Thread by @SANEAlex_

1/n It seems that these are trying times in #Ukraine at the moment, for those in that country with a slightly dark sense of humour this #Discworld reading list may be morale building & also informative in your current situation

2/n #GNUTerryPratchett also has a range of books more suitable to the younger reader & may also be a good distraction if you can get hold of them in your current situation see full reading list below.

3/n The real point of this thread is to get some ideas to @DefenceU & people of #Ukraine on how to #StopTheWar by persuading the Russians currently in #Ukraine to cease their actions & go home, by the very careless use of words to paint a vivid picture of some of their possible

4/n futures if they don’t stop. The #TLDR version is this is a method to persuade the #RussianWarCriminals in #Ukraine that they will be #BurnedAlive or worse, unless they agree to stop fighting submit to being arrested for vandalism & disturbing the peace in which case they will

5/n have the rights of civilian prisoners & allowed a phone call home. See this doc below for full text of this twitter thread including all the graphic details.

drive.google.com/file/d/1X3jEzw…

6/n I normally try to be a nice person, I have tried & failed to make the world a better place with ideas that were intended to construct a better future #SoItGoes, it has been an interesting life journey so I can’t complain too much. But seeing some injustices can cause the

7/n unleashing of the darker side of a person & make them think the unthinkable the kinds of thoughts & ideas. Below are some such examples which I release into the public domain to be used & improved upon by the Ukrainian people in their war of survival. These ideas are not nice

8/n, as they say people of a nervous disposition look away now, unless of course you wish to defend your country or are a currently active #RussianWarCriminal in which case you may find it useful to your future survival.

9/n It will take some time to lay the groundwork. I have the honour of becoming a character in the #GNUTerryPratchett Going Postal book where my fictional counterpart was a co-inventor of a weapon that could destroy important communications infrastructure it was called the

10/n WOODPECKER now I am not as good a writer as pTerry in fact I am dyslexic &aphasic so it is quite likely that there will be more than a few typos & mistakes in this angry RANT but I hope the ideas get through so as a place holder I will crib from pTerry & name what I offer as

11/n the WOODPECKER2 not quite as subtle as its predecessor but intended to make #RussianWarCriminals knees knock together in fear & terror so much that #Ukrainians will think that they have been invaded by a large flock of woodpeckers.

12/n Before I go into details I wish to make clear that I don’t hate Russia or the Russian people but the Kleptocrats & war criminals currently exploiting & running Russia I am happy to see have a bad day here is a plan to cause a very bad day indeed to the current regime.

13/n I gather from the @BBCRadio4 news that #Ukrainians were shown how to make Molotov cocktails may I suggest scaling up a tad & make a few Molotov Grande Venti Crop-dusters by which I mean as the worlds wheat basket(probably one of the main reasons Putin wants to steal the

14/n country that & its other natural resources), it is entirely possible that you still have access to crop-dusters that could be filled with flammable liquids which could then be flown over some of those long military columns which to me look like a target rich environment. It

15/n would take a brave #Ukrainian person to do this but I don’t think that there is a shortage of brave #Ukrainians. Now some may call me a dumb armchair warrior for such a simplistic plan & I have to admit my brain is not what it was, I initially thought of this in anger in

16/n empathy with #Ukrainian people for if #RussianWarCriminals were deliberately targeting schools, hospitals & were such #DarwinAward candidates that they were attacking nuclear disaster areas & functioning nuclear power stations in my country I would volunteer to fly a

17/n Molotov crop-duster & I have only flown a biplane once which I did not land. #BurningAlive a shed load of #WarCriminals may have a discouraging effect on others of their ilk continuing but remembering a quote from the Russian born Isaac Asimov "Violence is the last refuge of

18/n the incompetent."it may be possible to hold back from such desperate measures for a little while yet, lets call this provisional Plan A it has plenty of room for refinement which I may explain later,As Terry Pratchett was a much better person than I am, in the book,#Spoilers

19/n the WOODPECKER was not used, the bad guys were brought down by the clever use of emotive words instead of by destroying important infrastructure that would have caused considerable collateral harm to innocent people. Now pTerry is gone & a skilled wordsmith I am not,it maybe

20/n a million to one shot but I thought I’d have a go at helping the #Ukranian people win the war by demoralising the their enemy a little bit, It helps standing on the shoulders of a literary giant who had plenty of great ideas to steal from I do not claim to speak for pTerry

21/n but I’d like to recycle some of his ideas to try & benefit the people of #Ukraine & other civilised societies around the world including the currently active #WarCriminals who may be persuaded to change their ways after considering the possible future consequences of their

22/n actions which I intend to describe in graphic detail. In the movie Dr Strangelove one of the mistakes causing the fictional end of civilisation was that it was not communicated properly that if bombed a doomsday device would automatically activated causing the end of the

23/n world. It seems to me that lack of clear communication is one of the biggest problems in this world so before embarking on a campaign of #BurningAlive the #RussianWarCriminals currently in #Ukraine it would be better to attempt a peaceful solution by using words to

24/n communicate to them the consequences of their actions if they continue being #WarCriminals but give them an honourable peaceful out, even if quite a few of them don’t deserve the opportunity I suggest that President Zelenskyy offer a way to give a better future to all

25/n participants in the war on both sides. In the Going Postal book a metaphorical Angel pops up a few times giving various characters a choice between two different futures one where things go well & one where things go down a very bad dark route.

26/n Well I am no angel as you will see from some of my thought processes below I would like to make the #RussianWarCriminals think that I am some kind of Nova Baba Yaga boogeyman manifesting to give them new & overly interesting nightmares but as the fictional boogeyman of

27/n pTerry’s #Discworld can have a benevolent side like pTerry’s Angel I will offer a choice between a good & bad future I hope they choose wisely. In another one of pTerry’s books Jingo, Captain Carrot arrested 2 armies at war for disturbing the peace. I am hoping to adapt this

28/n idea to bring about the stop of hostilities in #Ukraine it is unconventional I admit but its the best I could come up with so far. It would be naive to think that an unarmed #Ukranian civilian could walk up to a heavily armoured Russian Army column & ask them to surrender as

29/n “surrender” is an emotive word with lots of connotations so for something like this to work it needs a bit of preparation.

According to Putin the army is conducting a limited “special military operation” with the honourable mission of “de-Nazifying” Ukraine. Let me fix that

30/n The #WarCriminal President Putin’s army is conducting a unjustifiable illegal war of invasion with the dishonourable mission of “Nazifying” Ukraine doing his best Hitler impression.

31/n Now as the Jewish President Zelenskyy is unjustly being made out to be some kind Nazi Hitler wannabe may I suggest we paint a picture of the world with words the kind of future the #RussianWarCriminals would face & be victims of if Nazi like orders & treatment were issued

32/n out regularly by Zelenskyy, I & many others as independent observers of the conflict see the Russian “Z” as a wannabe Swastika that is how far Russia’s image has fallen to the civilised world under the leadership of Putin & his gang of kleptocrats.

33/n President Zelenskyy I want you to keep a straight face & do a full-on carpet munching downfall Hitler impression not a Mel Brooks comic version which I suspect you are better suited to. I know Putin has the advantage of the dead eyes along with the experience of sending

34/n assassins all around the world killing people indiscriminately. He even has his own Hitler youth wannabe clones in matching Putin labelled hoodies but I want you to convince any #RussianWarCriminals in your country that you are more scary than Putin & that your people will

35/n give them a truly horrific future if they don’t make the right choice of stopping fighting ASAP. I know in your current situation it would be hard & a waste of resources to get made up branded hoodies with your face & name then get a bunch of kids kids to do a song & dance

36/n in your praises. Maybe we can improvise with what is available that Russian “Z” is getting the Swastika make over. Putin’s illegal aggression against Ukraine is rapidly moving Russia into pariah state like North Korea

37/n maybe some of the dead Russians who have died in the “not a war” were wearing “Z” branded clothing, waste not want recycle & reuse luckily your name begins with a “Z” lets go for the minimalist Zelenskyy Nazi look. What is next? Ah yes for your own Hitler youth we will need

38/n some teenagers don’t worry if they complain about the blood stained “Z” clothing to convince them threaten them that you will take away their phones really find your inner Nazi😜

39/n What is that? you sent the children away to places as safe as you could find. Damn It!, it is really is hard to portray you as an authentic Nazi those Russian PR teams must really earn their money whipping the typists at the bot farms oh well just find some short adults

40/n I think there is a meme for this⤵️. I suspect he is much more convincing as a kid than many of the Russian bot farms despite their copious amounts of practice.

41/n Moving on beyond the dark humour of which is the more realistic portrayal of a Nazi you or Putin for this idea to work you will have to really convince your audience that the horrific things that have been done to your people have made you so angry that you will follow

42/n though with the following threats & actions, be more like your enemy if only for a short while hopefully if all goes well.

43/n Step 1 Enact a emergency law saying that it is a capital offence to commit war crimes in your country & that the primary method of execution for these crimes is death by Soweto Necklace*1, I am not normally someone who believes in capital punishment or vigilante justice as

44/n often crimes are done because of mental illness or there is the possibility of punishing the wrong person but it is hard to believe an entire army is mad as they look & as they are there in your country committing war crimes it is easy to be sure you have caught the guilty

45/n parties when you do. Also this is not intended as a cruel & unusual punishment as revenge for the atrocities that they have already done but as a way to dissuade others from continuing to carry out war-crimes as I would hope facing a death like that would focus any rational

46/n mind on their previous life decisions. *1 (A Soweto Necklace is a rather barbaric form of execution involving tying your victim's hands behind their back & putting a lit tyre around their neck)

47/n Step 2 There is a #RussianWarCriminal who you have caught already like @Kasparov63 has said before escalating things try sending him to the Hague but with a message attached on how things are about to escalate if the conflict

https://twitter.com/Kasparov63/status/1500268807025315842?s=20&t=ryfbx3Cks1gAQLFvVrcA5g

48/n does not end quickly as that is a big forehead I suggest tattooing a Z=Swastika with a little stick man with Z cap & burning tyre around his neck before sending him to the Hague maybe some of the coverage would get through the Russian firewalls & send a message back home

49/n that they might want to find out what is really happening in #Ukraine not what they are being fed by liars like Putin

50/n Step 3 What really needs to happen is for the #RussianWarCriminals in your country to stop what they are doing immediately for this you need to communicate to them the consequences of their actions &give them the choice of choosing between to two futures, So you will need to

51/n translate the relevant bits of this document & I suggest embellish the later Nova Baba Yaga word picture nightmares into Russian in colloquial form add a few more of your own making if you can really out nasty me as the document might be more persuasive to any

52/n #RussianWarCriminals & more likely to achieve its objectives.
The document needs to clearly show that a true choice is being given, going back to the bit in Jingo about Captain Carrot arresting two armies for disturbing the peace. & surrender being an emotive word may I

53/n suggest something along the lines that any Russian army member who reads this document is being given a choice between two futures. Putin has said that this is not a war of invasion but a “special military operation” despite being widely seen as such under the scrutiny of

54/n the outside world, smile you are on candid camera guys click, your war-crimes have been noted down, but to prevent further bloodshed you are generously being offered this opportunity as according to Putin & the Russian Army this is not a war so technically you cannot

55/n surrender in said “not a war” but as #Ukraine is a legitimate functioning democracy you can be arrested for any crimes you commit whilst in this country & in a country that follows the rule of law properly you cannot be punished twice for the same crime. As you have been

56/n actively participating in horrific crimes under the scrutiny of the civilised world it should be easy to prosecute you in a fair international court. Making this offer a very good deal indeed, you can choose to be arrested & have rights like a phone call home to tell your

57/n family what is happening to you or you can choose to continue to one of the bleaker futures that Nova Baba Yaga lays out later on if this unjustified war drags on for months & months the opportunities for participating in one of the really bad futures drastically increase.

58/n Currently getting arrested is the much better choice see below if you really want colourful nightmares read the whole document to see some of your possible futures if you really think continuing to be a war-criminal is a good career choice whatever they are paying you would

59/n not be enough for me, on that subject have you seen how low the rouble has dropped after the world has seen what you have been doing? it is lower than a snakes wedding tackle, ask one of your commanders to confirm if I am telling the truth.

60/n The words you need to speak to the relevant Ukrainian authorities to get arrested by are “I apologise for inadvertently becoming a war-criminal by following the unjustifiable orders of Putin but wish to change my ways & submit to the civilian legal authorities of Ukraine on

61/n the understanding that I can plea bargain my crimes down to vandalism & disturbing the peace for which the punishment will be community service clearing away the debris of our collective vandalism etc until when convenient I will be deported back to my own country with a

62/n suspended sentence that states that if I ever return to Ukraine I will be treated as a fully fledged #Warcriminal with the legal punishment for that crime to be summarily executed by any legal Ukrainian authority if I should inadvisedly do so.

63/n As an extra bonus if you all give up being #war-criminals & stop fighting you will also help fellow Russians back home who are reportedly being tortured for going to anti war protests as if the “not a war” & consequent war-crimes all stop then there will be no need for the

64/n protests that get your families & friends back home tortured by the authorities into saying that the “special military operation” is an OK thing to do. I gather some of the protestors are mothers of young army members currently in #Ukraine with all the misinformation that is

65/n floating about I don’t know how true & how bad these reports are of protester torture, is it really likely that the police back home would really do such a thing? I don’t know about you but if it was me I would like to go back home as quickly as possible & & ask my mum what

66/n truly happened to her especially if I did not have a phone to contact her, depending upon her response if she was still capable of making one, I might want to make John Wick look like a namby pamby pinko liberal but then I have a little bit of trouble with my temper these

67/n days. The rumours of a $Million DEAD or ALIVE bounty on Putin's head for ordering the attack on #Ukraine are apparently untrue, the promise of money is only redeemable if he arrives at the Hague in a fit state to face trial for his crimes against humanity, I just thought I’d

68/n let you know the actual truth about the current situation especially in case anyone is tempted despite the inherent risks, as I gather news has been a bit restricted recently, you might wish to bare this in mind whilst you have the opportunity to plea bargain your own

69/n war-crimes down to disturbing the peace, in the Jingo book it was a funny joke in this world if President Zelenskyy does offer you this deal, I think he is honourable enough to do so & keep it, he is a real leader interested in the needs of his people putting them 1st by

70/n reducing further bloodshed for both sides over any desire for revenge &punishment for the atrocities already committed by you in his country. But for those of you who choose to continue being war-criminals after receiving this letter I will continue to use what is left of my

71/n mind to pro bono consult on making your remaining life overly interesting.

72/n Step 4 Spread this message as widely as possible. Unlike some plans of attack it does not have to be kept secret until the last minute it is more likely to succeed the more people both home & abroad find out about it, for those Ukrainians still at home they can enhance its

73/n chances by refining some of the Nova Baba Yaga stories printing or writing them out & attach them to doors etc that Russian troops are likely to come across as they move around my suggested template is:-

Nova Baba Yaga Bedtime story for War criminals

74/n Nova Baba Yaga has seen a future that will happen to one or more of you if this war drags on & on for months&months (insert variant of one of mine or if you have access to some horror writers they may by able to come up with more convincing scenarios)

You have 4 options:-

1 Drop your weapons then get arrested by a Ukrainian. The words you need to speak to the relevant Ukrainian authorities to get arrested by are “I apologise for inadvertently becoming a war-criminal by following the unjustifiable orders of Putin but wish to change my ways &

76/n submit to the civilian legal authorities of Ukraine on the understanding that I can plea bargain my crimes down to vandalism&disturbing the peace for which the punishment will be community service clearing away the debris of our collective vandalism etc until when convenient

77/n I will be deported back to my own country with a suspend sentence that states that if I ever return to Ukraine I will be treated as a fully fledged #Warcriminal with the legal punishment for that crime to be summarily executed by any legal Ukrainian authority if I should

78/n inadvisedly do so.

2 Go back home as quickly as you can.

3 If you don’t trust the Ukrainians & fear what Putin would do to you if you went back home head for one of the other borders & ask to be taken to the Hague I understand even war criminals get a warm bed, 3 square

79/n meals a day, TV & even a games machine if on good behaviour along with good legal representation but hurry get there before the rush as TVs & games are in short supply due to the chip shortage.

4 Stay as you are & see which future Nova Baba Yaga will choose for you if you

80/n continue with your wicked ways

End Poster idea

Though if available artists could improvise little vividly memorable graphics to go with any of the stories this may illustrate the point more quickly if you will pardon the pun.

81/n To properly demoralise the enemy of the corrupt Russian government try & bypass their controlled media send the message to all the Russian embassies around the world it is said that Ambassadors are honourable people who tell lies on behalf of their governments but one would

82/n hope that they tell the truth to those back home including their friends & families some of whom may be involved in the war, lines of communication maybe opened for a peaceful solution to the war even if the kleptocrat bosses don’t want it as they are not there on the front

83/n lines. The war can be stopped if the people who are there stop & choose a better way. If there are any fax machines still functioning in Russia & you can find their numbers a few Nova Baba Yaga messages with info to find out more may cause some water cooler discussions not

84/n controlled or censored by the authorities.
As Sting says much more eloquently than me in his song lets hope the Russians love their children too and if this message gets past censorship firewalls to any ordinary Russians not hopelessly brainwashed by Putin propaganda machine

85/n it may up the pressure a little bit to get their boys recalled home away from the chance of meeting a nasty future I don’t know how true it is but reports I have heard are that already the Russians have lost about 11000 from the 150000 odd who entered the country illegally

86/n add another 4000 & Putin will look like a bad Roman general doing a Decimation of his own troops now there is an idea to work on for the Nova Baba Yaga stories bring back

87/n Decimation get the boys to do it to themselves now that Putin has brutalised & brainwashed them into uncaring #Warcriminals sew a little chaos in the ranks but only if they

88/n don’t choose the better future option. As Sting said let really hope the Russians love their children too it would be nice if we could #StopTheWar before things deteriorate any more.

89/n Well this is the hard ask point, although I think writing this document has the distinct possibility of getting me into considerable trouble in the future for which I am prepared to face the consequences, at the moment I sit in relative comfort behind a keyboard I have never

90/n before had to ask people to face death to carry out one of my ideas I normally try to make things safer but this might be the key to success of this plan. Communication to the individual army units will I think be tightly controlled & these are the people you really want to

91/n stop using their weapons immediately so I suggest this. There is a traditional way to form a line of communication in a hot war between two sides that is to send someone with a white flag offering terms. It will take some very brave people to do this considering the enemy

92/n you face but if you can co-ordinate this to happen at the same time all over what is left of your country it may again increase the chances of it working. Ideally the message deliverers should look as inoffensive as possible, be clearly unarmed I suggest dressed as postmen/

93/n postwomen carrying a bunch of letters along with the white flag. On the letters will be written Here are our terms for ending hostilities please read & choose if you will accept them or make a counter offer. Within the envelops should be the relevant parts of this message.

94/n To try give some kind of backup to the brave posties, have people further back obviously filming them that was why the earlier candid camera reference if it is not too out of date but there may be a more recent cultural reference that better communicates this idea in Russian

95/n this is about communicating a set of ideas not a one for one translation as I say this is an open source idea feel free to pick choose & embellish anything I have shared the more convincing the finished article is the better the chance of success.

96/n The commanders of each unit should get a separate letter which includes

Until X date this offer is open to everybody in the unit including you but when that time runs out the offer will still open to the rest of your squad for 1 more day but only if they give you the Soweto

97/n Necklace treatment &show proof of it happening after another day we go back to the Roman decimation option as well as Soweto Necklace treatment for the commander every 10th man the squad gets the same treatment how it is sorted out between you is up to each squad. As we have

98/n not yet become as monstrous as the war criminals you are bombing maternity hospitals etc on the number of people being burnt alive you can round down if your squads are not evenly dividable by 10. I suspect that it will not be checked to carefully if any bodies have signs of

99/n a mercy shot as long as the bodies are well burnt after all you have not yet turned all of us into the kind of monsters you are but that could change as time progresses increasing the likelihood you will receive one of the Nova Baba Yaga suggestions if you choose to have

100/n one of the bad futures that may make the Soweto Necklace treatment look merciful. You may wish to put down your weapons & follow our postie who is authorised to make a citizens arrest or let them go back while you consider your options & impending dates should anything

101/n unfortunate happen to our messenger you&your squad will get priority treatment for 1 of the more interesting futures sweet dreams via #NovaBabaYaga. I Hope this message will cause consternation &chaos within each squad even if it does not bring about an immediate ceasefire.

102/n All this is a variant of the #GingerBeerTrick used in the book #NightWatch both good & bad as in it is worth trying it using words as done by #MrVimes but if the war grinds on for a long time you may consider releasing your inner dark-side & go full on Carcer hoping that if

103/n the examples made are sufficiency terrifying your enemy will eventually give up & go home with you saving as many of your people as you can.

Why Nova Baba Yaga you may ask I had to pick something symbolic there have been many horrific tragedies reported as a person fond

104/n of animals this one helped me choose an approach.

Its seems a brave young lady died taking food to a dog shelter
#GNUAnastasiiaYalanskaya

https://twitter.com/Ash_Stewart_/status/1500221871760949250?s=20&t=GZwUDjxqPRVgbjn3ofQ77Q

105/n Now I hope that some prospective #Ukrainian John Wicks can instil Nova Baba Yaga like fear into the Russian #Warcriminals that did this. My one criticism of that film is the guy who killed his dog died much to quickly &humanely I really hope that those who killed Anastasiia

106/n & her friends in the process of helping suffering dogs die an particularly unpleasant death. As a former dog owner I would not be nice to anyone who killed a dog of mine with evil intent.If it were the death of a parent, partner or child I suspect I could be driven to some

107/n really unimaginable bad extremes of the kind as mentioned in one memorable movie #PulpFiction paraphrasing "Get me some pliers & a blow torch I am going to get medieval on the ass of any #RussianWarcriminals caught." is how I am thinking but I am not on the front lines.

108/n Going back to utilising the psychology of the Ginger Beer trick you could have the guards just outside some of your captured prisoners areas discus within earshot things as if some of the bad stuff was already happening to unofficially caught prisoners &that the ones looked

109/n after here had it really good then offer a prisoner exchange using some of the prisoners who had heard the stories as a way of demoralising army squads as early as possible or if you can arrange it send a group back home with the Russian Z=swastika burning tyre guy printed

110/n after here had it really good then offer a prisoner exchange using some of the prisoners who had heard the stories as a way of demoralising army squads as early as possible or if you can arrange it send a group back home with the Russian Z=swastika burning tyre guy printed

111/n on their foreheads in indelible ink to demoralise those with power over the Russian establishment.
**WARNING EXTREME CONTENT**
The following guard exchange is not for young eyes it is where I try to be persuasively nasty you may wish to skip ahead a bit WarCriminals read-on

112/n Guard 1 In some places vigilante justice is already happening to prisoners captured by non regular troops the law about the Soweto Necklace being the punishment for convicted war criminals has not been properly enacted yet but it is already being tested out in the wilds I

113/n saw a vid of it happening they start pleading for their mothers pleading for a bullet for which I was beginning to have some sympathy but I was told that our snipers need every bullet that we can spare for the other new tactic rather shoot to kill aim to take out knee caps

114/n of 1 or 2 in an enemy squad it reduces their effectiveness much more than a death having to drag their comrades around also at night their screams of pain are said to have a demoralising effect especially if any of the commanders do follow Putin's orders to shoot any of

115/n their own wounded that are a drag on resources. Guard 2 Yeah but they were the lucky ones I know death by being burnt alive is normally one of the nastier ways to go but it is usually over within 10 minutes or so at least if its not done with one of those dodgy dried out

116/n tyres taken from a Russian vehicle as they have been left out in the sun to long & don’t contain enough volatiles for a quick relatively humane blaze, I heard one had to be relit 3 or 4 times

Guard 1 I hear that a group of mothers who lost their children in one of the

117 schools that was bombed have a some of the captured #RussianWarcriminals in a basement & are sewing the names of the dead children into the skin of the captured #RussianWarcriminals in a very small font with blunt needles over & over again, with GNU in double stitched filling

118/n caps to really drive the point home if you will pardon the pun haha I don’t know what the GNU is about maybe it was the children favourite animal people do really strange things when brutalised by the experiences of war.

Guard 1 Where did you hear that?

Guard 2 from 1 of

119/n the medics who was asked for some hydrogen peroxide so that they don’t die of septic shock too quickly.

Guard 2 oh yeah now I remember I heard it a little differently someone said at least its cold in those basements you would not want to be showing a lot of skin in

120/n certain areas though I gather one particularly creative grandmother knitted some prince Albert’s in place which were being used as leads to drag them back to their cells between the sewing lessons it certainly brings water to my eyes my thinking about it.

Guard 1 Yeah even

121 now for some I have a little bit of empathy left but then some of the others really deserve the nasty treatments and are worth watching I know a group of 3 #RussianWarCriminal Rapists were lined up in a row along a fixed plank had their scrotum's nailed to the plank then

122/n their junk was covered in a dark sticky flammable substance it I think it was sump oil from a bomb out car by the look of it mixed with a little bit of petrol set on fire then one of the raped threw a rusty knife into the middle of the group. The 1st winner of the knife cut

123/n his own junk off realised what he had done then cut his own throat, to give him his due before he died he passed the knife onto one of his fellow suffering comrades who being a bit brighter immediately cut his own throat before passing the knife along to the last guy who

124/n having more time to think stabbed his femoral artery for a quicker death. They all died so quick I did not have a chance to finish my popcorn.

Guard 2 didn’t any of them consider using the knife to try & fight their way out.?

Guard 1 Nah some of the women they had raped

125/n were standing behind them with cattle prods discussing what they would do to them next if any of them survived I for one will always treat women with respect some of those ideas are going haunt my nightmares for the rest of my life.

126/n ***WARNING*** The next bit is also on the nasty side if you wish to skip the nightmare fuel stuff to where there is little more positivity scroll past the Ukrainian balls pic to the next

"Well that is about as much #NovaBabaYaga "

127/n It does not matter that probably none of these things have happened yet but it is the little details that make them seem so realistic that can convince you that maybe just maybe #NovaBabaYaga can really see the bad quantum futures if you miss out on both the one good future

128/n &the slightly quicker deaths like the Soweto Necklace as the “not a war” drags on for months & months maybe yours will be the one where you are tied to a chair with a saline drip to keep you hydrated & a few hungry rats are locked in the cold basement with you, no one comes

129/n back even if you scream really loudly your apologies for the sins you have committed. Drip drip a drop of water slides down the old style incandescent light bulb above you it explodes plunging you into darkness & raining down little bits of glass onto you &the plastic chair

130/n you are sitting on luckily you are not cut immediately giving you a little bit of false hope, but when you eventually get cramp & flinch grinding your legs together you feel a small trickle of blood run down the inside of your thigh. The very hungry rats now smell blood

131/n fade to black… as the bulb is now broke. Its the little details that make it seem so realistic can’t you imagine the mother of a dead child doing something like this to you if the opportunity arose how many children have died already how many mothers are waiting for a

132/n war-criminal to trip up in the wrong place.? It wasn’t my child, the mother in this future maybe be motivated to make the remainder of your life even more interesting there are limits to my creativity this #NovaBabaYaga is trying to make you choose one of the better futures

133/n as more & more bad choices are made legions of other Baba Yagas may start whispering truly horrific ways to slowly cause a death that can be done with easily available household items… Many people are not as nice as me especially when they have been badly wronged.

134/n Now if you continue bombing energy & water supplies continuing your careers as war-criminals it might be hard to put out any Soweto Necklaces if the Ukrainians administering quick justice decided to be merciful & change their minds when you start to show remorse for your

135/n crimes & or beg for your mothers.

When wars go bad & drag on & on food shortages become so desperate that people have to improvise resorting to desperate measures it maybe wise & in the self interest of the #RussianWarCriminals to let food aid conveys in unmolested...

136/n #BBQAlive #Warcriminals I hear people taste of pork that is why in some places humans are called longpig but if we cause enough fear in the #WarCriminals before cooking some of them may eventually taste like chicken 🐖🥓🐔🍗😜

137/n Well as Putin cares so much for his #WarCriminal troops & feeds them so well ;-) one #WarCriminal can feed a family of four for an entire fortnight if you manage the tourniquets properly just cutting off one limb at a time keeping them fresh. Well for those who like steak

138/n I have found that it is best to tenderise the thigh meat whilst the #WarCriminal is still alive otherwise it can be a bit tough. Also remember that anyone who has been raped gets 1st dibs on the “sausage” portion if they can still find any candles but remember the duct tape

139/n for the mouth I hear some have had their hearing damaged from the more enthusiastic screams.

It’s OK on the candles front apparently Natasha found some children's birthday cake candles in the remains of that bomb out orphanage it takes a little bit longer to properly cook

140/n the“sausage”all the way through especially when Natasha sings a nursery rhyme between each little candle to make it last longer she says it gives time for the blood to return after each rhyme & says if she closes her eyes the end result tastes like overcooked black pudding.

141/n The recipe theme could be be expanded up by those with more experience with cookery than me its the little details that help paint a more vivid picture in the mind. Maybe a few sweetmeat recipes done in graphic detail that reminds me of the joke about the restaurant next to

142/n a bullring with the punchline when small portions were served well sometimes the Bull wins sir. As they say an army marches on its stomach and as it must be true with your enthusiastic war/”not a war” efforts that your foods supplies are excellent as according to Putin's

143/n PR people the army lives like kings where food is concerned so you are unlikely to have to revert to cannibalism as the war goes on but in the unlikely event that I was misinformed at least on the Brightside Ukrainian sweetmeats have a high calorie content according to some

144/n sources of information⤵️ 😜

Maybe someone could write a bit based on Scrooge’s future ghost visiting a #RussianWarCriminal future grave but because of the cannibalism they end up taking a very descriptive tour of the sewers once the lack of clean water slows things down

145 done in the style of Dickens.

Remember you RussianWarCriminals reality is often much worse than fiction it does not have to be logically consistent but look on the bright side you have made the Ukrainian people so incandescent with rage you are likely to die reasonably

146 quickly as it hard to have the patience to really extend the length of suffering when the adrenaline is really up people squeeze too hard or cut too deeply ending the suffering much too quickly for an atheist like me who has no belief in the hell you deserve for your actions

147/n but I could be wrong remembering the Kaiser Soze quote “The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist.” you all have to be much better atheists than me I would not have done the things you have done if any of the #NovaBabaYaga futures

148/n were just a warm up exercise before entering hell for all eternity. But then I am the kind of person who would have doubts about a bad order sweet dreams guys remember:-

“I was just following orders just isn’t good enough!!!!”

149/n Well that is about as much #NovaBabaYaga role-play as I can stomach for now I apologise to the Ukrainian people for my learner driver level attempt to be scary enough to frighten enough sense into the #RussianWarCriminals that they consider joining the Human race again. As

150/n I said I normally I try to be a nice guy but you with your recent experiences will I think be motivated & able to improve considerably upon my modest attempts. Though in the million to one chance this does have an effect it is true that sometimes people do learn from their

151/n mistakes if they are given a second chance so treat them in a civilised manner if they do choose arrest. They say to win a war you have to be able to think like your enemy I tried & really don’t like looking out through Putin's dead eyes it is hard trying to be as scary as

152/n him but this will only work if #RussianWarCriminals fear the Ukrainian peoples possible future revenge more than they fear him. I would much rather go back to trying to be a nice person but I suspect I may have to write a sequel to this document to try & persuade the

153/n politicians of western governments to get a bit of backbone & give you a no fly zone. Again after seeing what is going on in your country I apologise for being such a slow writer I think I can get a version of this out on the 11th hour of the 11th day for a little bit of

154/n symbolism that I hope may focus other minds but this is the best I can come up with I have run a few spell checks but to any Grammar Nazis out there your welcome to come up with you're own #NovaBabaYaga stories to help the Ukraine people out after all this idea is fully

155/n open source available for anybody to improve upon maybe a well placed Oxford coma will be the straw that brakes the camels back😜

There have been people who think of better ways to live, think of all those who have died already in this conflict who may have made the world

156/n if they had lived Imagine a better future and try to take that path.

There have been many good Russians the hero Stanislav Petrov once stopped a nuclear war from happening he disobeyed a bad order & saved the world I hope that there are still

157/n many like him along with the heroes in Russia protesting the war despite the consequences facing them for doing so.

Like I say I have no hatred for the Russian people but I do for kleptocratic leaders who order the killing of innocents

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stanislav…

158/n to enrich themselves & their cronies.

If this works I may have to finally get a Guarding dark tattoo to symbolically keep my inner dark side properly under control I might not like myself if it was fully unleashed to help create bad futures for bad people there is always

159/n the possibility that they were just badly misled and would choose something better if given a second chance.

A final meme for the #RussianWarCriminals that still don’t think they are embrace a little doubt think about what you have done & become.

160/n Do you really want to imitate what was in your more honourable past your enemy think about if just if you are now the bad guys & if you want to change.

161/n It is often hard to give up the hate of an enemy when things have escalated so badly but even your worst enemy may be or have been loved by someone.GNU All who have died already in this conflict on both sides may they rest in peace without the fear of future overcrowding

162/n Maybe we all need a bit more love in our lives.

Yours SANEAlex Aka Nova Baba Yaga

161/n

Ps After writing this I think I’ll take a little break before writing any sequel maybe you all should too I remember a story from WWI where on Xmas they took the day off from the war & played football, In #Discworld which I have referred to several times above the closest

162/n thing to Xmas is Hogswatch where this quote comes from⤵️

Which shows you how much better a man that #GNUTerryPratchett was than I am, you might really want to start believing very hard in things like Justice & Mercy as they seem in short supply at the moment

163/n I am going to take the weekend off you should too, maybe read a book or even have a football game. I promise not to work on improving Plan A over the weekend and even longer if the guns stay silent.

&After 3 hours of posting I will go&get a cup of #Tea ☕️ before possible☢️