10 lessons on influence from one of my favorite books
If you want people to like you, start here....
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If you want people to like you, start here....
// Thread //
1. Stop criticizing people
We all make mistakes.
Stop jumping to criticize people when they do.
It's counterproductive.
Most people become defensive and stop listening.
Instead, lead by example and offer your help.
None of us are perfect. No need to remind people.
We all make mistakes.
Stop jumping to criticize people when they do.
It's counterproductive.
Most people become defensive and stop listening.
Instead, lead by example and offer your help.
None of us are perfect. No need to remind people.
2. Praise people often
It's easy to point out weaknesses.
Do you ever point out their strengths?
Compliment them if they look nice.
Praise them when they do a good job.
Your kind words will cheer them up and give you a special place in their heart.
It's easy to point out weaknesses.
Do you ever point out their strengths?
Compliment them if they look nice.
Praise them when they do a good job.
Your kind words will cheer them up and give you a special place in their heart.
3. Remember their name
Someone ever forget your name?
It sucks. You feel unimportant.
That’s how other people feel when you forget theirs.
Make the effort to remember their name.
It’ll make them feel special and unique.
It’s one of the best compliments you could pay them.
Someone ever forget your name?
It sucks. You feel unimportant.
That’s how other people feel when you forget theirs.
Make the effort to remember their name.
It’ll make them feel special and unique.
It’s one of the best compliments you could pay them.
4. Be interested
People likes us because we like them.
How do they know we like them?
Because we ask questions and take interest in their lives.
We listen and encourage them to talk about themselves.
We make them feel special, important, and unique.
Attention is currency.
People likes us because we like them.
How do they know we like them?
Because we ask questions and take interest in their lives.
We listen and encourage them to talk about themselves.
We make them feel special, important, and unique.
Attention is currency.
5. It’s not about who you know
It’s about who likes you.
Technical skills are important.
You must be able to perform the job.
But if you’re not likeable, people won’t hire you.
So....
It’s about who likes you.
Technical skills are important.
You must be able to perform the job.
But if you’re not likeable, people won’t hire you.
So....
People want to be around people they like.
People who are fun to be around.
People who are genuinely interested in you.
Good vibes, positive energy, and good listeners.
The resume gets you in the door.
Social skills keep you there.
People who are fun to be around.
People who are genuinely interested in you.
Good vibes, positive energy, and good listeners.
The resume gets you in the door.
Social skills keep you there.
6. The best way to win an argument?
Avoid it.
Avoid it.
7. Find common ground
Conversations turn into debates and arguments quickly.
Keep stressing where you agree with the other person.
Let them know you have common ground.
Remind them you’re more alike than different.
This keeps people from becoming defensive and blowing up.
Conversations turn into debates and arguments quickly.
Keep stressing where you agree with the other person.
Let them know you have common ground.
Remind them you’re more alike than different.
This keeps people from becoming defensive and blowing up.
8. Admit when you’re wrong
Nothing worse than a sore loser.
Why? Because it shows lack of responsibility.
If you lose, admit defeat.
If you're wrong, acknowledge it.
If you made a mistake, own it.
People will respect your humble attitude and honesty.
Nothing worse than a sore loser.
Why? Because it shows lack of responsibility.
If you lose, admit defeat.
If you're wrong, acknowledge it.
If you made a mistake, own it.
People will respect your humble attitude and honesty.
9. Stop interrupting them.
Stop talking over people while they speak.
It’s rude, arrogant, and selfish.
It says “I don’t care what you say. I’m more important.”
You’ll never influence anyone with that mindset.
Instead....
Stop talking over people while they speak.
It’s rude, arrogant, and selfish.
It says “I don’t care what you say. I’m more important.”
You’ll never influence anyone with that mindset.
Instead....
Two things to try:
1. Active listening
2. See things from their perspective
People want to feel appreciated.
They also want to feel heard.
Listening and seeing their pov hits both.
1. Active listening
2. See things from their perspective
People want to feel appreciated.
They also want to feel heard.
Listening and seeing their pov hits both.
10. The secret
People don’t care about what you want.
They care about what they want.
Ask yourself: What does he/she want? What do they desire?
See the world from their eyes.
If you want people to do something, make them WANT to do it.
Put their needs first.
People don’t care about what you want.
They care about what they want.
Ask yourself: What does he/she want? What do they desire?
See the world from their eyes.
If you want people to do something, make them WANT to do it.
Put their needs first.
By the way, here's the book:
"How to win friends and influence people."
By Dale Carnegie
Life changing book. Highly recommend.
"How to win friends and influence people."
By Dale Carnegie
Life changing book. Highly recommend.
Thanks for reading.
Follow @PaulMDomenick for more tips and insights to improve your social life.
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