We were taking a cab in Belfast, and the driver said that be careful when we got out, because there would be shoes on the sidewalk and tourists trip on them in the dark.

We thought he was taking the piss…why are there shoes on the sidewalk?

And he said, it was Saturday night, and the girls would go out drinking in high heels, realize they could no longer walk in them, take them off, forget they are carrying them, and leave them on the street.

This sounded like horseshit, so we scoffed a bit.

He said, no, it’s true, and sometimes girls who could not afford nice shoes would go along the streets where the clubs and pubs were and just grab up the orphaned shoes…weirdest of all, they would often find just one shoe of a pair, and would frantically look for the mate…

We got out and thanked him, we were going to a gluten free restaurant on a busy street.

Not ten seconds later I almost tripped on a pair of bright red high-heeled shoes, left abandoned on the sidewalk.

We laughed.

But years later, it still seems weird.

People drink everywhere. But I have never heard of anywhere where abandoning shoes is like, just a thing that happens all the time.

Is it? I don’t drink but I have never seen nice new shoes in the street anywhere else.

Seriously…why the middle of the sidewalk?

And why go barefoot in a busy city street, ewww.

And if you KNOW you might leave your shoes, why wear nice new ones?

Better yet, why wear high heels?


We decided they are ghost shoes, shoes worn by ghosts who eventually found their best hook-up with a mortal, so after a night of carnal bliss, they ascend and leave their earthly possessions behind, which we decided are shoes and ghost condoms.

Ghost condoms are like regular condoms but at the climactic moment, they say, ‘There is no orgasm, there is only ZUUL.’ And the mortal hook-up freaks out and runs out of the alley screaming so there’s no awkward moment when the act is done.

This is why having a writer spouse is never a good idea.


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More from @GailSimone

9 Oct
Okay, here is a little thread about something that absolutely made my brain explode yesterday. I had never even put it together, somehow. But a tiny jump down a rabbit hole explained a HUGE part of my life in comics.

Wanna hear? It's weird.

I have talked about growing up on a remote farm in the boonies quite a lot. There were mostly farmers, fishermen, and loggers where I lived, very tough, strong guys. Mostly very nice guys, too!

But we didn't get a lot of tv reception, so access to movies was limited.

I can't remember the exact circumstances, but the only movie theater in our tiny town showed older movies on the weekends as matinees. They had a double feature of Doc Savage and The Man With the Golden Gun. I was just a kid, can't remember how old, but really young.

Read 29 tweets
1 Oct
Hey, guys.


It’s another thrilling expedition into thrilling expeditions!

It’s a quick #TableTopGails! Woot! Huzzah!

Now, I have been swamped but the games have been piling up, if you sent some, I WILL get to them! :)


2/ Image
These are all games I have been dying to have, been waiting forever, I think all are brand new. Woot!

Also, who is singing in the background?

Read 30 tweets
30 Sep
Okay, today on @TableTopGails, this is a very short one, but I got two surprise boxes on the #MagicPorch today and I just opened them up and both are WOW.

I don’t believe either has been shown anywhere before, so prepare for a bit sneak peek from @wizkidsgames!

First up, holy crap, this looks so cool!

It’s the EMPYRE MINIATURES GAME from @wizkidsgames!

2/ Image
I was confused for a moment, because @wizkids also makes non-clip minis, and this doesn’t say Heroclix right away, but this game IS standalone, OR can be played with other Heroclix. It is from a recent mega-event in the comics (which I haven’t read yet!).

3/ ImageImage
Read 16 tweets
12 Sep
Okay, this is a bear thread. Warning, the punchline is kind of gross.

But at least it’s a short thread!

So, this whole ‘Gail is a bear’ thing started because I was in an important call with a director. I live in the boonies with huge glass windows all around.


During the call, I turn around, and there is a bear right outside on my back patio, trying to get in.

I’m having this cool meeting about an awesome project, I look up, a bear wants in.

It was a bit disconcerting.

I am not afraid of bears as a rule, I chase them away with a broom, maybe not the smartest move, but this one surprised me, it was like he want IN RIGHT NOW.

We had been having a lot of trouble with bears, one huge bear made a nest right next to our house.

Read 17 tweets
19 Aug
So a while back, the great @tombrevoort made a point that when someone gets a chance to write at Marvel, they always stick in every one of their favorite MU things and characters, in case they never get another chance…

I’m my case, it’s kind of true…

Every time I do something there, which isn’t that often, I always stick in all the stuff that made me love Marvel as a kid.

So I had to put in Shang Chi, the Mole Man, the Celestials, Taskmaster, the Punisher, Spidey, Black Widow, Morbius, etc.

Because I love ‘em.

I’m curious. I see Tom’s point, I think, that it could get formulaic, and could stop people from inventing NEW stuff.

But I wonder if the writers and artists drawing their favorites adds a level of enthusiasm and excitement.

It did for me for sure.

Read 8 tweets
19 Aug
Ruin LORD OF THE RINGS in four words.

_______ _______ ________ ________
Gollum lap dances everyone.
Aragorn kicks all helmets
Read 8 tweets

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