I knew it. Spectrum 10k's original application says these are the only required questionnaires:

" All participants will be asked to complete a baseline questionnaire which is comprised of two parts:"

1/5
" - the Developmental and Medical History Questionnaire which asks about education, occupation, physical and mental health, lifestyle, sleep, and gut health"

2/5
"- a questionnaire that measures autistic traits

The baseline questionnaire takes approximately takes 20 - 30 minutes, and can be saved at any point and returned to later."
3/5
They literally want to measure "how autistic" we are and correlate that to genes.

That's it!

No masking, no "environmental factors," just correlating old surveys created by cis white men to genes and demographics like education, as if that is all there is to quantify us.
4/5
They just want to get the cream of the crop autistics. Not those ones with pesky co-occuring conditions.

5/5
"Environmental factors" is a smoke screen. The databases they want to combine this with like SPARK don't have those questionnaires. They know it. They just aren't going to tell us that

On their application they had to select a category & literally selected

"Basic science study"

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More from @AutSciPerson

14 Oct
This might sound like something one shouldn't admit,

But do you ever feel bitter watching people have a temporary injury who then recover completely without pain?

I feel like it's treated like a "phase"

while my permanent, mundane foot injury is the rest of my life.
A temporary understandable injury is something that people have sympathy for, attention, care.

Permanent injuries, chronic illness, eventually people just get annoyed, why can't you do X/Y/Z, you navigate the world differently forever. You can't do the things you did before.
I only realized this when I crashed my bike and hurt my shoulder. Things that make sense people don't mind.

When you tell them your surgery to decrease/get rid of your pain with walking, they just look at you saying "there's really nothing that can do?" completely stunned.
Read 10 tweets
12 Oct
This was a great segment & I really want to talk about a feeling that was described by Ani Spooner regarding hiding her strawberry birth mark growing up.

It's not something I've heard talked about much but this feeling is something I relate heavily to as an autistic person. 1/18
In this segment about facial differences, she talks about how she was taught how to hide her strawberry birth mark by age 8. It took 1.5 hours to put the makeup on herself, so that people wouldn't see it.

By age 12, she started applying this makeup every single day.
2/18
She talks about how when other people saw her, they never knew she had that strawberry birth mark. And she said the thought of taking this makeup off was terrifying, because she had no idea if people were still going to like her or want to know her.
3/18
Read 18 tweets
6 Oct
When you've tried to tell people, maybe not in these exact words,

that you're not okay,

and then people continue to tell you you're fine,

you stop telling people you're not okay.

I think this happens to autistic people a lot with the NTs in our lives
And why reaching out so often has the potential to be traumatizing.

There are very few people who know how to support me effectively when I'm dealing with poor mental health.

When I reach out I often get responses I interpret as gaslighting or scolding something I did.
It doesn't help that most of the time the people who say they want to be supportive ask to zoom or meet in person or talk on the phone.

When I'm having a rough time, that's probably one of the worst things I could be doing, using energy on physically speaking words or listening.
Read 13 tweets
6 Oct
I forgot to send someone a document by a deadline, for nearly the first time in my life,

because their building was too far away for me to walk to drop it off so I was going to take the papers home and scan it,

and then I forgot about it and never did it.
by "for nearly the first time in my life"

I mean one time in high school I submitted a Latin assignment a day late because I forgot it at home.

Pretty sure that's the only other time I've forgotten something.
It's funny, (it's not) -

When you're the person who remembers "the important stuff" constantly,

no one reminds you.

"Oh I'm sure they'll remember it, they're good at this stuff"

"Do you mind reminding me about [completely irrelevant unrelated thing]?"
Read 6 tweets
2 Oct
Anyone else just ever need a demand break?

Yes I'm making up a term.

1/13
I'll give you an example:

One day recently, I woke up, mostly awake, and I laid in bed for 3 hours afterwards.

I wasn't even comfortable. I was on my phone on twitter. But I just didn't want to Do All The Things.

2/13
What are all the things?

Sitting up
Getting dressed
Deciding on breakfast
Getting a bowl
Putting it on a desk
Eating the food
Thinking about work
Being anxious about work
Trying to motivate myself to work
Finding a podcast or music to listen to

3/13
Read 20 tweets
2 Oct
An autistic person commented about the autistic burnout post I wrote

that they thought they were "faking it"

and I just think that entire comment encompasses what it is like to be autistic in this world.
You have been told so many times that X/Y/Z shouldn't bother you, or that you're a hypochondriac, or that you're [insert assumption here] that it's so easy to just believe it and tell it to yourself over and over.

Society conditions autistic people to gaslight ourselves.
The 6 months before I had an "official" autism diagnosis but knew from all the research I did I was probably autistic,

I just kept telling myself "Well you're just too anxious, people say you're a hypochondriac, you're just looking for something to be special about you!"
Read 4 tweets

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