Thread by @docbhooshan

#thread
#violence
In this tweet I asked about need of legal action in cases of child-on-parent-violence.

Most answers are representative of our social beliefs.
Fellow CAP @VinayakChildPsy supported my stand. Gratitude.

Let me explain -

https://twitter.com/docbhooshan/status/1484838072609296385

Myths -
1. Family conditions push boys to violence in "good" families
2. Violent adolescents need help from counsellors and psychiatrists and not be reported to police
3. If mother uses corporal punishment on a child, he is somehow justified in beating her up later

4. Juveniles get away with "anything". Law does not get involved at all.

All these misconceptions are cultural and due to lack of knowledge.
Violence towards women at home by male members of family is one of our biggest social ills.

Though adequate provisions are there in law to protect women, somehow women dont use that help. Another anomaly.

Young boys getting violent towards ladies in the home is absolutely unacceptable. Mental health issues not withstanding.

And I say this as children's psychiatrist.

Violence has no place in family. It is to be condemned. Simple.

People talk about ADHD, childhood issues with mother, influence of friends/media/games as justifications of boys' violence. I disagree.

A boy must face law if he is violent. Mental health help, etc. comes AFTER that.

In my experience (Pune, Maharashtra), Police step in and provide appropriate help when help is asked by family. Boys need to experience early in their growing up that violence has serious cost. Mental health is no shield that protects you from consequences of violent behaviour.

All boys need to realise that violence is unacceptable in civil society that feeds and raises them and offers all opportunities of growth and glory.

Women need to realise this as well. I understand the cultural issues behind accepting beating up by men.

I also understand difficult emotions like shame and guilt that stop them from getting help.

I also understand that families don't instinctively think of Police as first port of call.
They are more worried about "leaving a scar" on child's mind due to police intervention.

Practical experience over last 20+ years tells me otherwise.
Realisation that aggression has serious negative consequences, women are not punching bags, police respond to cry for help and give sensible help is a positive growth influence on these boys.

I dare say that it creates an excellent opportunity to get appropriate mental health help and mend their ways.
This will make them better members of society as they enter adulthood.
Police have preventative and constructive role here and they do it well.

Only if we could dare to rise beyond mediaeval biases and actually help boys live in 21st century.

P.S. - police help involves visit by police staff to the home. De-escalation. Talking to the boy. Giving appraisal of his actions, consequences. Referal to mental health help.

Most people believe that police will put the boy in prison/remand home, etc. That's as far from truth as can be.

#JaiHind

cc @CPPuneCity .

Would love to hear from @DrGirishPsych about his experience about child on parent violence.