little or no prep/warning.

Esp. for today's pizmon which even Artscroll admits is basically a prank.
59.25b/ And a weird experience: maybe the only time in my life when I was disconcerted that a chatan zapped tachanun was on the first day of #Selichot. Skipping regular tachanun feels fun; skipping the "ashamnus" in slichot absolutely does not.
59.26/ Lindor brings "balk joy" to me ;) #LGM

59.27/ This is the right message.
59.28/ Nadler has been a fierce fighter and like Biden above it's a sign the Democrats are actually "doing something"
59.29/ A friend lent us their wet-vacc to deal with our flooded basement and it was such a great act of charity.

Hours of work later and we got the water out. I gotta buy one of my own so I can lend it out to people who need it. The piece of mind was priceless.
59.30/ Endorse. Many great writers, experts in their fields contribute every week; people who I read avidly before like @C_Stroop @QueenMab87 @magi_jay. Stoehr's commentary is valuable to me as well.

It's really worth it.

59.31/ Not to skew your answers, but I say either mew or moo depending on which is funnier at the time and/or if I'm talking with a cat or cow.

My math club in HS was Myu/Muu-Alpha-Theta (sound it out) so this came up a bunch.

59.32/ I resonate much with the emotion - and recognition that these enemies aren't brilliant, just nihilistic - but the FSoc types have a vastly easier task: they're entrenching structural advantages. That's way less effort than restructuring the system.
59.33/ I'm just a guy...
standing in front of a friend/colleague/acquaintance...
saying "Shana Tova"...
because I find "Ketiva Vachatima Tova" a labyrinthine tongue twister.

(And "Kessivo vechassimo tovoh"? A squishy tongue twister)
59.34/ Rabbi Esther Reed (of Rutgers Hillel), my good friend of 25 years, lost her step-father last week.

The NJJL has a good obituary about this remarkable person -- a survivor, MIT grad & NYU Ph.D. May his memory be for a blessing.
jewishlink.news/features/45747…
59.35/ Nice! 100 pages of #RoshHashanah content in memory of Rabbi Sacks z'l available for free download. Direct link: traditiononline.org/wp-content/upl…

59.36/ Agreed. The fact that (I estimate) nearly everyone in the MSM and all hot-take public figures got the past 6 years totally wrong demonstrates that the condition of their continued employment isn't accuracy but being a megaphone to the powerful.
59.37a/ It's become a running joke in my house that Colbert seems to hate 5th round picks in an almost superstitious way and will do anything to get rid of them.
59.37b/ Neal concurs:

and I add:
59.37c/ This is very kind. #HereWeGo

59.38/ Shabbos is getting close; food has been cooked, and pressing to get to shul. #ShabbatShalom everyone! Stay safe.

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More from @JoshuaCypess

Joshua Cypess Profile picture
15 Sep
1/ One more #NFL thing before the Day of Atonement. Last night's #MNF was very satisfying as a #Steelers fan. The ending of the game was nuts and I want to reproduce the nutty live-texts I sent to my sleeping son, not expecting it to become a saga of silliness.
2/ [11:31 PM] 55 yard FG to send it into overtime!

{Little did I know that this would be the least surprising thing of overtime. I should also add that many people expected BAL to go to the Superbowl and the Raiders to get a top 5 pick in the 2022 draft} Screencap from the ESPN app, score 27-27.
3/ [11:40 PM]: RAIDERS WIN
[11:41 PM]: wait hold up
[11:42 PM]: CORRECTION. will be at the half yard-line

{It was so exciting to think LV would get the ball and then just drive down the field and score. Of course, it couldn't be that simple. TD taken back.} ESPN screencap. 7:22 in OT, score still 27-27, LV in red zon
Read 8 tweets
Joshua Cypess Profile picture
14 Sep
1/ MacDonald died? Oh man.

First of all, I wish there was a website to find out if I'm allowed to publicly like a dead guy. Like a list of crimes so I know how to calibrate the right mix of sad, or happy, that he's dead.

[Please do that in Norm's voice]
2/ Certain people who're called "an [artist]'s artist" usually are extremists in that craft, and often unrecognized by all but a niche audience. In comedy, one of my areas of expertise, that doesn't always yield someone I personally enjoy.
3/ E.g. I detest Andy Kaufman's comedy because, for me, the barely disguised intend was cruelty. Other comedians work for "their time" like Lenny Bruce who I wish I found funnier than I do.

MacDonald was in that category.

(and this comment is great)
Read 8 tweets
Joshua Cypess Profile picture
14 Sep
1/ My son, new freshman at his high school, got the cover article in the weekly Torah journal, which was an awesome piece of nachas over #RoshHashanah

A few comments I feel I should make (and download available at this BE"H static link):
parshasheets.com/newsletter/bko…
2/ I did not help him directly in any way. Despite my eager offer to discuss and/or proofread, he successfully shielded himself from my relentless, avid desire to help him with a D'var Torah.

I say this because (1) it's a really good piece & (2) all the language is his.
3/ However, as a gift to me, he did say that he learned "tautological" from our many conversations (yes!) and from my meta-perspective, I see he followed the advice I give to all my homiletics students based on my decades of speeches, articles, classes & other media.
Read 9 tweets
Joshua Cypess Profile picture
13 Sep
1/ A thread to catalog my stray comments about the NFL yesterday (as part of my academic 'obsessive archiving' heritage).

Overall, the #Steelers had an amazing road win over Buffalo mainly because of a stifling defense, which is fun in retrospect but during the game is stressful
2/ The comment below is actually from my sports-watching partner, my sportsman son, who is wise & savvy beyond his years.

Melvin "Boy Named Sue?" Ingram draws a holding penalty instead of getting a de jure sack but de facto it is one.
3/ BAL & NE are experts in bad-faith rulebook exploitation. Examples abound (see CBS link). 2 most common: the "Flacco Ball" (badly thrown deep pass designed purely to draw DPI) & having the OL hold on every play to DDOS the refs.
cbssports.com/nfl/news/raven…
Read 11 tweets
Joshua Cypess Profile picture
12 Sep
61.01/ Week sixty-one, Sept. 11-17, 2021, thread begins here.

Week 60 below
61.02/ I am a fan of the professional sport of American Football and, as a child of Pittsburgh, a particular avid supporter of the #Steelers. I apologize ahead of time for some intemperate comments that may be made during the season which could be non-sequitur for non-NFLers.
61.03/ From last night at the #Mets-Yankees game, a scandal that Fox's cameras lingered on that hateful flag. Ironically it symbolizes the way 9-11 was perverted by corrupt bad-actors from day one.

Read 28 tweets
Joshua Cypess Profile picture
10 Sep
1/ One of these days I'll learn how to read alt-text in my standard browsing experience on Twitter. One reason why: when I alt an image on my feed I will try to describe the picture but add extra commentary (1000 char>280).

For example, on the gif below:
2/ This is part 1:
Absolutely no idea what the original source of this gif is. I was searching for variations of "smackdown" or "beatdown." This is of a toddler wearing a yellow jumpsuit - satirizing Uma Thurman's suit in "Kill Bill" I assume - fighting a stuffed animal monster.
3/ Part 2 (but all within the original tweet pic):

The toddler displays kung-fu moves and poses and ends the fight by ripping open the stuffing of the violent antagonist and ripping out what I assume is to represent its heart (a pile of fluff)
Read 5 tweets

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