Thread by @HollytheOT

If a #parent of an #SEN child (esp autistic) presents as #anxious, high maintenance, needy, rude, full on or any of the other awful terminology used to describe them, what do you think might be *really* going on. Let’s unpack it 🧵

#Teachers #SENCO #Inclusion leads #SENtwitter

This is not a new topic. Parents have been talking about the difficulties of being labelled as overly anxious for many years.
So why does this keep happening?
2/🧵 #Teachers #SENCO #Inclusion leads #SENtwitter

Professionals don’t want to feel helpless. Difficult situations and lack of resources cause feelings of helplessness all around and it is easier to blame the most vulnerable and easy target. The anxious parent. 3/🧵

Blaming #parents is completely inexcusable though. #Autistic and #neurodivergent children more often than not have at least one autistic/ ND parent. Blaming parents for their communication style is ableist, discriminatory and causes more trauma for both the parent and child. 4/🧵

#Specialschool settings want to feel that they are experts in a condition/ type of presentation. The thing is though, they are NEVER the expert in that child. It is nearly always the main caregiver - often the mother. Ignoring this is shortsighted 5/🧵

The misogyny of blaming mothers for their children’s disorders goes back throughout history. It is inconvenient & time consuming to listen & validate concerned parents (esp mothers). I can tell you 💯% it is THE most powerful intervention you have to support family wellbeing 6/🧵

Do not be the additional struggle in that family’s lives. Providing emotional containment is not a waste of time,it is deeply therapeutic and a necessary human connection in times of uncertainty. Basically, if an #SEN parent is having a tough time, don’t be a dick to them. End/🧵