Thread by @cicerfics

Another thought I was obsessed with during my hiatus:

Post-CQL. WWX and LWJ finally reunite. LWJ has just resigned as Chief Cultivator, and WWX has just finished sneakily building a cottage in a village near Cloud Recesses.

He's set up a little farm outside with some chickens and goats and things. The house is simple, but solidly built.

And he shows it to LWJ, and (with much stammering and rambling) asks if LWJ would maybe consider someday doing him the honor of living with him in that house.

Tears! Kissing! Joy! Etc.!

LWJ is happily packing his little qiankun bag so they can elope immediately.

Except there's a small hitch.

WWX doesn't want to elope.

...Well, he kinda DOES want to elope. But he also wants to give LWJ the bomb-ass wedding of the century! He wants to have all the little rituals, and LWJ looking beautiful in his red silk robes, and all the trimmings!

He wants LWJ's family to be there, if possible!

He wants the kind of wedding that will take at least a few months to plan, because LWJ deserves that!

And, horrifyingly, he wants to WAIT UNTIL THE WEDDING NIGHT to consummate their love.

He loves LWJ so much, and RESPECTS him so much, and he just desperately wants LWJ to have everything done properly! LWJ sacrificed so much for WWX already! He DESERVES the best!

LWJ, fighting back tears and also the urge to disrobe: No, I don't. Please respect me less.

Alas, WWX is determined! They must have a beautiful, elaborate wedding and THEN devirginize each other once they're properly married!

LWJ:

LQR, recognizing that a wangxian wedding cannot be prevented, is grudgingly satisfied that at least That Boy intends to do things properly this time around.

He sets about choosing a wedding date, calmly and methodically. He is in no particular hurry.

He ignores his nephew, who is in the background like:

Also, I'm just gonna say it:

I think WWX has the potential to be a groomzilla. I really do.

I think that, in his efforts to give LWJ the Wedding Of The Century, he goes off the deep end a little bit.

I think JC (who has a wedding scrapbook that he used for JYL's wedding that's been collecting dust for the last 18 years) does nothing to quell these tendencies.

I think that for the next three months, LWJ is moping around Cloud Recesses, thinking about WWX's [redacted], while WWX and JC are in Lotus Pier shrieking at each other over fabric samples and floral arrangements.

It's the 'American Chopper' meme, except instead of yelling about golden cores or dead relatives (as one might expect) they are yelling about what sort of embroidering should go on the cuffs of the wedding robes.

They both have Very Strong Opinions on this matter.

JL gets called in to cast the tiebreaking vote, except he has a THIRD opinion that differs from both of theirs, and now everyone is yelling.

Meanwhile, LWJ is staring sadly into the sunset, wondering when he will finally be [redacted].

...Anyway. I don't know how this ends.

Eventually, wangxian do have their big beautiful traditional wedding. They do get to [redacted] each other. They move into their little cottage and they're very happy for the rest of forever.

...And then LSZ gets engaged to JL, and now JC and WWX are dusting off the Wedding Scrapbook and arguing about fabric samples all over again, and telling the boys they better Wait Till The Wedding Night.

LWJ is quietly urging his beloved child to elope while nobody is looking, because he Understands The Struggle. His poor A-Yuan must not suffer as he did.😔

The end!