Thread by @WeaverRew

I’m still in shock, and intermittently weepy as I process (mute thread if you need). Starting w the numbers, which are, simply, mind blowing:

Total debt forgiven: in the low 6 digits, abt half a house
Total retirement fund, std same year as #PSLF: about 3k *less* than loans 1/

https://twitter.com/WeaverRew/status/1571192887215374336

I realized I’ve been low-key thinking about my retirement fund as “almost enough to pay off student loans if shit hits fan” fund. Now it’s . . . an actual retirement fund. 2/

Speaking of retirement, spouse and I have filed tax separately bc filing jointly would’ve raised “my” income, disqualifying me for the IBR, ICR, and poss the PSLF itself. The guv penalizes married ppl filing separately, inc. barring us from having Roth IRAs (w tax advantages) 3/

We will also be able to finally start making plans to renovate our really shitty garage. It leaks from above and below and is just the worst. We've been waiting and waiting and waiting. Now we can do it! 4/

As you all know, there's been a lot of talk about "irresponsible borrowing" in the debate about stdt loans, in that those of us who advocate for forgiveness want it because we bought pies and candy w the loans. That's a LOT of pies and candy 5/ #PSLF #PslfWorks

So what did the loans pay for? 1st, take 35-40k (abt 1/5) off the total amount forgiven. That's interest 2 ways: interest from unsubsidized dept. ed loans in grad school, consolidated w all other loans, then interest on top of that when I consolidated again for the #Pslf 6/

What I borrowed, when: I went to @pacificu, and fell in love w it day 1. Yes, I could have gone to a different school, but I felt deeply that it was the exactly right place for me. Still do. In retrospect, I would've been fine going to a diff school. 7/

But try telling any 18 yo that they'll know something different in 30 years! And, I dare you, try telling THAT 18 yo she couldn't go to that school, esp the first year, when scholarships and grants took care of most of the bill. 8/

But--many of you can see this coming--the numbers for the second year didn't add up. That exp, where a lot of the help available in the 1st year isn't avail in the 2nd year, is really really really common. NB: I had no familial financial support. #Pslf 9/

I DEEPLY wanted to stay and when 1st presented with the poss I couldn't unless I took out loans, I was sad / frightened / worried. Moving back to my hometown wasn't a good option. I wanted to stay at my soul-home yet I intuited that taking out loans wasn't ideal. 10/

But what was I supposed to do in order to do what I was supposed to do (get a good education)? I took out the loans. The FAO helped me figure out the bare minimum I could take out and told me to borrow ONLY from the Dept. of Ed. Grateful to this day for that advice. 11/

My first grad degree (MFA) was only partially funded through working at writing center at that school, so in addition to other part time temp jobs, loans had to cover cost of living. Jobs included admin assistant, plastic factory, housecleaning. These were LEAN years. #PSLF 12/

My PhD, which I went for because I wanted to teach college, and saw that folks with MFAs were already getting edged out of job searches for teaching positions, was "fully" funded in that my classes and health insurance were paid for in addition to a small stipend, but 13/

That stipend only covered living some years. The lean years continued. I supplemented my stipend by working other temp jobs and dumpster diving. I found the cheapest rent I could, dumpster dived, and didn't have a car. Temp jobs inc: artist PA, personal chef, book seller. 14/

It still wasn't enough some years, and loans filled the gap, and then I had to get my teeth fixed. And then I had to start presenting work at conferences. And then I got a car after hoofing it for years). So loans covered the gap. 15/

The year after I finished my PhD, I cobbled together a couple of semesters of adjunct hustle and started paying loans in the last 6 months of that year. It was the first time I ever had something that looked like a real salary, but the next year didn't promise that. 16/

I knew about #PSLF (it had been around for a few years by that time), but only half of that year would "count" because it was full time at one school (At the time, FT had to be at one school--I hope this is better now so that adjuncts can use the program) 17/

Luckily, I was offered a @brittainfellows at Georgia Tech, in Atlanta, where my GF lived already (we'd been long-distance for a year) and applied for #PSLF within a month after moving here. 18/

Luckily someone at the @usedgov told me that the difference btwn how much I owed and how much I made was so big that I also qualified for income-based-repayment, lowering my monthly payments by several hundreds. 19/

I got a FT TT job I love at a CC here after postdoc. It's been a long 10 yrs--checking every year that my work counted, paperwork issues, phone waits, real fear the program would go away, making a living wage for the first time ever, but w back-burner anxiety the whole time, 20/

added to the fear, anxiety, and burnout of the last 2.5 years. I think I'm struggling to see the forgiveness as real (just checked my account again--it's still paid in full, and 0$ owed, whew) because I've lived with them hanging over my head for 25 years. 21/

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