Hawkeye season 2:

Kate: oh Jesus, you scared me.

Yelena: ha Kate Bishop, you should see your face.

Kate: can you j- like just once ca- wait are you here to kill someone.

Yelena: no. Well, that is a lie. But I am here specifically due to an agreement.

Kate 😶
Yelena: yes. To do with you.

Kate:...

Yelena: seriously, you should take a look at your face you look like one of those emojis? You know the one with the two dot eyes but no mouth.

Kate:😶

Yelena: there
Kate: what arrangement? Am I in trouble?

Yelena: that depends all on you Kate Bishop. All on you.

Kate: On what exactly?

Yelena: at Christmas? Remember you were trying to fight me and you did the flippy...

Kate: flippy throw thing.

Yelena: yes. Yes, I borrow that.
Kate: oh? How did it go for you? Thinking of like incorporating that into your arsenal?

Yelena: that is a very personal question Kate Bishop.

Kate: oh, no, no aresenal as in..

Yelena: ha! You do the face again. I make you do the O face.
Kate: oh I. I mean like... *gestures to trick arrows*

Yelena: yes. I know what arsenal means. And you have a nice arsenal Kate Bishop. Lovely. So are we going for this drink or what?

Kate: is this "drink" like another veiled interrogation like the boxed Macaroni thing.
Yelena: you know your problem Kate Bishop?

Kate: I know several. Numerous problems. That are problems. That I have.

Yelena: You get sidetracked too Easily. Like I was reminding you of that time you did the flippy throw thing to me and I landed that sweet kick...
Kate: that was a sweet kick I gotta... oh, now I see it. Yeah. Side tracked.

Yelena: so you blocked my path, despite numerous warnings and then said it's Christmas, shall we go for a drink? And I said 'yes' and then I beat you some more and...

Kate: you said yes.
Yelena: keep up buttercup or this date is not going to go well.

Kate: date? 😶

Yelena: aha, I make you make the o face again.

Kate: Right. Fine. One drink, but no more emoji face prompting.

Yelena: that... how sentence is all wrong. Emojis capture like the whole range of...
Yelena: range of human expression, so that would be very limiting for me. No?

Kate: one drink.

Yelena: also limiting, but it is a start.

They walk off. Beat.

Kate: why do I like you?
Yelena: I make good macaroni.
*'Whole' not 'how'

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More from @delaneykingrox

24 Dec
Okay so fun word stuff. The Swedish Jarl being blood eagled is Borg, the name means fort or stronghold it comes from earlier words for "mound" or "mountain", hence 'Iceberg'. words like German burg (city) English Borough and so forth.
So he was literally...

Broke Back Mountain
Lawgiver: Jarl Borg, the gods have spoken, your fate is...

Borg: blood eagle. I get it.

Lawgiver: I'm sorry, it is just too funny.

Borg: yes for like the one chick who got the joke.
Borg: seer, what is my fate?

Seer: your fame will sleep, until the artist who turns light into monsters writes upon her magic stone and tells the world

Borg: I don't understand.

Seer: nobody will. But the cow herd cannot quit you.

Borg: what?

Seer: LICK MY PALM BITCH
Read 4 tweets
24 Dec
Shuffling bad colon based sequel names always makes better movies.

Ghostbusters: Kingdom of The Crystal Skull

Dora The Explorer: Ragnarok

Resident Evil: Tokyo Drift

Garfield: Rise of The Lycans

Grease: The Winter Soldier

Underworld: Bogus Journey
Die Hard 2: The Klumps

Legally Blonde 2: Breaking Dawn

Gerry: Back In The Habit

Twilight: The Legend of Curly's Gold
The Human Centipede: Bigger, Longer and Uncut

1984: 1984

Barbie: the hangman's daughter
Read 5 tweets
23 Dec
I get sick every single time I visit Canberra without fail. Without fail. So no, I don't want to live here.
Also have you BEEN to Canberra? It's not a city, it's three towns strapped together with a cesspit in the middle (parliament house)
Canberra is what happens when tope and tan suits becomes a place.
Read 18 tweets
23 Dec
Vikings episode bingo

□Parents playing with their kids
□Ragnar eating
□Bros being bros
□Ambitious dude shows up
□Ginger dude roars
□homosexually charged staring
□sacred oaths swarn on rings that everyone, and I mean literally everyone breaks ten minutes later
□slo mo
□the 'Vikings have weird casual sex scene'
□the one hot sex scene
□ that one cart everyone abandons during a raid.
□Ragnar goes to smile then stops himself.
□That one bit of mythology per episode being explained in a story.
□two pigs heads on table
□accepting fate scene
□bit of battle that someone yells shield wall but that one guy gets an arrow in shoulder and throws himself forward.
□bit of battle where the sound goes out whilst someone looks around at bad shit
□bit of battle where everyone vanishes except for people talking
Read 13 tweets
23 Dec
The amazing thing about rewatching Vikings is Gabriel Byrne's Haraldson is a pure evil villain in season one. Yet after watching the entire run and rewatching him in that context of the world and all the other bastards he plays completely differently
Byrne gives us a faded lord, a once hero who has been beaten down by the conspiracies and failings of his people. He has lost his spirit, and that is his failing.

He predicts those who would plot against him, he moves against cheats and liars with restraint compared to...
...the later lords. He makes a strategic marriage for his daughter to profit his people. But, for all that he rules with fear and does nothing to inspire or cheer his people. He is resigned, a threat, and not loved because of it.

His failing is being right.
Read 5 tweets
22 Dec
#ttrpgHomebrew in today's homebrew cook up, let's look at making dnd more Satanic.
So that maths is wrong, I forgot that 666 is the only triple we want in the result, so it is 1/216, not 6/216
That said, that very mechanic can give you a slightly better dice curve in dnd.

The sum of 3d6 gives you between 3 and 18 on a bell curve. This means you are most likely to roll somewhere around 9ish and least likely to roll 3 or 18.
GURPS uses this as the basic mechanic
Read 7 tweets

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