Reminder that “your kids should leave home at 18” is a psyop by the central banks to make 10 ext. family members pay 10 rents/mortgages, 10 sets of utilities, 10 car payments, and 10 of every item needed for a home, plus entertainment and stress relief to cope with being alone.
Broken attachment made Boomers think it’s normal to get rid of your family and gain space.
That broken attachment makes Gen X and Millennials say, “I’d never want to live with my awful family!”
Broken attachment has damaged generational living.
When a family lives together you can open family businesses and have each kid manage a shop. That preps them with financing and leadership and logistics training while enriching the whole family. That’s practical and safe at the same time and doesn’t destroy generational wealth.
When you break the family you obliterate generational wealth. Every person has to start from zero. That is NOT how our species is meant to work. And the isolation crushes the bonds we need to establish a life of purpose.
So many men kill themselves.
The retirement costs they don’t tell you about:
-Paying for a healthcare nurse to help you because your estranged kids don’t care
-Paying for a nursing home when the nurse stops putting up with you
-Living alone at a nursing home for 10 years
-Hospice care so you can die alone
US parents when you’re 18-20: “It’s time for you to be alone. I won’t help you. Nobody helped me, and look how good I turned out. Now get out and don’t come back.”
US parents when you’re 50: “Ok I blew your inheritance but I’m old and need help, you got me right?”
Not healthy.
It doesn’t have to be this way. Even if your extended family is BAD, you can build this for your descendants. Educate yourself on healthy communication, good attachment, and problem solving as a team. Heal. Love.
Give your descendants what you never got. Be the new beginning.
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Based on cursory reading, it’s possible that vasopressin is responsible for bonding while under stress. Oxytocin helps us bond during love and happiness which would not activate under stress. But vasopressin can bond to oxytocin receptors and help us connect when stressed.
Vasopressin is also more prevalent in male mammals, especially social mammals. That may explain why men bond better during shared stressful activity like war while women bond better during emotional vulnerability.
When men in a family build safe structures around women, women can build self-correcting networks that heal wounds and keep the family intact and healthy.
Weak men force women to defend the structure instead of nurturing the network.
When I worked as a family therapist, I taught attachment to the women in a family first. They drank it up like a sponge and immediately applied it to start fixing the system. But that work was slowed when the men in the family stayed weak and disengaged. Strong men sped it up.
The more energy the women were able to focus into nurturing their self-correcting networks, the healthier the family became. That required men to step up to build and defend the structures. So the women felt safe and had plentiful resources for their self-correcting networks.
"I don't understand why he broke up with me but married the next girl. What was wrong with me?"
You're not unlovable. You didn't offer what he was looking for. That can happen if he's unhealthy or if you're insecure and don't share who you really are
You might be blocking love.
Most healthy men aren't even really looking for a girlfriend.
They're looking for a wife to build a life with, a woman who will complement the man's life vision and goals by supporting him with kindness, patience, nurturing, and solid principles he can rely on.
If you think you're unlovable, if you're afraid to share who you are, if you think asking for your needs to be met will make him reject you, and if you don't know what he wants because you haven't asked or had a sit-down discussion about expectations,
Women with broken attachment believe there is something wrong with them that makes them permanently unlovable. They believe everyone else can see it but not them, they don’t know what’s wrong. They just feel abandoned and unloved.
What would you do if you could never be loved?
When your attachment is broken and you believe you’re innately unloveable, you use any means necessary to earn approval. It’s living based on fear instead of principles.
And it’s not rational because the logical brain is diminished to fuel chronic anxiety in the emotional brain.
Many women in hookup culture believe they’re going to find a meaningful connection. They don’t realize they’re being used for masturbation.