Thread by @delaneykingrox

Book of Boba Fett failed the basics of storytelling and as a result all the cool visuals and events were wasted.

Without emotional connection there is no tension, without tension there is no release.

I will give one example:

When The Mandalorian, who we care about, is in his darkest moment in the shootout- he is saved by force powers.

He looks up, and there is Grogu and R2D2.

BOOOOOM!

We get the payoff- Grogu chose.

Instead we get a weird scene were comic relief woman meets him and then when he is reunited with Dinn he doesn't have time to warmly greet him.

Din should have his helmet ripped off, and he is bloody and is in his lowest point, feeling abandoned.

And then he sees Grogu.

This is just one of the examples of a strong payoff.

I really wish all this coolness had been built with some depth and understanding of human drama.

I have to go work, but here is a quick fix it list:

1. Pikes not scary or mean- need to show a threat, a villain worthy of our heroes becoming heroes against.

2. Need to show the suffering of the people, if our hero is to save them.

3. Need to move main story forward constantly, rather than long flash backs- keep us on Fett and how he is making a difference.

4. Core story is about syndicate villain using 'divide and conquer'. Fett learns the tribe is stronger and unites sand people, farms and criminals

5. The arc is about a gun for fire turning his back on lonliness and working for money and becoming a leader.

It is about Tattooine stepping up and becoming more than a hive of scum and villainy.

Fett has to inspire the people that they are better as a community.

6. All the secondary characters give vulnerability and stakes- they don't have armour or plot invulnerability- so make us care about them through interactions.

7. Where are all the extras?

Final example before I go to work (this thread is one coffee long)

The mods are connected to the warrens- very tight three story passages- partially underground like Luke's farm. Darker tone, more urban, more about spice and crime.

The droid arm chick...

... is clearly in love with another mod character who is being drawn into spice addiction- has sold their scooter and parts and the gang is falling apart.

Shand is patched up by the mods and meets Boba- whilst she recovers, Shand and droid arm talk. Shand...

...says that being a loner is the only way to be safe in the galaxy. Trust nobody.
The girl points out that Boba, who Shand barely knows by reputation alone, saved her, paid for her and left with no attempt to recover a debt. She says that if she was alone she would be dead

Now we have the drama between shand and droid arm chick- Shand sees a lot of herself in the girl, and doesn't want her hurt by her connection to the gang. The girl wants shand to see that family, gang, tribe is important.

Shand leaves.

Later, the gang are in deep shit with the spice dealers, and droidarm girl stands up to them. It goes badly. Then the villains start getting picked off one by one in the background- a shadowy figure taking them out Rambo style- apparently able to be in two places at once.

It is Shand, and she has bought Boba with her, having sought him out off camera.

We now see that she has learned the lesson, Boba has- again, off camera in the years with the tribe that he doesn't want to talk about and we have only seen in glimpses (yet).

Later, droid arm chick meets freetowner after the shocking law passed by Fett that Sandpeople are now equals and may enter the towns and cities without being shot on sight as has been law since the Mos Espa was founded.

This law causes a furore from the people...

...and the mods are no different.

But when the Freetowners show up and prepare for the final attack on the syndicate- we get a scene with droid girl having a quarrel with a growling, jabbering sandperson...

The freetowner steps in and uses sign language to clear up the...

...misunderstanding. showing that the freetowners have learned to speak with the sandpeople from the dragon episode.

"Look, this means, my child has no arm, how did you get droid arm?- the sandpeople have very weak hearing... they rely on loud barks to get attention..."

The droidarm girl now understands, and forms a friendship with both the freetowner woman (seen in the rooftop shootout) and the sand person. We see a sandpeople child with a mod arm later in the cebration, showing a unification and healing is happening between the peoples.

This character should have been a crime lord who opposes Fett, but then the syndicate destroy her power centre. She becomes Bona's advisor and political strategist after she is inspired by him in a deep and meaningful talk.

This is symbolically powerful as the last female twilek in Jabba's throne room was a dancing sex slave.

Now we see one as a powerful woman.

Boba's ship should be stripped down for parts, lingering in Jabba's scrap yard.

Boba hires the comic relief mechanic to rebuild it. The jawas help. As a result, it shows the reconstruction of the man, symbolically.

This also means he doesn't have it as air support.

(I needed headache pills and second cup of coffee so you get slightly more thread).

So Garsa (I googled her name) and Shand represent two paths. Garsa is politics, negotiation and seduction. Shand is the knife in the dark, and the cut fuel line.

Boba needs to be...

...the unmovable force, the ruler who is fair and uncorruptable. This needs to be shown. He needs to be bribed, to be given outs, to be tortured, to suffer losses.

He stands tall and that is what the planet needs. He inspires. He says few words, but those he say are absolute

We need to show him as suffering. When nobody is there he peels off his armour and is badly wounded. His skin is blistered, his mind fuzzy, he has nightmares (short flashes only). His hand to hand combat skills are strong but his gun hand shakes

He thinks. He watches.

When alone and the palace is dark and empty, he goes down to the angry, afraid Rancor, peels off his armour and sits with it, just out of chain reach.

This is how he tames it. It is how he tames his own anger. flashes at his past come there, in the darkness of the rancor pit

In time, the rancor and he become friends. And we love this rancor, so it should be something that the enemy harming (never the heroes) makes us scared for.

Eventually he rides the rancor through the town with his helmet off, to inspire people. To show them his power.

He doesn't have a litter of slaves carrying him. He rides a fucking rancor.

Wouldn't you follow an honourable man who saves everyone into battle against the syndicate?

Against the people who push water prices through the roof, forcing you to labour in the mines? Using spice to make poverty so everyone must work to pay their addictions?

RIDING A RANCOR

Now the villain. What if the mayor is recast as the main villain. The syndicate taking over the town, controlling the water, using gun implacements to tax the ships landing?

The creepy, inhuman hammerhead shot from lower angles, with skilfully acted slow hand gestures across..

..a map. He represents the corruption of money, and the divide and conquer concept- make the people turn against each other and the syndicate numbers can be few.
He raises the stakes, he plots, he bribes, he buys gun droids.

He is the final boss for Boba.

And the final battle with him has him in a armoured walker- a shorter AT-AT like thing.

Fett has to strip off his beskar to get into the tight gap blown in the hull. The final fight is his weakened, wounded self with no armour, inside the walker.

Boba wins by toppling the walker, and it crashes down onto the city hall and explodes.

The next scene is the people carrying a mortally wounded boba back to the palace on a litter.

They put him in a bacta tank, and HIS court waits in worried silence. They care about him.

We end on the streets of Mos Eisley as the sun goes down, celebrating in the streets. Bunting is up and fairy lights, street food, dancing and bands playing.

The sand people, the jawas, the towns folk and city folk together. As Boba Fett appears, cheers happen..

...his armour has been patched and repainted whilst he was unconscious. His scars are healed.

He looks out across Tattooine with his new family, his followers and sees the two suns.

The end.

No, wait...

We see Fett look down and see the Mandalorian settling Grogu into the ship, tucking him in.

Fett talks to Shand about the core theme... choosing to not be alone.

The Mandalorian flys off into the twin sunset.

Coffee is done. Kiss a rancor.

Hire me Disney ;)

ko-fi.com/dellak