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Delaney King 👩🏻 Hail Santa Profile picture
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24 Dec, 5 tweets, 1 min read
Shuffling bad colon based sequel names always makes better movies.

Ghostbusters: Kingdom of The Crystal Skull

Dora The Explorer: Ragnarok

Resident Evil: Tokyo Drift

Garfield: Rise of The Lycans

Grease: The Winter Soldier

Underworld: Bogus Journey
Die Hard 2: The Klumps

Legally Blonde 2: Breaking Dawn

Gerry: Back In The Habit

Twilight: The Legend of Curly's Gold
The Human Centipede: Bigger, Longer and Uncut

1984: 1984

Barbie: the hangman's daughter
John Wick: Skull Island

Batman vs Superman: the worst years of my life

Jack Reacher: Bad Grampa

One Direction: Mall Cop 2

Paul Blart: The Desolation of Smaug
Indiana Jones: Sorority Rising

X-Men: What Now?

Smurfs: Confessions of a Marriage Counselor

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More from @delaneykingrox

Delaney King 👩🏻 Hail Santa Profile picture
24 Dec
Okay so fun word stuff. The Swedish Jarl being blood eagled is Borg, the name means fort or stronghold it comes from earlier words for "mound" or "mountain", hence 'Iceberg'. words like German burg (city) English Borough and so forth.
So he was literally...

Broke Back Mountain
Lawgiver: Jarl Borg, the gods have spoken, your fate is...

Borg: blood eagle. I get it.

Lawgiver: I'm sorry, it is just too funny.

Borg: yes for like the one chick who got the joke.
Borg: seer, what is my fate?

Seer: your fame will sleep, until the artist who turns light into monsters writes upon her magic stone and tells the world

Borg: I don't understand.

Seer: nobody will. But the cow herd cannot quit you.

Borg: what?

Seer: LICK MY PALM BITCH
Read 4 tweets
Delaney King 👩🏻 Hail Santa Profile picture
24 Dec
Hawkeye season 2:

Kate: oh Jesus, you scared me.

Yelena: ha Kate Bishop, you should see your face.

Kate: can you j- like just once ca- wait are you here to kill someone.

Yelena: no. Well, that is a lie. But I am here specifically due to an agreement.

Kate 😶
Yelena: yes. To do with you.

Kate:...

Yelena: seriously, you should take a look at your face you look like one of those emojis? You know the one with the two dot eyes but no mouth.

Kate:😶

Yelena: there
Kate: what arrangement? Am I in trouble?

Yelena: that depends all on you Kate Bishop. All on you.

Kate: On what exactly?

Yelena: at Christmas? Remember you were trying to fight me and you did the flippy...

Kate: flippy throw thing.

Yelena: yes. Yes, I borrow that.
Read 11 tweets
Delaney King 👩🏻 Hail Santa Profile picture
23 Dec
I get sick every single time I visit Canberra without fail. Without fail. So no, I don't want to live here.
Also have you BEEN to Canberra? It's not a city, it's three towns strapped together with a cesspit in the middle (parliament house)
Canberra is what happens when tope and tan suits becomes a place.
Read 18 tweets
Delaney King 👩🏻 Hail Santa Profile picture
23 Dec
Vikings episode bingo

□Parents playing with their kids
□Ragnar eating
□Bros being bros
□Ambitious dude shows up
□Ginger dude roars
□homosexually charged staring
□sacred oaths swarn on rings that everyone, and I mean literally everyone breaks ten minutes later
□slo mo
□the 'Vikings have weird casual sex scene'
□the one hot sex scene
□ that one cart everyone abandons during a raid.
□Ragnar goes to smile then stops himself.
□That one bit of mythology per episode being explained in a story.
□two pigs heads on table
□accepting fate scene
□bit of battle that someone yells shield wall but that one guy gets an arrow in shoulder and throws himself forward.
□bit of battle where the sound goes out whilst someone looks around at bad shit
□bit of battle where everyone vanishes except for people talking
Read 13 tweets
Delaney King 👩🏻 Hail Santa Profile picture
23 Dec
The amazing thing about rewatching Vikings is Gabriel Byrne's Haraldson is a pure evil villain in season one. Yet after watching the entire run and rewatching him in that context of the world and all the other bastards he plays completely differently
Byrne gives us a faded lord, a once hero who has been beaten down by the conspiracies and failings of his people. He has lost his spirit, and that is his failing.

He predicts those who would plot against him, he moves against cheats and liars with restraint compared to...
...the later lords. He makes a strategic marriage for his daughter to profit his people. But, for all that he rules with fear and does nothing to inspire or cheer his people. He is resigned, a threat, and not loved because of it.

His failing is being right.
Read 5 tweets
Delaney King 👩🏻 Hail Santa Profile picture
22 Dec
#ttrpgHomebrew in today's homebrew cook up, let's look at making dnd more Satanic.
So that maths is wrong, I forgot that 666 is the only triple we want in the result, so it is 1/216, not 6/216
That said, that very mechanic can give you a slightly better dice curve in dnd.

The sum of 3d6 gives you between 3 and 18 on a bell curve. This means you are most likely to roll somewhere around 9ish and least likely to roll 3 or 18.
GURPS uses this as the basic mechanic
Read 7 tweets

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