So, I want to do a short thread on autistic labor.
Recently I got asked to give input for some sort of design or study from a graduate student. I was asked if I could answer a couple of questions about X and just give my personal opinion and experience.
1/12
I asked if the project had autistic input and they said yes, and that their sibling is autistic (which generally means the person running it is not autistic).
Basically, by autistic input, they meant that they were asking autistic people like me to answer questions.
2/12
I ran out of spoons to really respond to this, but I said something like "generally it's best if you can pay autistic people."
The person responded saying they don't have much money for this, they're a graduate student, and it's "only a few minutes" of my time.
3/12
So this is what I want non-autistic people to understand:
It is never only "a few minutes" of our time. It is constant inquiries about what we think, so that you can make something "for us," or write something "about us."
4/12
My requests ebb and flow, but sometimes, especially in months like April, there really are 10 non-autistic people a week asking for "only a few minutes" of my free labor.
And it's not just me. Autistic people get this all of the time.
5/12
Do you know how many emails certain research databases send to autistic people, asking to participate? Having to read the descriptions?
Do you know how many non-autistic people ask for autistic input as if We Owe Them Something? Because they are doing things to "help" us?
6/12
I don't think non-autistic people realize how ridiculous their requests are sometimes. & no, I don't think the example I gave is a ridiculous one.
But saying it doesn't take that much of my time-
That's just incorrect.
Non-autistic people ask for my free labor constantly.
7/12
And sometimes it's things that I need to educate others on to be anywhere near accommodated by them. It's explaining to a counselor that yes, sometimes I will need to use the chat box, and that person going "Oh I've never even thought of that!"
8/12
It's the refusal to pay autistic people for their expertise, and instead siphon their input into research studies, articles, and videos that only serve to pay non-autistic people both with monetary value and a feeling that the poor autistics were "helped."
9/12
Autistic people aren't allowed to have our own narrative.
We're not allowed to have our own voice represented in journalism, moves, tv shows.
We're not allowed to design and co-produce research that impacts our lives and often even causes harm.
10/12
We are allowed to give "free input" that they either accept, ignore, or refuse.
We are allowed to tell our stories only filtered through a non-autistic lens, if we want views.
We are allowed to be the spokespeople only for things which do us harm (A$, ABA, Spectrum10k).
11/12
We are allowed to speak up as long as it is comfortable for non-autistic people. As long as we don't point fingers or don't speak some harsh truths.
So no, I will not be giving "a few minutes of my time" right now. Instead I have spent those minutes writing this thread.
12/12
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You know, one of the worst things about your mental health tanking when you're in grad school is that when you kind of "zoom out" and possibly to other people,
your struggles look ridiculous and overblown. But academia constantly teaches you that you NEED it to live.
So you can't tell people easily, and if you do you can't expect sympathy because sometimes it does sound ridiculous.
And academia constantly reinforces the idea that you -need- X/Y/Z to survive, to live, to be a "productive" human being. So it's easy for your brain to believe it
And we're also taught that these artificial (and a lot of other -isms) road blocks that pop up during graduate school are part of the journey and that if you don't "overcome" them you don't deserve the education because you didn't "fight for it."
Today was the first day in my life that someone, to my face, told me that I have experienced some sort of trauma.
And I've realized that maybe to most people, it probably doesn't look like trauma.
It probably looks like encouragement.
1/18
These are the phrases I have heard throughout my life (and still as an adult sometimes) which often trigger me:
You'll be fine!
You're an expert at this!
You can do this!
You deserve it!
Don't worry about it, it's not a big deal.
Don't be so negative!
You're so smart!
2/
When you get praised for being perfect, for never failing, for always being dependable,
you always wonder if once you mess up, the people in your life who cared about you and supported you will be gone. That they won't care or won't like you anymore or won't support you.
3/
This might sound like something one shouldn't admit,
But do you ever feel bitter watching people have a temporary injury who then recover completely without pain?
I feel like it's treated like a "phase"
while my permanent, mundane foot injury is the rest of my life.
A temporary understandable injury is something that people have sympathy for, attention, care.
Permanent injuries, chronic illness, eventually people just get annoyed, why can't you do X/Y/Z, you navigate the world differently forever. You can't do the things you did before.
I only realized this when I crashed my bike and hurt my shoulder. Things that make sense people don't mind.
When you tell them your surgery to decrease/get rid of your pain with walking, they just look at you saying "there's really nothing that can do?" completely stunned.
This was a great segment & I really want to talk about a feeling that was described by Ani Spooner regarding hiding her strawberry birth mark growing up.
It's not something I've heard talked about much but this feeling is something I relate heavily to as an autistic person. 1/18
In this segment about facial differences, she talks about how she was taught how to hide her strawberry birth mark by age 8. It took 1.5 hours to put the makeup on herself, so that people wouldn't see it.
By age 12, she started applying this makeup every single day.
2/18
She talks about how when other people saw her, they never knew she had that strawberry birth mark. And she said the thought of taking this makeup off was terrifying, because she had no idea if people were still going to like her or want to know her.
3/18
" - the Developmental and Medical History Questionnaire which asks about education, occupation, physical and mental health, lifestyle, sleep, and gut health"
2/5
"- a questionnaire that measures autistic traits
The baseline questionnaire takes approximately takes 20 - 30 minutes, and can be saved at any point and returned to later."
3/5