Thread by @stevecusswords

S2 E12

What do you do with a problem like Nate?

We all have experiences, we make meaning out of those experiences. This meaning becomes a script. We then live out the script and project it onto others.

This is how we become bound and stuck.

1/

Chronic anxiety is generated by false belief and assumptions. We can no longer see what 'is', we are trapped in our assumptions and these assumptions do damage to us, people we love, people we work with.

2/

Nate. It is a terrible thing to always feel on the outside, feel invisible, feel like the 'cool' people have some advantage or set of rules that allow them opportunities you'll never have.

3/

When this happens from your youngest memories, and it is reinforced by people you love or people who have huge influence over you, like Nate's Dad.

4/

Nate survived this deep feeling of inferiority & rejection by diminishing himself. His passion for the game is 'relegated' down to lawn maintenance and laundry.

As long as he diminishes himself, no one will see him for who he really is. He will never be fully himself.

5/

Until Ted comes along. Ted learns Nate's name, listens to him, puts him in front of the team, promotes him into leadership. Perhaps the first key person in Nate's life to unlock him out of the cage he is in.

6/

But Ted presumes upon Nate a generally healthy way of thinking. Instead, all that insecurity and inferiority is now co mingled with power and authority. Ted's over Nate, Nate's over the team.

7/

We see this early in S1. I was incredibly uncomfortable the very first time Nate 'roasted' the team one by one in front of each other. He took WAY too much pleasure in cutting others down. They rewarded him for it.

I was wincing.

8/

Much like Walter White in Breaking Bad, Nate had all this in him from the start. Go back to BB E1. WW is stomping legs, blowing up cars.

So it is with Nate. Very early - given power, he abuses it. It happened to him year after year, so that is what his script says to do.

9/

Ted never corrects it, he just observes it. This is Ted's failure of leadership. He believes Nate will do the right thing if given enough time and space.

But time and space just make Nate give himself over to his worst sides of himself.

Romans 1.

10/

So the idea that S2 Nate is out of left field betrays an understanding of how insecurity and power work together. Nate has had an unhealthy relationship with power from his earliest memories.

11/

Nate is carrying profound levels of shame. He spits at himself in the mirror. What he sees is ugly. He does what we all do when we feel exposed: hides and blames.

The scene where he blames Ted is breath taking.

12/

Ted takes it, he knows that 'insight doesn't work with someone unmotivated to change.'

Nate's script is screaming over reality.

What is true: Ted is human & can never live up to Nate's need. Nate's Christmas gift is home next to a photo of Ted's son.

13/

When we act out of our script, we no longer see what is true. We're too busy hiding and blaming.

Nate sobers up after the blame rant. He is flooded with shame from the news article.He is full blown reactive. Must. Get. Relief. Rather than make repair, he must leave.

14/

Hiding and blaming. The oldest response of humans to sin. He feels his only option is to find someone who understands power the way he does, so he joins Rupert. God help West Ham United between their owner and manager!

15/

Nate's suit. He wants to shed the suit Ted picked out for him; to make his own choice. He is stuck in 'first order change.' His solution is 'more of the same.' He can't stand that Ted chose his suit. But Keeley chose his new suit. No real change there. Nate is stuck.

16/

Jamie's journey has been fantastic this season. Making sense of his family script, moving toward people with his true self. He has moved from reactive to deliberative with the edgier side of his personality. He knows when to take the kick and when to delegate.

17/

Keeley and Roy.

I've said that Keeley is one of the most differentiated on the show, but when Roy invites her to a thoughtful holiday, I think her response is detachment. She doesn't seem to give him any credit for the gesture and is rigid in her response.

18

So much so, that Roy has to vulnerably ask, 'are we breaking up?' Roy is flexible, 'I chose a place with wifi' but she is rigid. Can't she even go for 2 weeks? She certainly moves toward him, but this one left me feeling a bit cold.

19/

What a season. S1 was delight and surprise. S2 was relational development of the first order.

And what acting by the whole cast.

Amazing performance by Nick Mohammed, especially these last few episodes.

Loved it. Thanks for following along.

20/20