THREAD: I've read the Andrew Neil Daily Mail interview so you don't have to. The headline is all very funny but leads you to believe he just had a big tantrum coz #GBeebies was pure shite. I've read on to show you there's more to it than that.
So we open with this, showing that Neil is "unflappable", has been targeted by the IRA, jihadis...he's not easily broken, that's what we're getting here. But #GBeebies has him in LITERAL TEARS and that's just in an interview. He nearly had a breakdown!
It sounds TERRIBLE, the journalist is HUGGING HIM as he says he couldn't go on! The tech nightmare and how everyone was LAUGHING AT HIM online left him "in despair".

But...that can't be why he nearly had a breakdown...tech drama and Twitter memes...more to it than that surely?
Right, so he's crying SO MUCH that the journalist had to GIVE HIM A HUG but we obviously haven't got to the nitty-gritty of why yet, we're just still talking about the shite tech we all had a laugh at for about a week at the beginning before the channel basically disappeared.
OK, tech failed so he had no guests and had to just interview who was around...still nothing about the REAL DRAMA where he hit rock bottom because of the stuff that was harder than the IRA wanting to get you.

Oh wait, he had to interview Harwood jk jk.
So far it's still just....the tech was bollocks and people on the internet were laughing about it. He's CRYING at the memory of THIS. No offence m8 but I've filled 2 hours on Twitch improvving as Princess Diana and I'm no Andrew Neil.
OK, now I'm crying, I didn't realise the brave man who is devastatingly sad because of crap tech and a really funny Marina Hyde takedown walked away from FOUR MILLION POUNDS! I wish a Daily Mail journalist was around to give ME a hug.
And now a load of stuff about his hot Swedish brilliant wife and...a weekend in Jersey...before bravely returning for four more days. The...the headline doesn't appear to be clickbait.
Ah I HAVE been unfair after all because I too would break down and cry months after I'd had to sit in a studio that was SO BLACK I had to TAKE OFF MY JACKET AND JUST WEAR A WHITE SHIRT. Just thinking about doing that has made me cry and puke and I'm covered in tears and sick now.
This bit has major 16-year-old Girl Who Took Over Choreographing The Dance Routine At The End Of The School's Production Of Grease Because The Drama Teacher Just Didn't Have A Clue energy.
Er, wow, Andrew, this all sounds a bit....woke?
Don't worry btw, he won't see any of this because he blocked me when he dragged Diane Abbott for using the term "Global South" when he, who at that point had the biggest job in political broadcasting, didn't know what it meant and I said "you should know what Global South means".
Yeah, when I think of CIA extractions I think of quaffing champers at 40,000 feet and I have a little chuckle before sinking back in to my pit of despair.

I remember when he left and people were saying "it's all part of the plan, #GBeebies is dangerous". Lolololol.
I have officially given up on discovering anything more upsetting than: the channel was a big pile of crap and I was on it. He feels disrespected. That's literally it.
Hahahahaha "you've already got D@n W00t0n" has really cracked me up, it's so shady, ANDREW! You catty boy!

Who did he think they were gonna bring in...David Frost!?
OK this THIS THIS THIS is the juice I'm here for. They wanted to put cameras in classrooms and film little kids being woke and even Mr Woke Watch himself, ar Andy, said "dafuq?"
This is soon going to garner a reply from a #GBeebies stan who will chastise me for laughing at Neil's tears, suggesting I should care about mental health.
He's been saying this a lot recently, that he was the lone voice making sure it wouldn't become Fox News, that he ONLY signed up if they PROMISED it didn't become Fox News.

m8, you succeeded, it WISHES it was Fox News.
OH PHEW was worried there that he wouldn't recover from having presented on a very bad news channel for two whole weeks but LUCKILY he's going on a dream holiday PHEW
We conclude with him saying he wishes he'd PUBLICLY condemned the launch date because now everyone would be saying "u were rite andrew" but instead they're laughing. Genuinely. That's how the interview ends.
The comments section is an absolute joy.
Btw sorry if you're here from the Cars of the 90s Thread I did last week and are like "wtf is this, where's the stuff about how the third generation Astra really honoured the design of the second generation Astra?"

• • •

Missing some Tweet in this thread? You can try to force a refresh
 

Keep Current with Sooz Kempner

Sooz Kempner Profile picture

Stay in touch and get notified when new unrolls are available from this author!

Read all threads

This Thread may be Removed Anytime!

PDF

Twitter may remove this content at anytime! Save it as PDF for later use!

Try unrolling a thread yourself!

how to unroll video
  1. Follow @ThreadReaderApp to mention us!

  2. From a Twitter thread mention us with a keyword "unroll"
@threadreaderapp unroll

Practice here first or read more on our help page!

More from @SoozUK

25 Sep
DREAM THREAD: Not that I'm feeling a bit fragile and insignificant but I just had a dream that I decided to audition for X Factor "as a laugh" and went with a friend. We queued up inside a Sainsbury's Local and for some reason our timeslot meant we were the last two of the day.
I kept saying "this is stupid, I'm only auditioning for a laugh, I'm gonna go" and my friend (PS she wasn't a real person in the dream and her whole thing was she couldn't sing and knew it) went "no no stay it'll be hilarious".
When there were 10 of us left a production assistant came out and said they couldn't see any more that day but we could stay over and be seen in the morning.
I wanted to LEEEEAAAAVE but my friend convinced me to stay so we slept on the floor of the Sainsbury's Local.
Read 13 tweets
23 Sep
Politicians aren't supposed to be hilarious and obviously all art is subjective but Boris Johnson's whole thing is "lol he's just so funny!" and, honestly, I've never seen a less funny man.
He botches lines that aren't mad-funny anyway but are recognisable as jokes written down, he just totally fucks em up like in the scene in Joker where Arthur sucks at comedy.
I think David Cameron was funnier than Johnson and he's really not a funny guy.
Read 4 tweets
10 Mar
In 2016 I was lunged at by an Hermes delivery guy when I was signing for a parcel in Ilford where I was housesitting. It was horrible, obvs. Later I had a gig and returning at 11pm I had to decide whether to walk 15 minutes from the station or get an Uber. NEITHER appealed.
I don't think a lot of people get that sometimes there are NO options that feel safe when returning home from something because, on that day in particular, men were fucking scary to me. The other option is: never leave the house and definitely never answer the door.
We're now three-and-a-half years after #metoo and people hear about a cop being arrested for the disappearance of a woman walking home at night and their first thought is "ah, she shouldn't have walked home alone at night". Fuck you, you have no idea.
Read 4 tweets
9 Mar
THREAD: How the contestants of season six of Australia’s Married at First Sight feel about Harry and Meghan’s Oprah interview.

INES: Thinks Meghan is a “she-beast” and has slid into Harry’s Insta DMs.
CYRELL: Can’t believe Harry didn’t offer to help Meghan with feeding the chickens and thinks that was so disrespectful of him.
MIKE: Got bored and complained coz “this isn’t therapy, it’s meant to be just a laugh”. Has advised Harry in an Insta story to "just have a laugh" but is yet to hear anything back.
Read 18 tweets
9 Mar
Meghan Markle's father (I'm not gonna name him) getting airtime is foul. If you have never been in the position of having to estrange yourself from a parent you won't have a clue of the level it has to get to before you cut ties. No interest in his mewling display.
When you cut a parent off it's after years of pain. The act itself is horrendous. You lose people you've known your whole life as they decide the problem was you. Other people periodically tell you "he's very proud of you, you know" etc like you asked.
Imagine all of the above and then national publications and ratings-smash TV shows inviting the parent on to "give my side". Fuck you if you have anything other than empathy for the estranged child, no matter how "just annoying though" you find her.
Read 4 tweets
4 Mar
Malcolm Dempster has a spare room to rent.
Malcolm lays down a few rules for his lucky new tenant.
Malcolm shows off his best impressions.
Read 6 tweets

Did Thread Reader help you today?

Support us! We are indie developers!


This site is made by just two indie developers on a laptop doing marketing, support and development! Read more about the story.

Become a Premium Member ($3/month or $30/year) and get exclusive features!

Become Premium

Too expensive? Make a small donation by buying us coffee ($5) or help with server cost ($10)

Donate via Paypal Become our Patreon

Thank you for your support!

Follow Us on Twitter!

:(