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9 Oct, 4 tweets, 1 min read
. @lancejorton asked for more on Jamie's path this season.

I've really enjoyed Jamie's path. In my MLA workshops, I teach that your gift is also your anxiety.

I am proactive. So one way you know I am anxious is when I am proactive.

1/
Over time, you can notice reactivity and move to bering deliberative. Now you're no longer in anxiety's grip, but you still have the gift.

Jamie is a L.P. to coin a Roy phrase. But now he can turn it on when needed in the field when signalled by the coaches.

2/
In this episode he doesn't always have to be the guy. Dani gets the kick.

With Roy, Jamie refuses to let Roy blow him off when Roy won't coach him.

He comes to Roy with vulnerability and openness about his feelings for Keeley.

3/
His path has been as significant as Nate's this season. From Reality Show Dropout to advocating for himself, to vulnerability and openness. Sharing, but still turning it on when needed for the team. Really impressive.

4/4

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More from @stevecusswords

Steve Cuss Profile picture
9 Oct
S2 E12

What do you do with a problem like Nate?

We all have experiences, we make meaning out of those experiences. This meaning becomes a script. We then live out the script and project it onto others.

This is how we become bound and stuck.

1/
Chronic anxiety is generated by false belief and assumptions. We can no longer see what 'is', we are trapped in our assumptions and these assumptions do damage to us, people we love, people we work with.

2/
Nate. It is a terrible thing to always feel on the outside, feel invisible, feel like the 'cool' people have some advantage or set of rules that allow them opportunities you'll never have.

3/
Read 20 tweets
Steve Cuss Profile picture
14 Sep
Differentiation of Self is a 'cornerstone concept' of Systems Theory, to coin a phrase from Dr Roberta Gilbert.

I used to think it was 4 things at once. But recently I have added a 5th thing that I think it REALLY important

A brief thread.

1/
The original 4 things at once:
1. Managing your reactivity from erupting into others.
2. Not catching the reactivity coming at you.
3. Staying emotionally connected to the person.
4. Clarifying your own values and convictions.

2/
Now with the 5th:

1. Managing your reactivity from erupting into others.
2. Not catching the reactivity coming at you.
3. Staying emotionally connected to the person.
4. Clarifying your own values and convictions.
5. Aligning your values and conviction with reality.

3/
Read 13 tweets
Steve Cuss Profile picture
13 Sep
I get asked a lot 'how do I know I'm not ok?'

It is actually an excellent question. Leaders and care givers can often be the last one to know that they are not ok.

Some tangible things to look for, a thread.

1/
1. You can measure your level of reactivity. Reactivity goes up when calm goes down and vice versa.

You're paying attention to reaction time (0-100 right away) AND duration (ruminating for hours or days.)

2/
2. Check your shock absorbers. Are more things than usual getting to you? Are you more easily offended by a wider number of people and topics?

Might be that you are 'bottoming out' over more bumps in the road.

3/
Read 14 tweets
Steve Cuss Profile picture
11 Sep
Ted Lasso S2E8.

"Multi Generation Transmission Process" is one of the 8 core concepts of Systems Theory.

We all inherit asset and liability traits from our family of origin. What isn't processed is transmitted. Differentiation is most difficult within families.

1/
Roy is on a journey of making sense of what he has inherited and what he wants to pass down. His vulnerable chat with Phoebe is (IMO) up there with the Dart Scene from S1 as one of the great TL scenes.

2/
Roy grapples with sharing the worst of himself with her. She blesses the best of him and he is able to receive it because he has been on a multi episode journey of self reflection and opening his heart. Roy is moving from detached to differentiation and emotionally connected.
3/
Read 15 tweets
Steve Cuss Profile picture
10 Sep
Alrighty Fellow, Bipeds, thanks to @YvetteCherry20 for the nudge and by popular request:

Systems Theory fleshed out in Ted Lasso.

1/
1. Opening sequence. 'Health infects ill health.' Ted sits down on a blue chair in the football stadium. All chairs covered in graffiti. Ted's 'health' slowly spreads out as chairs clean up and change color.

Marcus Mumford joyfully sings an extended 'yeeeahhh.'

2/
2. Ted being exactly human sized.

Press conference. Ted doesn't know how many periods in a game, what to call the pitch, what offside is.

The mob is incensed. He is who he is without catching their anxiety.

3/
Read 27 tweets
Steve Cuss Profile picture
9 Sep
Differentiation on the screen.

At first it is easier to see Differentiation of Self than it is to practice it. It takes training and can feel conceptual, so seeing it in action can help.

Here are a few examples from TV and Movies

but first....

1/
Differentiation is 4 things at once:
1. Managing your reactivity from erupting into others.
2. Not catching the reactivity coming at you.
3. Staying emotionally connected to the person.
4. Clarifying your own values and convictions.

2/
Ted Lasso.

S2: Keely is differentiated. She attaches to others, but is not enmeshed in them. She manages Jamie, Roy and Roy's niece with compassion even when they come at her highly anxious.

She is a calm presence.

(A minor setback in E7)

3/
Read 13 tweets

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