More from @SoozUK

Sooz Kempner

@SoozUK

25 Sep

THREAD: I've read the Andrew Neil Daily Mail interview so you don't have to. The headline is all very funny but leads you to believe he just had a big tantrum coz #GBeebies was pure shite. I've read on to show you there's more to it than that.

So we open with this, showing that Neil is "unflappable", has been targeted by the IRA, jihadis...he's not easily broken, that's what we're getting here. But #GBeebies has him in LITERAL TEARS and that's just in an interview. He nearly had a breakdown!

It sounds TERRIBLE, the journalist is HUGGING HIM as he says he couldn't go on! The tech nightmare and how everyone was LAUGHING AT HIM online left him "in despair".

But...that can't be why he nearly had a breakdown...tech drama and Twitter memes...more to it than that surely?

Read 20 tweets

Sooz Kempner

@SoozUK

25 Sep

DREAM THREAD: Not that I'm feeling a bit fragile and insignificant but I just had a dream that I decided to audition for X Factor "as a laugh" and went with a friend. We queued up inside a Sainsbury's Local and for some reason our timeslot meant we were the last two of the day.

I kept saying "this is stupid, I'm only auditioning for a laugh, I'm gonna go" and my friend (PS she wasn't a real person in the dream and her whole thing was she couldn't sing and knew it) went "no no stay it'll be hilarious".

When there were 10 of us left a production assistant came out and said they couldn't see any more that day but we could stay over and be seen in the morning.
I wanted to LEEEEAAAAVE but my friend convinced me to stay so we slept on the floor of the Sainsbury's Local.

Read 13 tweets

Sooz Kempner

@SoozUK

10 Mar

In 2016 I was lunged at by an Hermes delivery guy when I was signing for a parcel in Ilford where I was housesitting. It was horrible, obvs. Later I had a gig and returning at 11pm I had to decide whether to walk 15 minutes from the station or get an Uber. NEITHER appealed.

I don't think a lot of people get that sometimes there are NO options that feel safe when returning home from something because, on that day in particular, men were fucking scary to me. The other option is: never leave the house and definitely never answer the door.

We're now three-and-a-half years after #metoo and people hear about a cop being arrested for the disappearance of a woman walking home at night and their first thought is "ah, she shouldn't have walked home alone at night". Fuck you, you have no idea.

Read 4 tweets

Sooz Kempner

@SoozUK

9 Mar

THREAD: How the contestants of season six of Australia’s Married at First Sight feel about Harry and Meghan’s Oprah interview.

INES: Thinks Meghan is a “she-beast” and has slid into Harry’s Insta DMs.

CYRELL: Can’t believe Harry didn’t offer to help Meghan with feeding the chickens and thinks that was so disrespectful of him.

MIKE: Got bored and complained coz “this isn’t therapy, it’s meant to be just a laugh”. Has advised Harry in an Insta story to "just have a laugh" but is yet to hear anything back.

Read 18 tweets

Sooz Kempner

@SoozUK

9 Mar

Meghan Markle's father (I'm not gonna name him) getting airtime is foul. If you have never been in the position of having to estrange yourself from a parent you won't have a clue of the level it has to get to before you cut ties. No interest in his mewling display.

When you cut a parent off it's after years of pain. The act itself is horrendous. You lose people you've known your whole life as they decide the problem was you. Other people periodically tell you "he's very proud of you, you know" etc like you asked.

Imagine all of the above and then national publications and ratings-smash TV shows inviting the parent on to "give my side". Fuck you if you have anything other than empathy for the estranged child, no matter how "just annoying though" you find her.

Read 4 tweets