Thread by @stevemagness

I spent my life setting goals.

As an athlete, that's all I did.

Goals are great. Until they aren't. What few discuss is how goals can backfire and get in our way.

Here are a few common mistakes we all make when setting goals and what we can do about them:

1. Our Goals are too difficult

Goals work in situations where progress is relatively easy. When there's a good shot that you can reach it

They can serve as gentle nudges. Where goal setting often fails is in big goals, even though people tell you to set audacious goals. Why?

When it gets to things that are really hard to achieve, where the outcome is in question, goals often backfire.

They transform into reminders that you aren't making progress. That you're failing.

If your goal seems out of reach, it becomes easier to default to 'why try' mode. We default to protection.

Your mind looks for the easy way out, the path of least resistance.

Think: A marathoner who quickly realizes there's no way they'll reach their goal. They slow down...

2. We focus on outcomes

We set sales targets, race times, follower counts. We're told to make our goals measurable so we can be accountable.

There are a few problems with this:

First, we give undue importance to whatever it is we measure. We start teaching to the test. Forgetting what it is that actually matters.

Such a focus often gets in the way of actual progress. We start forcing. Trying to manufacture improvement.

We run more, work longer, start taking shortcuts to move the needle on the outcome measure. We forget the original reason we set the goal.

We abandon the simple, basic steps that actually lead to improvement, in search of the shiny objects, pills, etc. that promise improvement

3. Our goals are rigid.

We are told to make our goals specific, defined, clear. That clarity is supposed to help. I want to achieve X by Y time.

This can be beneficial. It can keep you on track. But it can also backfire.

Rigidity leads to fragility. The moment their is a crack in the edifice, it all falls apart.

If you fall off the wagon, you spiral.

Research shows that flexibility is better. If you have wiggle room, or a 'free pass' you aren't as likely to fall off the wagon.

Those whose goal is to work out 7 days a week, but they have two "free passes" to use to a skip a workout every week do much better than those whose goal is to workout either 7 days or 5 days a week.

The out allows them to stay in it without spiraling. journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.15…

Even if rigidity works...it often shifts our motivation. From want to, to need to.

Rigidity breeds obsession. Obsession changes our motivation.

If you can't step away, take an off day, that's a signal rigidity is harming, not helping you.

The end result of goals is often that our goals can become weights that weigh us down

They become reminders that we aren't on track. And we respond by being motivated out of a place of fear of failure, defaulting to 'why try mode', or looking for shortcuts

This is often the case for driven pushers. Those who believe going all-in/hustling is the key to performance.

Some strategies to consider to combat this:
1. Lower the bar. For everyday pursuits, make your goals attainable.
2. Set more than one goal. Have backups. Plan B, C, D.

3. For challenging goals, ditch the outcomes. Get a little more nebulous and focus on the process. Make it about the effort.
4. Be flexible and adaptable. Harsh/Rigid goals work for simple easily obtainable things. Give yourself an out for major changes.

5. Consider shifting your mindset.

Get away from goals. Write down your interests. Dabble in them, see which ones grow. Inevitably, a spark of interest will turn into a passionate pursuit. When that happens, ask yourself what takeaway from this do you want?

Let it happen. Trusting that if you put yourself in the way of enough interesting pursuits, that the rest will take care of itself can go a long way.

As I look back on my own career. From writing to job offers to professional pursuits, few have come from goals.

They all came from doing interesting things. Sharing that with others. And opportunities popping up. Many which I had never considered.

Letting it happen, instead of chasing it or forcing it to happen.

Whether you set goals or not is up to you. I set goals for small things in my life. But for big things, I just do the work, follow my interests, and trust it will work out.

Whatever you choose, make sure it is working with you, not against. That it's freeing you up to perform.

If you'd like to learn more, I'd suggest following @katy_milkman's work on the fresh start effect.

@BStulberg has some great philosophical views on goals in life. I loved this essay of his: thegrowtheq.com/the-benefits-o…

If you enjoy deep dives on all things physical and mental performance, consider following.

Here's to a 2022 filled with pursuing interesting things, whether that's with goals or not!

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