Okay, here is a little thread about something that absolutely made my brain explode yesterday. I had never even put it together, somehow. But a tiny jump down a rabbit hole explained a HUGE part of my life in comics.

Wanna hear? It's weird.

1/
I have talked about growing up on a remote farm in the boonies quite a lot. There were mostly farmers, fishermen, and loggers where I lived, very tough, strong guys. Mostly very nice guys, too!

But we didn't get a lot of tv reception, so access to movies was limited.

2/
I can't remember the exact circumstances, but the only movie theater in our tiny town showed older movies on the weekends as matinees. They had a double feature of Doc Savage and The Man With the Golden Gun. I was just a kid, can't remember how old, but really young.

3/
I didn't know anything about James Bond, but I was a fan of pulp heroes. Doc Savage was my least favorite big name pulp character, but I was bored, I asked if I could go, no one wanted to go with, so I went by myself as a kid and planned up, it was going to be fun.

4/
Anyway, Doc Savage was first, I was bored to tears, I almost left because I didn't know anything about James Bond. But movie days were rare, so I stayed. And it's The Man With The Golden Gun, one of the most critically-loathed of the entire series.

5/
There are many, many people who hate this movie to their toes. The famous Bond score composer, John Barry, said it had the worst theme song. It was the fourth lowest-grossing of the entire series.

I had no interest in spies, I didn't like camp heroes.

Shoulda hated it.

6/
Instead, I loved it. Holy shit, I just did. The scenery of the locations, the clothes, the action, I loved it all.

And Barry was wrong about the theme song, it's an absolute banger, sung by Lulu.

Tell me I'm wrong.

7/
Here it is.



8/
And there's a couple other things that I thought were great...I loved Hervé Villechaize as Nick Nack. It's been a long time since I've seen the movie, it's probably awful in it's LP representation, but there was something wildly charismatic and lethal about him.

9/
And the biggest bonus of all...CHRISTOPHER DAMN LEE as 'Six-Gun' Scaramanga, the Man With the Golden Gun.

I loved his portrayal, I loved the coldness of it. He seemed not just Bond's equal, but his better. Still my favorite Bond villain.

10/
Here's where it gets a little odd. I loved the movie so much, I became a Bond fan.

And weirdly, that made me LESS of a Roger Moore fan. I would go see the movies, because Bond, but the cornball humor really annoyed, and I ended up liking every other version more.

11/
Reading the books turned me off of Moore's Bond even more. It's only recently, having read a couple of his books, and reading stories about how gracious and kind he was, that I have re-looked at his appeal and can see why people like that version.

12/
But it meant that this movie that I genuinely LOVED as a kid, I kind of avoided ever since.

He made me love Bond, then I abandoned him for all the OTHER Bonds (except Brosnan, that's another story).

But yesterday, I randomly said, HEY! I LOVE THE MAN WITH THE GOLDEN GUN.

13/
And it hit me...why did I love it so much? All I remembered at the moment was that weird Southern Sheriff character.

Then it hit me, I remembered why I loved it, why it made me want to sit up and cheer, and why it changed my entire life and affects me to this day!

14/
Here it is. There's a scene where Bond infiltrates a compound in Bangkok, aided by a police lieutenant from Hong Kong named Hip.

Bong enters alone, ends up unconscious, wakes up as a lethal show of martial artists is taking place.

It's a fun scene, Moore seems game.

15/
But he's surrounded by martial artists and is barely able to hold his own against one of them, their champion. So he jumps out of the arena and makes a run for it.

And this is where everything changed for me.

16/
The two nieces, in their school uniforms, stand right next to Bond as they are surrounded on both sides by all these killers.

Bond looks genuinely like he knows an asskicking is coming their way. There is an unusual expression of, 'this is bad' for him.

17/
He gallantly tries to shield them.

"Stay behind me, girls."

Note the nieces' faces here.

That is an expression I have tried to recreate a thousand times in fight scenes.

18/
Without a word, the two young girls, in their schoolgirl blouses, skirts and shoes, both deliberately walk in FRONT of Bond, with an expression that so PERFECTLY says, "No, we got these assholes."

It is so elementally powerful, I'm surprised the screen didn't catch fire.

19/
And then they quietly, purposefully beat the living SHIT out of the martial artists, one after another. Kicks to the head, kicks to the balls, they are RUTHLESS.

I watched it yesterday for the first time in years, and it blew my mind all over AGAIN.

20/
No one is going to call the Bond films of that era progressive. But not only are they not sexualized, Bond shows them the respect of standing back out of the way while they take care of business.

I say again. LOOK AT THESE FACES.

21/
And watching this scene over and over again yesterday, it just unleashed this flood of emotion and memory. I was dog-tired of heroines who had to be rescued, they were EVERYWHERE.

I know a lot of martial arts films had fighting women, but they were RARE here.

22/
And it finally hit me that this scene has been in the back of my brain, pushing me on, EVER SINCE. Without me even knowing it.

First, I've written some deadly schoolgirls, especially in Birds of Prey, with Sin and Bethany. That's directly from this scene.

23/
But more than that, that one scene was quite likely the first time I ever saw a female of ANY age play the stoic, silent and lethal fighter in any medium.

And I have spent the rest of my life reading, and eventually WRITING, stories with just that archetype.

24/
So that is why my brain exploded yesterday, I realized an incredible scene in an okay movie led me DIRECTLY to this moment all this time later, still writing women who stand up and fight back.

Still trying to capture the gold standard of 'don't fuck with me' face. :)

25/
I ask you, how weird are the building blocks of our lives?

If I hadn't seen that movie, I might never have loved Batgirl and Wonder Woman so much. And I'd probably be a garage mechanic somewhere.

WEIRD.

But kind of wonderful.

26/
Sadly, the girls aren't even credited in the movie's titles.

That sucks. I hope they know what an impact they had!

One quit the movie business for good. One quit for 28 years, until...

27/
...she returned in triumph to play the best part of a masterpiece, KUNG FU HUSTLE, as the ultimate badass, the landlady. It's true, it's that same schoolgirl kicking ass decades earlier in Man With The Golden Gun!

STILL WITH THE 'DON'T EVEN TRY IT, CUZ' FACE!

28/
That's it, no big message, BUT if I was GOING to say something about it, it would be this:

Don't be a rock. Be a goddamn sponge.

Creators get their stories and their images from everything, good and bad, sweet and sour.

You never know.

You never, ever know.

Thanks!

end/
Thank you, Yuen Qui.
P.S. Here's the actual scene, the girls come in about halfway through. PLEASE ENJOY!

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More from @GailSimone

8 Oct
We were taking a cab in Belfast, and the driver said that be careful when we got out, because there would be shoes on the sidewalk and tourists trip on them in the dark.

We thought he was taking the piss…why are there shoes on the sidewalk?

1/
And he said, it was Saturday night, and the girls would go out drinking in high heels, realize they could no longer walk in them, take them off, forget they are carrying them, and leave them on the street.

This sounded like horseshit, so we scoffed a bit.

2/
He said, no, it’s true, and sometimes girls who could not afford nice shoes would go along the streets where the clubs and pubs were and just grab up the orphaned shoes…weirdest of all, they would often find just one shoe of a pair, and would frantically look for the mate…

3/
Read 9 tweets
1 Oct
Hey, guys.

HEY, YOU GUYS.

1/
It’s another thrilling expedition into thrilling expeditions!

It’s a quick #TableTopGails! Woot! Huzzah!

Now, I have been swamped but the games have been piling up, if you sent some, I WILL get to them! :)

Meanwhile LOOK AT THESE MONSTERS RIGHTCHERE!

2/ Image
These are all games I have been dying to have, been waiting forever, I think all are brand new. Woot!

Also, who is singing in the background?

3/
Read 30 tweets
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Okay, today on @TableTopGails, this is a very short one, but I got two surprise boxes on the #MagicPorch today and I just opened them up and both are WOW.

I don’t believe either has been shown anywhere before, so prepare for a bit sneak peek from @wizkidsgames!

1/
First up, holy crap, this looks so cool!

It’s the EMPYRE MINIATURES GAME from @wizkidsgames!

2/ Image
I was confused for a moment, because @wizkids also makes non-clip minis, and this doesn’t say Heroclix right away, but this game IS standalone, OR can be played with other Heroclix. It is from a recent mega-event in the comics (which I haven’t read yet!).

3/ ImageImage
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Okay, this is a bear thread. Warning, the punchline is kind of gross.

But at least it’s a short thread!

So, this whole ‘Gail is a bear’ thing started because I was in an important call with a director. I live in the boonies with huge glass windows all around.

Suddenly…

1/
During the call, I turn around, and there is a bear right outside on my back patio, trying to get in.

I’m having this cool meeting about an awesome project, I look up, a bear wants in.

It was a bit disconcerting.

2/
I am not afraid of bears as a rule, I chase them away with a broom, maybe not the smartest move, but this one surprised me, it was like he want IN RIGHT NOW.

We had been having a lot of trouble with bears, one huge bear made a nest right next to our house.

3/
Read 17 tweets
19 Aug
So a while back, the great @tombrevoort made a point that when someone gets a chance to write at Marvel, they always stick in every one of their favorite MU things and characters, in case they never get another chance…

I’m my case, it’s kind of true…

1/
Every time I do something there, which isn’t that often, I always stick in all the stuff that made me love Marvel as a kid.

So I had to put in Shang Chi, the Mole Man, the Celestials, Taskmaster, the Punisher, Spidey, Black Widow, Morbius, etc.

Because I love ‘em.

2/
I’m curious. I see Tom’s point, I think, that it could get formulaic, and could stop people from inventing NEW stuff.

But I wonder if the writers and artists drawing their favorites adds a level of enthusiasm and excitement.

It did for me for sure.

3/
Read 8 tweets
19 Aug
Ruin LORD OF THE RINGS in four words.

_______ _______ ________ ________
Gollum lap dances everyone.
Aragorn kicks all helmets
Read 8 tweets

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